Sean Fiery's Adventures In Wasteland

[Icon Lord Sean "Magic" Fiery]

Introducing the short story inspired by Sean Fiery's visual storytelling of his personal, spiritual journey that led up to his triumphant victory in GZW2K1's Lord of the Coliseum. Take a step beyond reality and into the "magical" world that lies within the mind of Sean Fiery.

Chapter One:
Down The Rabbit Hole

I woke up with the sun beaming down on me. It took me a while to even shake the sleep off, and as my eyes adjusted to the brightness, I still wasn’t fully aware of my surroundings. It was such a foreign environment: A patch of empty desert landscape surrounded by tall trees and lush mountains not too far away. I tried to pick myself up in order to get myself out of there, but the pressure in my head kept weighing me down. I tried to focus… Tried to breathe and find some strength to carry on. Just as I wobbled to my feet, the first thing I noticed was a white rabbit nibbling at something in the dirt, so I approached it to see if it was any clue as to where I was. A map, maybe? A location? A name? Anything…

It was a piece of paper, slightly buried under the sand. I dusted it off and read it to myself. It was a plea from someone, asking for a brave hero to save their Kingdom and in turn grant them the Lord’s crown. I didn’t know what I was even looking at, to be honest. Nothing made sense to me, especially this letter. What Kingdom? Where? We’re a little outdated for Medieval crap, aren’t we? But the curiosity sank in and I wanted to know where this came from. I then remembered the rabbit, and saw it staring at me, propping itself up on its hind legs. I couldn’t believe what I was about to do, but I felt the desire to ask the rabbit anyway…

“Where did you find this…?”

The rabbit’s ears twitched, as if it understood, and it started to hop away. So, I followed it along, hoping to find some answers myself. Maybe it’s going back to where it found this plea? Maybe it knows where this Kingdom is and I can do something to help out? Maybe I’m just crazy?! The latter would be more justifiable, but who the hell’s going to judge me right now? Surely the rabbit doesn’t care? Or does it?

While I was interrogating myself, I didn’t realize I what was in front of me until I felt my feet slip from under me and I started falling into what I thought was a burrow of some sort at first, but no burrow is this big. I was sliding down this dirt tunnel, deep into the ground, until I was launched into some kind of dark cave. I kept falling and falling, trying to reach around for something to make it all stop. Odd visuals then began to project themselves as I continued to fall. I saw flashes of recognizable faces--something that I finally knew--Rupert Martin, Timothy Jones, Kandi, Raze, Eva, Leon, Tyler Primus, and Seth. Each one of them had something to say as I passed them by, but nothing that I can remember since it happened all too quickly. I was positive that this was all in my imagination. My initial thought was it’s all an odd dream and I’ll wake up the second I hit the ground. But then I began to wonder if maybe I was dead? Maybe this was life flashing before my eyes? Then… I saw a bright light.

“FUCK!”

My heart and head were racing simultaneously at the revelation. I just wanted to kiss my wife one more time… Hold my son and hug him tight. I wanted to say goodbye.

But it wasn’t the bright light I was dreading. I noticed it was a crown, floating off in the distance and coming closer to me. It was so beautiful and enchanting. A sign of hope, perhaps? I reached out for it as it hovered closer and closer. Just as my fingertips touched it, an explosion of light emitted everywhere around me. I felt blinded by this golden shimmer, turning that once dark cave into a bright empty canvas. I had to shield my eyes just to keep them from exploding out of their sockets. Slowly, however, it began to fade away. And then I realized I wasn’t falling anymore… I was standing, feeling the gravity of my weight once again. It was such a relieving sensation that I generally take for granted.

The bright light disappeared and there I was, standing in the middle of a dirt path leading up towards a labyrinth of a forest. I couldn’t even begin to describe my initial impressions, but what I saw gave me chills. I thought I was lost before? And now… This? Some sections of the forest looked dark and creepy while others looked sunny and rather pleasant. I wasn’t sure how I even got there… Or why? But this acid trip surely had to have a purpose! Or at least an end! So, I followed the path towards the forest.

Just before I could enter, I came across a large post with a bunch of different arrows pointing to quite a few different paths, leading deep into the jungle. This really didn’t help out at all! And suddenly, appearing from behind the post, was something… Someone familiar! Kandi! She was glowing like an angel and her smile was warm and comforting. I tried to ask her where I was and how to get out of here, but she didn’t offer many answers. She only wished me luck and warned me of the dangers ahead, so be prepared for anything. Before I could say another word, she slowly vanished, leaving me with a wide smile and wink before becoming transparent. For some reason, this didn't strike me as odd.

I took a deep breath, looked at the many different paths ahead of me, and decided that I need to start somewhere. So I took a trail that led into what appeared to be a foggy section of the forest. I could smell tobacco tickle my nose as I got closer and I wasn’t sure if I had made the right choice… But then again, maybe that’s what I should be thinking? Denial is the first step to a better life, afterall. Hopefully the next step reveals my sanity, or else this journey is going to push me further into a freakin’ asylum!

As I traveled further into the fog, all I could think to myself was:

“…I really should stop reading Evan weird fairytales before bed…”

Chapter Two:
Advice From A Smoker

I cut through the fog of smoke, trying to follow the path as best as I could. Things became even thicker than before and I couldn’t see a damn thing in front of me. I slowed my pace until coming to a full stop. I could hear someone… They were close by. Maybe this is what Kandi was warning me about? This could be one of the dangers, trapping me in this cloud and waiting to strike me down in an instant. The voice I heard was low and mumbling, as if they were talking to themselves. I figured it was time I said something to catch their attention, so a simple Hello? would suffice…

“Hello…?”

The voice then stopped. I clawed at the fog around me, swatting at it to clear the air, and slowly the smoke began to settle. Finally I was able to see, as clouded as things still were. I looked around in front of me, only seeing empty trees and open forest. Not even an animal! Suddenly, the voice came back. They were directly behind me.

“Who are you?”

So, I shot around, ready to attack but keeping my guard just incase. I noticed what seemed to be a man lounging in a therapist’s leather couch. I couldn’t make out the man initially, but judging by the cigarette in his hand, I could only assume it to be one man… Rupert Martin.

“Uh… Rupert? What are you doing here?”

“Who… Are… You…?”

I couldn’t help but nervously chuckle. Who am I? Well… Who am I? Apparently he doesn’t know me… If it’s even Rupert? I could just be putting familiar faces on people to make myself comfortable? He’s staring at me cautiously now… I should probably answer him?

“To be honest… I don’t even know who I am myself, right now…”

He casually smoked his cigarette again. It’s his fault everything’s so foggy over here! Rupert gave me a dumbfounded look, as if I was a crazy man… Yet intrigued at the same time.

“Explain yourself…”

I thought: Explain myself? Explain yourself! I couldn’t even begin to explain myself when I don’t even know what’s going on! You atleast seem to know where you are! Rupert. Or guy that looks like Rupert! Bah, whatever. Maybe he can help me?

“Well… At first I was in a wrestling match back in the real world… I remember being hit in the head pretty hard and getting knocked out. And next thing I know I’m in the middle of nowhere, following a white rabbit that led me down into this forest. I don’t even know if I’m alive! Or if this is all a dream! I took this path to try to find a way out of this place, you see…”

“I do not see…”

This is becoming tiresome. I can’t explain something I don’t know! What does this guy expect from me?!

“What do you know…?”

“That’s the problem! Everything I knew is suddenly gone… And everything I know now… Well, I don’t even know!”

“You said you followed the rabbit, correct?”

“I think so…? Do you know the rabbit?”

“Everyone knows the rabbit. That trifling rodent likes to play childish games that I am none to pleased with. Why did you follow the rabbit, however? Did it offer you something?”

“It had a piece of paper with it… A plea. Someone is looking for a hero to save their Kingdom and will reward them with the Lord’s crown.”

“Wretched creature! Always bringing new people into this forest with the false aspiration of this crown. I will have you know, I have been searching for that same Kingdom when I discovered a plea myself. The irony of the situation is: There is no Kingdom! Humorous, is it not?!”

No Kingdom? That’s ridiculous! There has to be a Kingdom! Kandi would have warned me otherwise! Why is Rupert laughing?! Is he laughing at me?!

“Why are you laughing?! I don‘t find that funny at all!”

“That is because it is not! For you, anyway… For me, it is hilarious!”

This is dumb… He’s lost his mind! Then I remembered that I’m the one questioning my own sanity. I can’t really criticize him much in hindsight, but for the time being, he’s lost his mind.

“Listen, if you’re not going to help me with some appreciated advice, I’m going to keep searching. Maybe to find the Kingdom, you need some positivity? You seem like a pessimist with your attitude.”

He stopped laughing and gave me such a vicious glare, as if I had stolen something from him. He smoked his cigarette again and tapped his fingers on his chest as he leaned back into the leather couch. Maybe he had a therapist at one time… And they realized that Rupert is a lost cause and left him be? I wouldn’t blame them.

“You must be a man of faith? Those religious nuts are always preaching about optimism. I used to be like that, Misteeerrr…?”

“You can call me Sean…”

He gave me a repulsed look and shook his head.

“Mister it is. I used to be like you, trying to find the brighter aspects of life and enjoy them while they last. I kept reaching for the stars as if my arm was long enough to pluck one out of the milky way. I wanted to be a hero as well and help a greater cause. My idols have always fought for what they believed in, no matter how often they failed… Miserably. What lifestyle is that, Mister? I respect my idols for what they have accomplished, however I do not want to fail as they have. I see the sacrifices they make, only to be the unfortunate lamb, cast out to the slaughter. How do you discover yourself through failure, might I ask?”

“Learn from your faults… Improve on your weaknesses. Failure sucks, sure, but keeping your head high and making that next attempt to finally conquer that failure… It’s the biggest payoff one could ask for.”

Rupert cringed. I noticed his cigarette isn’t even dying out. He kept smoking and smoking and it remained as it was the very first second I spotted him. He rolled his eyes and sat up on his couch.

“How many times must one fail before succeeding? I would rather not experience the unhappiness and sudden strike to my confidence when I could just work harder to get what I want in the first place.”

“To your surprise, there’s always someone who works a little bit harder…”

“I refuse to allow that, Mister. Maybe I am the optimistic one between the two of us? You have the wisdom of an old owl, but lack the survival of nature’s beast. You tiptoe around the fact that you will never succeed, but find no harm in the attempt to do so.”

“I have succeeded, though. Many times. Just… I’ve never helped save a Kingdom before. And maybe it will take me back home?! That’s all I want… Is to go home!”

“So it is not even about the Kingdom?”

“Well, no, that’s not true…”

“You just said all you want is to go home and that is the only reason you want to save the Kingdom! You want the Lord’s crown in order to use the power it possesses! Perhaps I know you better than you know yourself?”

He can’t be serious?! I might not know where I am or what I’m doing here… But I know my own damn morals and intentions! He’s one of those manipulators, twisting and turning words around to suit their own agenda. I should snap his…

“You are selfish, Mister. All the success one man could dream of in a lifetime, but you crave more?! You hunger for a higher power that perhaps you have fallen short of before, and yet you continue to make the attempt. Would it be harmful to allow someone else the opportunity? You have obviously taken a long journey of your own and along the way have discovered who you are.”

“Yes… And…?”

“Do not interrupt.”

What a piece of work, I tell ya! Jeez, I should have avoided the fog, I knew it was a bad sign! How can someone smoke so much, anyway? He’s lucky he hasn’t gotten cancer. Or, better yet, I’m unlucky that he hasn’t gotten cancer. Maybe he’ll lose the ability to speak over time?

“I am still on the path to discovery and I believe that if I save the Kingdom and took upon myself the Lord’s crown, I could finally come to terms with who I am and what I am meant to do!”

“Didn’t you just say earlier that you gave up your hope?”

“I said no such thing!”

Yes you did, you bastard! Your admitted to quitting your journey! You abandoned the Kingdom because you knew you couldn’t save it! I don’t think Rupert even realizes that his words change on such a frequent basis… That it’s impossible to even find himself! You can’t find the lost until you start backtracking your steps. He appears to forget his altogether!

“You said there is no Kingdom…”

“Not for you…”

“So… For you, there is?”

“Indeed.”

“Hypocrite! You are a pathetic, little hypocrite! What gives you the right to accuse me of greed when you yourself are as greedy as any selfish jackass?!”

Rupert grew red with anger, finding himself to be defensive at my backfire. I found amusement in his anger, but felt sorry for him at the same time.

“I want to find peace with myself! I want the discovery I have long since forgotten! Who am I?! I want to be something! I want to pick up the lost pieces of my past existence! I want my soul back!”

“Hmmm… You want, you want, you want?”

“And so? You want, you want, you want…”

“But not without the intention of giving back in return. You should give back what you take and then some. All of YOUR wants… Come with no reward for the Kingdom. Maybe the plea I found was to protect it from you…?”

Rupert stared into my eyes as I clenched my fists, coming to terms that perhaps this man is the danger to the Kingdom.

“I have no desire to protect or destruct the Kingdom. The current Lord is a corrupt, vile individual that will fidget with your mind and eventually place your severed head on his list of demands if you even pass his eyesight awkwardly. The favor I would do for the Kingdom is simple: Exile this ogre so that no one will suffer his wrongdoings again. With me as Lord, there is no worry of perversion…”

“And what about peace? Your head isn’t as clean as you may believe.”

“Are you accusing me of insanity, Mister?”

He gave me such a cold look, seeming protective of his mental stability. I didn’t want to provoke him entirely, but there comes a point when some people need to hear certain revelations.

“I think you know you’re crazy, and you’re content with that. But with that little voice in your head coming down with a slight case of paranoia and split-personality disorder… Who’s certain that you’re stable enough to be any better than this monster you speak of?”

“I would never terrorize the innocent.”

“Would you?”

A devious smile perked up as Rupert reached into his pocket. I became cautious as I realized that he wasn’t adjusting himself… He was reaching for something. And sure enough, my worries were confirmed. He pulled out a revolver and waved it at me. I raised my hands slightly in the air as he looked at the gun with a strike of love in his eyes.

“Would I? If the innocent would eventually be guilty, perhaps I would be doing everyone a solid if I cut them off at the source? Are you guilty?”

“Guilty of what?! I don’t even…”

“Guilty of murdering my aspirations? Upon observing the evidence, I would assume you were here to steal the Lord’s crown from me.”

I pierced an ugly glare at him and lowered my arms. I refused to be punished for something so ridiculous! No less accused of attempting a noble deed for this desperate Kingdom! I got closer to him and placed my hands on the gun, slowly pointing it at my chest. He struggled at first, but realized that I was giving him an open shot.

“Then shoot me in the fucking heart right now! This Kingdom… That crown… It’s my last chance and hope to finally complete my journey. If you want to stop me, then you better put a bullet through the very object that’s keeping my hope alive. The only thing I’m guilty of right now is the desire to be a hero and bring some peace within this Kingdom and furthermore… Within myself.”

I stabbed the gun at my chest and eye him with this dare I’ve given him.

“Are you willing to become just like the corrupted Lord you speak so wrongly of? Is that how you plan to discover yourself?! Or will you realize that the Kingdom is more important than you ever will be and it NEEDS a leader… It NEEDS a white knight to guard the helm at any cost?! I’m willing to be that representation and I will claw my way into that position no matter who points the gun at me! So, here’s your chance right now… Stop me with your dishonorable actions and prove just how fucking dark your soul is!”

I inched close to his face, fuming with intensity as I squeezed his hand harder.

“Or show some dignity and fight for it like a man.”

He continued to stare me down, his jaw tensing as he was contemplating his forthcoming actions. He took another drag of his cigarette and I could feel he wasn’t willing to compromise with me. I heard the gun click and felt his finger twitch at the trigger. Was this to be a death within a possible death? Suddenly, I could feel his hands loosen and with a sigh of relief I pulled mine away. He allowed the gun to fall to his side as he pondered for a moment. I allowed him to dig deep within his conscience and find reason.

“Obviously, each of us have our own agendas. I suggest we split ways, Mister. You take your own path and I take my journey elsewhere. However wise you may be, I believe I have learned more than you in my journey and will discover the Kingdom first. If we cross paths within its walls, then so be it… I will have no other option than to prove that I am nature’s beast.”

Best thing this guy has said yet! I shrugged and smirked to his idea, acting as if I didn’t care, but the gun in his hand kept me suspicious.

“Sounds fine to me…”

I extended my hand, which he accepted with a wink. I could sense the respect, but the distinct difference of morals would eventually tear us apart anyway.

“So long, old owl.”

He looked around the surrounding section of the forest until deciding which way to go. He took a deep breath and off he went, disappearing into the tall trees. I tried to wrap my head around what had just transpired but… All I could ask myself was:

“Why did I even bother with the advice of a smoker…?”

Chapter Three:
A Mad Threesome

As I traveled through the diminishing fog, I finally found myself a new route to take in this massive forest. After Rupert, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Could it possibly get any crazier? Foreshadowing at it’s best…

In the distance I heard a commotion of some sort, leaving me with an uneasy feeling that maybe I shouldn’t bother? But that seemed to be unavoidable considering the commotion was taking place just a bit down the same path I was traveling. I’ll just ignore it… Pass it by and act as if I see or hear nothing. I can’t afford the distractions right now. Yet, my curiosity was peeking the closer I got. And not to mention, the forest was growing sunny and rather pleasant. I wasn’t choking on smoke anymore and the trees seemed more peaceful and alive. Surely I’m going the right way? Unless it’s just another deceptive trip to throw me off course?

“I AM AN EVIL MOTHERFUCKER! FEAR ME!!! MUAHAHAHA!!!”

“AAAAAHHHHHHAAAAHAHAHAHA!!!!”

I was so close that the bass of the shouting rattled my eardrums. I couldn’t tell if there was an argument or if these people were just angry in general.

“What the…?”

Around the trees I could see a long table, stretching further than I could see so far. I kept traveling along, examining the situation at the corner of my eyes while trying to keep focus on my own journey. Finally, the whole table came into view. There were pots, cups, empty alcohol bottles, pills strewed everywhere. Is this a damn meth lab?! And at the end of the table were three people… Three people I recognized, and I felt my stomach turn when I realized who they were.

“DRINK THE BLOODY BREW YOU CUNT!!”

Eva was dressed in a long, black, gothic gown and staring down Raze who was sitting across the table from her. Jericho was wearing a huge hat and had a bunch of knives, pictures, and dolls all in front of him. Sitting at the very end of the table was Leon, passed out face-first in a pile of pills. I couldn’t help but crack a smile at the trio, considering their relationships in the real world and it being brought into this whole scenario. I finally began to cross the table, hoping to squeeze by unnoticed. Jericho was grunting and mumbling to himself, as he usually tends to do. Eva began to play with a large razor blade and humming some odd tune to herself. I figured they were all distracted in their own little world and just as I thought I was going to pass them…

“YOU!!”

I paused as Raze darted an evil look at me. I pointed to my chest and gave him a curious expression.

“Me…?”

“YES! YOU! I know you…”

“You must be mistaken. I just arrived here! I’m only a traveler.”

He gave me such a suspicious reaction and squinted his eyes. Eva faked a smile through her mascara covered face.

“Please, love, come join us for a brew! I would love the company, love! We all need company, love. Could you be my company, love?”

“Uh… I really have something important to attend to, miss.”

“I know you…”

“No… I promise you, you don’t.”

“I want to get to know you, love!”

She licked her lips in a seductive, yet scary way, giving me such an uncomfortable feeling that all I could do was pretend a laugh. Jericho suddenly bursted out as he saw Eva interact with me.

“I SAID I KNOW YOU, SO SIT YOUR FUCKING ASS DOWN OR ELSE I’LL CUT YOU!”

He waved a knife at me with a twisted grin. This guy is fucking mad! And yet, it was nothing out of the ordinary for me. So, I decided to play the game and approached the table.

“How do you know me, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I’m not sure. I just do. The voices tell me I do. I can’t ignore the voices, you know?”

The voices? Apparently the inhabitants of this forest are all crazy!

“Uh…………?”

“Would you have a brew, love?”

I smiled at Eva as she gave me a desperate smile in return. I tried my best not to be rude because, let’s face it, they’re all OUT OF THEIR FUCKING MINDS!!

“I think I’ll pass, thanks.”

She gave me a deadly stare and began to pour a cup anyway.

“I made it myself, love. You sit, now. Have a cup, love.”

“I really don’t want to intrude…”

“Love… DRINK MY BLOODY BREW OR I’LL SLIT MY FUCKING THROAT AND GUSH BLOOD ALL OVER YOUR PRETTY FACE!!!”

Her voice pierced through my body and I immediately took a seat while she raised the razorblade to her throat. Fucking nut! As I took a chair, she slid a cup my way and gave me a crazy smile. I examined the contents and raised an eyebrow at the oddly colored “brew”. Jericho turned to my direction and leaned closer to me.

“Let me apologize for my friend, here. She tends to get carried away about her tea. Don’t let her frighten you, though! She really only does harm to herself. It‘s kind of fun to watch, actually! A bit few screws loose, if you know what I mean?”

Raze manically laughed and started to stab a couple of the pictures on the table in front of him. I chuckled nervously, trying not to push any of his buttons. Once he finished his stabbing craze, he looked at me again.

“I do know you, though.”

“I must have amnesia, perhaps?”

“You get that, too?! I killed a man once and now I don’t even remember that I did it! Ooops! Say, do you know this fucking bitch?”

He then raised what appeared to be a voodoo doll up, resembling that of Nikita Fortune. I shook my head immediately.

“Never met her in my life…”

“Lucky bastard! I’m going to kill her someday…”

With that, he pulled out a lighter and placed it below the doll’s feet. The fire started to catch on the doll as he began laughing again. I was rather horrified at this point and lost myself in my own thoughts until:

“MY LIFE IS SO BLOODY DEPRESSING I CAN’T POSSIBLY REST NOW!! I MUST DROWN MYSELF IN BREW AND PILLS!!”

Leon was so quiet until that point that his presence startled me. He shot his head up, pills stuck to his face and tears pouring down his cheeks. Corbin stared me down with his bloodshot eyes.

“I’m… Sorry?”

“SORRY?! NOT HALF AS BLOODY FUCKING SORRY AS I AM! LOOK AT ME! I’M A WRECK! I’M HOPELESS! I WANT ME SOME BLOODY BOOZE!! But they won‘t let me… IT MAKES ME DO CRAZY THINGS!”

He began to cry hysterically, plowing his face back into the pile of pills. Eva rubbed his back and gave him some comforting hushes to try and calm him down.

“Now-now, love, everything will be ok. Just have some of me brew instead, love! So delicious. How do you like your brew, love?”

She gave me that freaky smile again as I gripped my cup and pretended to take a sip.

“Mmmmm…”

“That’s right, love… Drink it all up like a good lad. Mmmm…”

Raze leaned back over for a moment to bring the attention back to him.

“Again, I apologize. Now, back to business. I know you. And there’s a reason you’re here right now. I feel it in my fucking blood, man! The voices are whispering to me that this is some sort of sign. That we’ve come full circle and shit‘s about to hit the fan!”

“I wasn’t aware that we even had a circle…”

He slammed his fists on the table, rattling the cups, bottles and pills, making me jump a little as well.

“WE FUCKING DO, OKAY?!”

With that, he grabbed one of his knives and held it close to his chest, cuddling it as if it were a newborn child. I could only watch on in such a stunned horror… I felt like I was apart of the Hewitt’s dinner table!

“We do… And the planets are aligning for this meeting. Divine intervention is sitting at my table right now! The voices tell me that you and I are to finish what we started. That… Are you fucking threatening me?!”

“Uh… No? I haven’t done a thing to you.”

Raze darted the blade towards my direction, pointing it at me as he shouted furiously.

“LIAR! THE VOICE SAID YOU WANT ME DEAD!”

“I don’t even know you, why would I want you dead?”

“SHE SENT YOU, DIDN’T SHE?!”

“Who…?”

“QUEEN STRIFE! That fucking bitch has a bounty out for me! Her bloody Slavemen keep trying to get me! Are you one of them?!”

He tried to swipe the knife at me with that accusing tone of his, and I took a couple of scoots in my chair in order to back away in defense.

“Dude, I swear I’m not! I just arrived here! I don’t even know what this place is!”

“I don‘t fucking believe you…”

Suddenly, Eva mumbled to herself, loud enough for everyone to hear what she said, but quiet enough to make you second guess yourself.

“Bloody idiot is always provoking everyone…”

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY YOU WENCHY GOTH?!”

He began to point the knife at her now! I swear to God, if I ever come across these three in the same vicinity again, I’m going to run like a mad man!

“Don’t you raise your voice at me, love!”

Surprisingly, Jericho lowered the knife and smiled at her, calming himself down immediately.

“Oh right, I’m sorry… Where are my manners, dear? Could you please shut your fucking trap? Christ, man, you need to shove something in that mouth of yours and put it to better use!”

“I can’t believe I ever cared about you…”

He was striken with shock and completely turned a 360 with his attitude, showing a now tender side.

“You care about me? Wow... I... I... I’ve kept a little secret to myself as well…”

Just at that, Kandi emerged behind me! I was beyond relieved what I saw her angel-like stature take a seat between Raze and I. She smiled warmly at me while the other two squabbled amongst themselves.

“You got trapped at this table, I see?”

“Unfortunately. They‘re a pretty violent group.”

“They tend to do that from time to time. You just have to pick the right moment to disappear.”

I chuckled lightly at her words, seeing as she might not have realized another meaning hidden in there.

“Well, it doesn’t seem to come as easily with me as it does for you!”

She giggled as she normally would, which brought a huge smile to my face. So far, she’s been the only hope I’ve had in this asylum of a forest. Damn… Maybe I am in an asylum and Kandi is my vision of a nurse trying to help me! It would make sense after all…

“Worry not, Sean. They’ll all be at each other’s necks in a moment. It happens quite often, so you can just slip out unnoticed!”

Our attentions went back to the argument at the table, figuring out the perfect timing to make an escape without being threatened to sit back down.

“Please, baby… Forgive me! I didn’t mean to…”

“NO, LOVE! It’s too late! I’ve found another…”

A very random “DUN-DUN-DUUUUN!!!” emerged from… Well, I don’t even know where! But it was very fitting for this revelation. I thought Eva was always a bit of a… Loner… If you get my drift?

“WHAT?! NO! NO, YOU FUCKING SLUT!! WHO ARE THEY SO I CAN KILL THEM?!”

Leon then perked up in a rage, standing to his feet and throwing pills all up in the air.

“DON’T YOU TALK TO MY WOMAN LIKE THAT!!”

My jaw DROPPED! Even Kandi was taken back by the revelation. We both stared on, suddenly interested in the soap opera laid before our eyes! Did he… Really just say that?!

“What…?”

“Oh my…”

Raze was in more shock than anyone, however. He was shaking his head as if he had heard the dumbest thing anyone could possibly say.

“YOU?! FUCKING… YOU?!”

“Yes.”

Leon confidently replied and slowly took a seat again.

“B… Bu… But… YOU LIKE MEN! YOU'RE AS QUEER AS THE PIXIE FARIES! WHAT THE FUCK?! EVA?! EVA!! ARE YOU PACKING?!”

She was taking a drink of her brew at the point of the question, as if she wasn’t aware of what he meant. Eva looked up from her cup to respond.

“Packing what, love?”

Corbin went back to his rampage as he slammed his fists into the table a few times and stared Jericho down, rage in his voice as he shouted at him.

“I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO BLOODY LOVE ME! AND IF YOU CAN’T ACCEPT THAT, THEN BUGGER OFF YOU BITCH!!”

He continues his fit by grabbing one of the teacups and launching it at Raze! But he dodged it as he tilted his head away. The cup came crashing into Kandi’s face! The ENTIRE table grew silent! Even our heartbeats paused momentarily while Kandi took a second to shake the cobwebs. Leon slapped his hands on his cheeks in horror.

“Oh… My… God…!”

Kandi felt the cut created across her forehead and stared Leon down in shock.

“You hit me…”

“I didn’t mean to, I swear! I promise! I’m sorry, Kandi! I’m sorry! SORRY!!!”

The pleads went unnoticed by Kandi, who shook her head and slowly rose from her chair.

“You… Hit me…”

“I’m SO sorry! I love you! Please, give me another chance! I’m sorry!”

Kandi gave him the most unforgiving, feisty look I’ve ever seen. The cut on her forehead slowly began to drizzle down her face and she took a deep breath to keep herself from snapping.

“Goodnight, Leon…”

“NO DON’T GO, PLEASE! SORRY!”

He reached out to her, but she slowly started to vanish once more. Just as she was gone, Leon collapsed his face into the table again and started balling, calling himself many demeaning names. Raze jolted a cocky grin towards Eva.

“And you picked his whiney ass over me?”

“He understands my bloody emotions!”

“I wasn’t aware that suicide was an emotion?”

Through his sobbing, Leon shouted out in her defense.

“SHE IS NOT EMO!”

Eva gave him a confused expression and shook her head.

“No one said I’m emo, love…”

“Oh... Right...”

Raze quickly interrupted and threw one of his knives between the two of them.

“Do me a favor, the both of you. Slit your fucking wrists together!”

She laughed and clutched at her chest, giving Jericho a rather hearty sigh.

“Stop trying to turn me on, love. It won’t work anymore.”

“YEAH!”

“You stay out of this you fucking backstabber! You knew I loved her and yet you stole her away from me anyway?!”

“You never had me, love.”

Jericho shouted in return as he stood to his feet and leaned over the table.

“I WAS GOING TO FUCKING FORCE YOU, OKAY?!”

Leon perked his head up with such a kinky looking grin.

“You can force me…”

Maybe this was the exiting Kandi was talking about? These three obviously only care about each other, as odd of a triangle as it is. Seems no one else matters in the rest of the picture and watching their quarrel unfold made me realize that I can easily slide by without notice. Makes me wonder why I was intimidated to begin with? They’ll surely destroy each other in time…

“Don’t you touch me! I hope the both of you die miserable with each other!”

“Awww! That’s so sweet, love!”

“I want to die miserably right now.”

“Let’s do it, love!”

At this point, I have risen from my seat and crept my way away from the table, watching as Eva and Leon tongue each other, quite possibly being the most repulsive thing I've ever seen. Raze shouted his disapproval and hey continued to fight amongst each other while I managed to tip toe far enough in the distance to not be noticed, until finally I felt safe and free… THANK GOD! I could only shake my head in disbelief at what I had just experienced. It was time to get back on track, and it appeared as if I was! I found myself taking another new path, leading deeper into this assumed asylum. Could it get any worse than what I had just been through? Any crazier?! Damn, I hope not.

As I traveled along the way, I noticed that the trees began to show a bit of a golden color. The grass, the flowers, even the path itself were slowly turning into brass. I closed my eyes and stopped for a second while I braced myself for the upcoming adventure. And assuming what was coming up just ahead… Was bound to give me a headache for sure.

[Icon Lord Sean "Magic" Fiery]

Chapter Four:
Champadee and Champadum

This brass section of the forest continued to make my stomach churn and my head pound. It’s almost as if I could smell manure, but it definitely was not me! As I shuffled through the thick brass brush I noticed, hanging from one of the trees, was a large golden belt. It was the GZW2K1 World Heavyweight Championship! I immediately drew myself to it and plucked it off the branches to examine it thoroughly. Much to my surprise, the belt had a tag on it. I read it out loud:

“A good luck gift… To Sean, from Kandi.”

I smiled wide at the offering and gladly took the belt. It felt very nice and made me feel rather appreciated. With the belt now in my possession, I confidently continued my path, still examining the brass nature around me. I then reached a large empty patch within this section of the forest and noticed small table. Thankfully, unlike the previous table, this one was empty of existence. There were a few water bottles and some light snacks. Considering how far I’ve traveled… It’s been roughly an hour… I was growing slightly drained, so the beverages and food were a much needed delight. Just as I reached the table, I grabbed myself one of the bottles of water and screwed the top off.

However, something struck me in the face the second I brought the bottle to my lips! It felt like a punch! I searched around the area in frustration, trying to figure out who had hit me, but all was oddly quiet. Maybe that was in my head? My jaw is in pain from what had gone on in the real world, afterall. Could have just been a sharp reminder of my injury? Then… BAM! Another punch! Someone was sneaking up on me dammit! This time I was rattled and knocked to a knee. I shook off the pain, but my anger only grew.

“WHO THE HELL WAS THAT?!”

And BAM! Another fucking punch! There’s no way that one person is that quick! I scurried around the area, demanding for someone to come out. All was silent as I kept my guard. I allowed myself to focus and try to catch the culprit. Suddenly, I heard some of the brass twigs shuffle behind me, so I quickly dodged out of the way! Just as they brushed past me, I noticed that there were two of them! They collided into one another and crashed to the ground.

“OOOF!!”

“GAH!!”

I rose quickly, holding my fists up and ready to fight. As they untangled from each other, I began to realize who they were. Twins. But that’s not the worst part… No… They were John Champa. TWO… John Champas?! One was bad enough! No wonder my stomach and head tingled earlier. My senses were warning me that this pile of manure from the real world had duplicated into twins.

“Excuse me… But can you please explain… WHY THE FUCK YOU’RE HITTING ME FROM BEHIND?!”

The Champa twins stared at me cautiously, then looked at one another and shrugged. They seemed too retarded to come up with a proper answer, so I decided to interrogate further.

“Who are you two?! Why are you attacking me for no reason?!”

“I am Champadee…”

“Duh… And I am Champadum!”

“We attacked You because…”

“…WE WANT THAT FUCKING BELT OF YOURS!!!!”

I cringed at the unnecessary shouting and held up a hand for him… Them… To stop.

“Sorry, but the belt is mine. If you wanted it, I would have gladly given you the fair opportunity to win it from me. But since you’ve decided to play so cheaply, I’ll leave you with nothing.”

“Fair?”

They both looked confused at what I had just said. Then, they began to laugh like annoying little hyenas.

“We don’t Play fare!”

“That’s just dumb!”

“No… I’m dum.”

“YOU SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH!!”

“NO! I AM THE GREATEST BETWEEN US! YOU SHUT UP!”

“NO! YOU…….!”

“YOU!”

“YOU, YOU STUPID FUCKING BITCH!”

“I’M NOT A BITCH………… YOU’RE A BITCH, YOU BITCH!”

I slapped my forehead and slowly dragged my hand down my face. I think I’ve lost a few brain cells in the presence of these two! Becoming irritated with their bickering, I attempted to interrupt.

“LISTEN! Neither of you stand a chance at getting this belt from me now that my back isn’t turned and I’m expecting you. So give it up and let me be on my way. I have an important mission to accomplish. So… Bye.”

They both gave me such dumbfounded stares as I tried to walk away from this brass meadow. Just as I thought I might slide by without any further interaction, they whipped themselves in front of me, keeping me from leaving.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“Uh… Away from you two.”

“I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO PASS!! YOUR FARYTAIL ENDS RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOOOOOWWWWWW!!!”

I eyed the two, back and forth, and gave them a very frustrated sigh.

“I’m not in the mood… Step aside or I’ll fuse your heads together. Maybe then you’ll have half a brain between you two to make some more logical decisions.”

“I’LL KNOCK YOUR ASS OUT, BITCH!”

“YEAH! AND I’LL TAKE YOU DOWN TO HELL WITH ME!”

“AND THEN WE’LL END YOUR DAMN CAREER!”

“AND LAY THE SMACKDOWN ON YOUR…”

Champadee… Or Champadum, I can’t tell the damn different. Either way, one retard jabbed the other in the ribs to keep him from finishing his line.

“We’re not using that one anymore, remember?”

“Damn lawsuits! I wanted to get froggy on this bitch’s ass!”

“Let’s make Him our Little bitch right now!”

I cleared me throat and subtly tried to say my piece.

“Excuse me…”

That failed, however, and they continued on as usual.

“We can hoover over him like lions And eat his sole!”

“And then we can send his ass to hell!”

“You already said you’d do that…”

Champa again gave me a confused stare.

“Oh… Well…………… HOW ABOUT WE… Uh………..?…??”

“We can steal his championship Belt!”

“YEAH! GIVE IT TO US BITCH!”

I rolled my eyes and darted my eyes back and forth between them once more.

“Can I ask you two something?”

“Is it a comp… Complak… HARD QUESTION!?”

“Yeah, we don’t like Hard questions.”

“Well, what’s the difference between you two? I mean, you both seem pretty identical in every single thing you do. How can I tell you apart?”

They looked at each other and shrugged.

“I Like chocolate…”

“…………..And I like Vanilla?”

“HEY! ME TOO!”

“HIGH FIVE!!”

I could only raise my eyebrows at the idiocy of these characters and shook my head.

“Wow… Well, I’m going to give my opinion on you two. You’re cowards… Afraid of true confrontation. Not just to face challenges, but to face the fact that you’re never going to break out of your own comfort zones. I think you’re both unoriginal, uninteresting, and uninspiring.”

“AND UNSTOPPABLE, UNTOUCHABLE, AND… And…….?”

“...REALLY REALLY GREAT!”

“No. You’re just boring. Get some real material that isn’t pulled out of your fucking toilets and find some damn creativity that stretches beyond what you see from others. And for GOD’S SAKE… STOP SAYING BITCH!”

“……”

“……"

“…Bitch…”

I screamed like a madman at them, bringing them to take a couple of steps back in a rather horrified state.

“Do you even know the definition of IMPROVEMENT?!”

One of them steps forward with such confidence that I was almost sure he’d know… Almost.

“Improvement is when… I’M WOOPIN YOUR BITCH ASS AND KNOCKING YOU OUT!!”

“OOOOH DAAAAAAMN!!!”

The other Champa celebrates with his twin on the “mad burn”. They exchange high fives and proud smiles, while I stand there wondering where Rupert is so I can beg him to shoot me in the head.

“Ok-ok-ok-ok… So you’re hopeless. I get it, and that’s fine, but don’t you dare try to pretend to be something you truly never will be. Neither of you could whoop my ass until I couldn’t see it coming and was distracted by something far more important than either of you will be. And your verbal interactions are completely ridiculous. Learn to tone it down… To be a little more patient and not scream for the whole I’M BOLD factor. It doesn’t make you any more intimidating. Matter a fact, it makes you look like a monkey with turrets.”

“Bitch, please…”

“No. NO!! You shut your fucking mouth right now and LISTEN to ME! Ok? I’ve already dealt with four people in this cryptic forest that are obviously hopeless and unwilling to break away from their insecure sense of madness. Now I see you, the dunces around these parts, and I want to rip my hair out! I can’t fathom your stupidity and if I dare tried… Well, I’d be asking for a lifetime membership in this nature’s asylum here! So go take a vacation… Learn a few new things… Read some fucking books! If you can you read? Do you even know what the term grammar means? Proper word structures? Punctuations? How to avoid run-on sentences…? Do you know how to become something that‘s not so… You?”

“Well…”

“I KNOW HOW TO KNOCK YO BITCH ASS OUT BITCH!”

“YEAH! CHOKE ON THAT, PUNK!”

They bump chests and celebrate their “mad diss” while I continue on with my lecture.

“And stop threatening everyone every single chance you get. Provoking people at the right times for the right reasons are fine… But you just have to be the first to start something, don’t you? Eventually, you’re going to get your foot shoved in your mouth and shunned from this village for good. You’ve got it so easy and yet you don’t take advantage of the opportunity to make something more of yourself. If you wanted my belt so badly, just ask… Because stealing something that is not yours… That’s like stepping on a landmine and now you’re stuck there for a few moments until you make one wrong move. Then… Boom. It’s all gone, just like that.”

I took a pause to let them try and comprehend what I had said.

“So, are you going to make the right move and get out of my way…?”

Slowly, I poked my head just between both of theirs, glanced back and forth, then whispered in their ears.

“Or boom?”

I stepped back, folding my arms across my chest and waited for them to have an answer. They began to whisper to one another, contemplating what to do. Finally, they both stare at me, then split apart, creating an open path for me to walk by.

“After you…”

“…Bitch…”

All I could do was smirk and bow my head in a sarcastic appreciation. Without wanting to spend any more time with Champadee and Champadum, I squeezed past them and started to make my way out of this brass meadow. Too good to be true, right?

“Hey bitch!”

I growled and snapped back around.

“What?!”

Suddenly, I became blinded as one of them threw dirt in my face! I stumbled around, trying to wipe away from sandy contents, but I knew that they were about to go for their next move. And surely enough, the other struck me in the jaw with brass knuckles. I collapsed momentarily while they both worked together to rip my belt away from me.

“I’M THE GREATEST WORLD CHAMPION EVER!!!”

I could barely see them, but I noticed that their celebration slowly turned into an argument.

“I CAME UP WITH THE PLAN, BITCH!”

“I THREW DIRT IN HIS FACE!”

“I KNOCKED HIM OUT!”

“You two are greedy pieces of crap. You know that? Even amongst yourselves, you can‘t accept the success of anyone else so you have to steal it all away.”

They came to a screeching halt and stared me down.

“Greatness doesn’t take the time to earn things.”

“Damn right! Talent or skill don’t matter…”

“We just take what we want at the right time!”

“And next… We’re going for the Lord’s crown!”

“AND THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP US, BITCH!”

“NOTHING!!!”

They then began to run off into the distance with my belt in their possession. I merely laid there on the ground, trying to keep myself from snapping at the pure idiocy of the Champa twins. Just as I felt like screaming, I saw a hand reach out to me. It was Kandi’s! I looked up to see her smiling down at me and I accepted her hand to help me to me feet.

“Sorry about them, Sean. I should have told you to stay away from this section. Those two give everyone a headache.”

I rubbed my chin and cracked a smirk at her.

“I wish you would have! Sadly, I don’t think the worst has yet to come, has it?”

She giggled and smiled wide while I dusted myself off.

“We should make the rest of this journey together. I think we both have a common goal to come out of this.”

“You’re going for the Lord’s crown as well?”

“Whatever it takes to help the Kingdom… To bring peace back to that throne… Let it be done.”

I nodded my head in agreement and couldn’t help but smile at the last line. With that, we began the journey to the Kingdom together, making small talk along the way. I was hoping not to run into any more distractions on the way there, but there’s obviously no predicting this forest. Especially when we reach the palace itself… Now that’s where chaos is really going to ensue. Good thing I have Kandi with me for the help.

But I couldn’t help but wonder the doubts. How far is she going to help me? And the way things have been happening here already… I’m not sure if trust is the right thing to take lightly. I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt, however, because I need some allies if I want to make it to the Kingdom… No less the crown.

Chapter Five:
Timothy‘s Trial

Kandi and I had been walking for what seemed to be an hour. Thankfully, we didn’t run into many distractions other than the odd scenery we’ve seen along the way. Everything from petrified sections to a rainforest atmosphere, all in the matter of passing through another pathway. I wasn’t sure where we were at this point or if we were even close. I kept crossing my fingers that Kandi really knew where we were going.

“So, how much further do we have to go?”

“That’s difficult to answer.”

Huh? Is she saying that she has no idea?! Great! The blind leading the blind! I tried to have faith, however, because I wanted out of this damn place! It’d be nice to even reach the Kingdom, to at least know that we’ve made progress.

“Why do you say that?”

“Well, this forest is always shifting and changing. You could mark all of the paths you want, track your steps and try to figure it all out, but they never work out. You simply have to follow your gut instinct.”

“So we just keep walking until we find it, basically?”

“Yes and no. Sometimes we’re all summoned to the Kingdom at the Lord’s request, and you’ll simply appear there.”

Which made me wonder… Kandi can come and go as she pleases, it seems. I wonder if she can just… Appear there as well. And if so, why is she bothering with me? Unless she’s just been invisible the whole time and following me? I ask too many questions…

“Appear there?”

“Yeah… Teleported, if you want to put it into geeky terms.”

“I see… I think? When does the Lord usually decide this?”

“Usually when he has important announcements, wants people to entertain him or do his bidding, to have trials, interrogations, or simply for the fact that he likes to shove his power in everyone’s face. And then… When he doesn‘t need you around anymore… You go back to your place. That‘s why certain people and groups have just made base at a specific location within the forest, that way they don‘t get lost and even if they do get to the Kingdom eventually and bother the Lord, he will send them right back to where he believes they belong.”

“So where’s your place?”

She looked in the distance and sighed.

“I don’t have one anymore…”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… I’ve already found my place. I’ve seen it all, done it all, and now I just want to find peace. I want new adventures and new experiences, and I feel that I‘ve pretty much done everything I could here.”

It then hit me that the last piece of her puzzle was what we were in search of.

“Except help bring peace to the land?”

“Is there such a thing? The biggest constant I’ve noticed is that someone will always terrorize the innocent, be it those in power or those scrounging at the very bottom. But I’d rather know that I tried, instead of leaving this place to burn…”

We remained silent for a while as we cut through some thick weeds. She was right and I knew it… Peace will never fully exist. But it’s better to defend it than to allow it to expand. Then, randomly, I chuckled as an idea came to mind.

“Maybe we should do something ridiculous that would force this Lord to take us to the Kingdom?”

“There’s no point in that…”

My eyebrows raised as I gave Kandi an inquisitive look.

“Why’s that?”

She smiled wide and stopped in her tracks.

“Because… We’re already there.”

There?! FINALLY! I looked around with anticipation, trying to see the Kingdom for myself. But all I saw was a big wall of shrubbery and an entrance into what appears to be a maze. My excitement turned into frustration quickly.

“There?! Where?! This looks like a labyrinth to me!”

“It is, but this labyrinth is the entrance to the Kingdom. Once you get through this, then you’ll reach the gates.”

“And what happens when we get there…? IF we get there?”

Kandi gave me such a cute smile and replied in with an answer that would normally come from my mouth.

“We knock.”

I shook my head and smirked at her sense of humor. Realizing that this is probably our only chance to get there, we entered the labyrinth and followed our intuition. Hopefully that would guide us, or else this maze might lead to places or things that I’m not quite interested in dealing with…

As we walked along the twists and turns of this crazy contraption, we saw many odd things along the way. Pills strewn about with empty prescription bottles shoved into the shrub. Tattered and torn teddy bears here and there. Journal notes ripped the shreds that covered the ground in some areas. There were even small packs of sheep that passed us by, as if they’re attempting to find the Kingdom as well! After so long, I began to wonder if we’ve even made any progress. I swear I was seeing the same things over and over again. Maybe that’s the trick? Or what Kandi was speaking about earlier, how everything shifts? I just had to keep following my instinct.

Finally, we saw something new! It was a life-sized puppet with his strings cut into the shrubbery. I couldn’t tell if it was alive or just another decoration, until it came begging to us.

“Oh, thank god! Please! Please, get me out of here! I’ve been stuck in this stupid maze for so long!”

“And why should we help you?”

“I know how to get back to the Kingdom! You see, I’m stuck! I can’t get back if I’m stuck!”

He tugged at his strings and gave us a desperate look. Kandi and I shrugged and worked on getting his strings untangled and out of the shrub.

“So, who are you anyway?”

“Timothy The Knave.”

“That’s a strange name…”

“Yeah, well, I used to serve the former Lord as his noble guard, but the new Lord has transformed me into… This. I’m just a puppet to him now. DANCE!! He says… DANCE!!”

After a couple of more tugs, we freed Timothy. He quickly began to reveal his excitement by flexing and showing off his muscles.

“But I’m still dead sexy and buff! Check out my sweet triceps, dude! And my abs! OOOH YEAAAAAAH!!!!!”

Kandi and I gave him odd stares, not sure why he’s obsessing over himself so much all of the sudden. He might have lost his self respect, but apparently he’s hiding it with his workout regime. We should have left him tangled up…

“Right. Well, you’re free now. We really must be going, though. Try not to get stuck again!”

We started to continue our journey, but it didn’t take long until Timothy was right behind us and tapping my shoulder.

“Can I come with you guys?! Come on! Not only will you have my hard, chiseled body to gander at… But you have someone that can get you into the Kingdom!”

I looked at Kandi, not really wanting to trust him, but figured she’d know better. She merely shrugged, leaving the decision up to me. After taking a second to contemplate, I sighed and turned to this Knave.

“Fine…”

“OOOOOH YEEEEEEEAAAAAAH!!!”

He pumped his arms up and down with an intense nature. I rolled my eyes, fearing this as a bad idea, but figured we needed someone to help get us into the Kingdom and he’s our best shot. We began to head off on our way and Timothy appeared very confident in where he was going. His annoying self-absorbed attitude aside, I guess we could send him our gratitude once he gets us there. Things seemed to be going smooth and I could even feel within my gut that we were getting close. But Timothy suddenly stopped and stared at a bush with plump berries emerging from the stems.

“Uh… Why are we stopping?”

“Dude… This is what I’ve been searching for for so long! I KNEW the Lord had them out here!”

“What are they?”

The Knave plucked one of the berries and brought it to his nose and took a big, intense whiff. As he quivered out an exhale, he told us.

“Steroid berries.”

Um, what?! Steroid berries?! This guy can’t be serious, can he? He appeared in ecstasy as his mouth watered.

“So you’re trying to tell us that you only wanted to find these berries? You weren’t even looking for the Kingdom?!”

He took a bite as juice squirted out all over the place. He savored the taste and rolled his eyes back into his head, as if he were having an orgasm.

“OOOOOOOH… YEEEEEAAAAH!! Mmmmmm… MMMMM-MMMM-MMMMMMM!!”

Suddenly, he burst out into a rage and started to shovel the steroid berries from the bush into his mouth. He was gobbling them down so quickly that I couldn’t even see him chew! Kandi and I looked on in a slight horror.

“I think you should take it easy with that, bud. Are you even sure it’s safe?! I don’t think it’s smart to jump into something you…”

“DO YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME, TOUGH GUY?! HUH?!”

“Uhhhh…?”

“I CAN FEEL MY MUSCLES BURNING!! OOOOOH YEAAAAH!!!”

“You should really…”

She was cut off, however, as an alarm started to sound off! Timothy panicked and shoveled even more berries into his mouth as if he were in a hurry.

“What’s that alarm for?”

“You keep your mouth shut! When they ask you happened, it wasn’t me!”

“Wasn’t you?! What did you…”

Just at that, the ground suddenly dropped out from under us! We all began to fall down his tunnel, sliding out way down this twisted path. It’s Timothy’s fault we’re in this situation, isn’t it?! Then, we reached the end of the slide and we came crashing into some strange looking room… A court room?! Timothy was immediately grabbed and taken off while Kandi and I were escorted towards a separate section.

“What the hell’s going on?!”

“Trial… We’ve been summoned.”

We sat down in a booth and I watched on as a whole bunch of people gathered into the courtroom. An audience as set in the back that seemed to be human forms of sheep, Timothy was placed into the perpetrator’s booth and then a group filed out into the juror’s section. There I saw people I recognized: Raze, Eva and Leon, still bickering between each other… Champadee and Champadum followed suit, along with a few others I didn’t recognize.

“Who are those other people?”

“Well… There’s Queen Strife, The Monarch of Butterflies, Kiddy Kaos, the ‘Siamese Twins’ Justin and Zachary, ‘The Great Blob’ Deacon, and the Prince of the Pixies, Vernon.”

“Wow. I guess there’s a lot more of this forest I didn’t see.”

“Consider yourself lucky…”

Then, I noticed Tyler Primus emerge into the room as well.

“And that’s the Lord’s guard.”

I put that together myself before she could say anything, though. Seemed appropriate enough.

“Everyone rise for YOUR honorable judge…”

A few snickers crackled around at the word “honorable”.

“…YOUR Lord… Seth Raide!”

On cue, everyone began to rise. Kandi had to jab me in the ribs to get me to stand up as well. I should have known! I had the feeling in the back of my head, but I didn’t want to come to terms with it! I was disgusted to stand for this man, but I figured it’d be safer to follow directions… For now. Lord Raide came out from a set of doors in the back and walked up to his large podium. He looked around the room in disgust and reached for his hammer, then slammed it a couple of times on his podium.

“Alright, sit down and shut the fuck up!”

We all sat at on command while Seth called Tyler to his podium to discuss with him in private. I looked over at Kandi and whispered:

“How the hell did he come in power?”

“He used to be from another land but was sent here on a mission to wreak havoc and terrorize us all. We did all we could to stop him and we thought we finally got rid of him when the previous Lord exiled him after a quick trial, claiming him too insane for the Kingdom.”

“Too insane?! Compared to the ones I’ve met already?!”

“Yeah, well, things weren’t like that before he came into power. Seth found a way back into the Kingdom and eventually… He came after the Lord’s crown in an act of vengeance. The previous Lord sent his best knights to try and stop him, but Seth proved to be as malicious as he claimed himself as. Eventually… He got to the Lord and demanded him to turn over his power or die. The Lord refused to bow to this man, so they battled… And Seth did what he said he would do. He killed the Lord and took the crown and bestowed upon himself the power that came with it.”

“Who was the other Lord?”

“His name is forbidden. If spoken, you face immediate execution.”

Our discussion was cut off as Lord Raide slammed his hammer down again. This signaled the entrance of Rupert Martin, smoking as usual, and cutting across to the middle of the room. He looked up at Lord Raide and bowed his head.

“What brings us here today, my Lord?”

“I’m accusing this fucking puppet here of stealing my steroid berries!”

“Very well then.”

Rupert walked up to Timothy and looked at him for a moment, examining the juicy contents on his face.

“What have you been eating, Timothy?”

“My momma made me some blueberry pie! I swear!”

“Hmmm… I see…”

Martin shook his head and walked over to the juror’s section to speak to them.

“Mr. Knave here claims that he was eating his mother’s blueberry pie! That is certainly a reasonable excuse, considering how delicious blueberry pie is! Who would not want to gobble it all up and savor its sweet flavor? But the information that seems to be lacking from this scenario is the fact that… Mr. Knave here has no parents.”

“I OBJECT!”

“To what?”

“To… Everything!”

Rupert calmly walked up to Timothy’s booth and leaned against the podium.

“You appear to be growing quite the mass of muscles, Mr. Knave. How did that come to be?”

“I have an awesome work-out program! Whole natural! FEEEL THEM! THEY‘RE ROCK SOLID! OOOOH YEAAAAH!!”

“I would rather not. But what strikes me as peculiar is that you are a mere puppet. How does a puppet exercise unless he has been told?”

Lord Raide then screamed out immediately.

“OFF WITH THE FUCKER’S HEAD!!!”

Rupert smiled up at the Lord and took a drag of his cigarette.

“Please be patient, sir.”

Seth gave him a dirty look, then dipped back into his chair.

“Now, Timothy, as I was saying: Puppets tend to follow orders. That is your job, after all. But it is obvious how much you enjoy to present yourself as this chiseled, masculine figure. Lord Seth Raide, apparently, will not allow you the time to work out. So, instead of disobeying his orders, you simply take the easier route and you delve into the steroid berries to quicken the process. You know that these berries are highly forbidden and are for use only to the Lord, correct?”

“I OBJECT!”

“To what?”

“To… EVERYTHING!”

“Well, perhaps we should ask the witnesses, then?”

“I OBJECT AGAIN!”

Rupert ignores the accused Knave and walks over to the witness booth where Kandi and I are.

“Did Mr. Knave here eat Lord Seth Raide’s steroid berries?”

We both look at each other and shrug.

“I don’t see what the big deal is about these berries anyway…”

From the juror’s section, Leon pops out of his sleep and points across the room at Kandi.

“SHE’S MANIPULATING THE COURT! SHE’S TRYING TO GET EVERYONE TO SEE HER SIDE! KANDI IS A LIAR, DON’T BELIEVE HER! SHE’LL TURN EVERYONE YOU LOVE AGAINST YOU!”

Raide slams his hammer down to shut Leon off as he stares him down. Kandi rolls her eyes and folds her arms across her chest.

“I can’t deal with this foolishness.”

And at that, she slowly vanishes! Dammit! She left me here alone! What am I supposed to do now?! I need to figure out a way to get to the crown. This court session is only slowing me down.

“So, Mister? Did Timothy eat the steroid berries or not? You were a witness at the time, surely you saw his every action?”

“Honestly, I don’t even know where I am. I don’t know any of you people to hold judgments! Why should I bother putting anyone in danger or even helping them? It’s my opinion that you’re all crazy and should be locked away…”

Many people gasped as Seth rose from his seat and stared angrily across the room at me.

“Who the fuck ARE you, anyway?! I don’t remember you being one of my peasants!”

“I’m Sean… I was brought here from another world by a rabbit.”

Seth looked at me suspiciously.

“Rabbit?! And what, exactly, did this rabbit tell you? Why the fuck are you here?!”

“The rabbit delivered me a message and led the way. I’m just here for your crown…”

The room went absolutely nuts! They couldn’t believe I had said that to him! Raide slammed his hammer down viciously as he began to fume at me.

“AND WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN TAKE MY FUCKING CROWN?!”

I could tell that I might have made a mistake blurting out my plans like that in the open. I needed a distraction, quick! Then, I saw Timothy sitting in his booth, smiling and cheering Raide on to get me.

“HE ATE THE STEROID BERRIES!”

All the attention was brought back to Timothy, who gave me the deadliest stare I’ve seen yet!

“OFF WITH THE FUCKER’S HEAD!!”

Tyler yanked the Knave out of his booth and started to drag him away to the doors, kicking and screaming.

“YOU STOLE MY CHANCE TO TAKE THE CROWN YOU BASTARD! IT WAS GOING TO BE MINE!!”

"As if you ever stood a chance anyway?! You have no right or business even trying! Consider this a favor!"

I shrugged and stepped out of the witness stand, then waved “bye” to him as Tyler pulled him through the doors. The entire courtroom was in a commotion over the situation, some discussing the execution of Timothy while others talked about my claims to take the crown. Lord Raide was still infuriated and began to slam his hammer down a few times again. He pointed in my direction…

“Next… IT'S OFF WITH YOUR FUCKING HEAD!”

I gulped and looked around the room while everyone focused on me. I was surrounded and had no real escape plans. I had to think quick… Or my head could very well be rolling.

Chapter Six:
The Lord‘s Crown

“Off with my MY head?! What about everyone else?! It seems like I’m not the only one after your crown…”

Seth came down from his podium while everyone else stared on, ready for something to go down between us. The Lord took a look around at everyone, taking into account what I had just revealed to him.

“Why am I to believe this shit? These fucking idiots know better than to come after me! I’ve slaughtered their former Lord and I’ll do the same to them!”

“Rupert, Raze, Eva… Champadee and Champadum… Kandi… Apparently you don’t know your peasants all that well, do you?”

Raide scowled at me and growled at the entire room.

“IS THIS TRUE?! DO YOU ALL WANT MY FUCKING CROWN?!”

No one speaks up, however, as those I mentioned sunk their heads to avoid contact with Seth’s eyes. He nodded his head in disgust, then screamed out:

“ALL OF YOU ARE ON TRIAL FOR TREASON! I WANT YOUR FUCKING HEADS ON MY WALL!!”

That didn’t bode well with everyone else, though, and they all began to shout their anger towards the corrupt and desperate Lord.

“GUARDS! GET YOUR FUCKING ASSES OUT HERE!”

Just as the guards came rushing out, chaos began to ensue. Everyone was fighting one another, trying to keep the guards off of them and escape the havoc. I heard a few of the others yell out that they’re coming after the crown, trying to threaten Raide as he made demands to his guards.

With everyone going crazy, I was trying to figure out an opening to get away. It was then I notice Kandi reappear back by a doorway. She waved at me to quickly slip over. Once I squeezed through the chaos, I rushed over to her.

“I know how to get to the crown and I want you to come with me. We can help each other, but once we do arrive at the crown… We’ll have to prove to one another who deserves it more.”

I couldn’t really pass the offer up, so we shook on it. This interaction didn’t go unnoticed, however, as Champadee… Or Champadum, whichever… Shouted out:

“They’re going after the crown!”

He pointed in our direction, which was instantly our cue to take off. Everyone began to push and shove their way towards the door and eventually, they managed to break through the guards and charged for us. Kandi and I quickly ran down the hallway as we heard them approaching from behind. This was it… It was finally time to end this journey and I could finally go home! I can’t let these people stop me now! I had too much faith in myself to fail.

“I DON’T THINK SO, BITCH!!”

Champadaa and Champadum somehow sped up and come from behind us. They both tripped our feet out from under us and started to take off ahead. Kandi and I were quick to our feet but watched on as the two darted in the distance. But suddenly, my previous theory about them came true, and we heard a commotion.

“IT’S MY CROWN, BITCH!”

“I DON’T THINK SO! I’LL KNOCK YOUR ASS OUT, BOY!”

“NOT IF I KNOCK YOURS OUT FIRST!”

“I WANT THE BELT TOO! HAND IT OVER!”

“HELL NO, BITCH!”

We noticed them fighting over the belt now, tugging it back and forth between one another. Kandi and I managed to sneak up on them and before they could realize it, we crashed their heads into one another! They tried to fight back, but Kandi noticed a cell nearby and made a nodding suggestion towards me. Once we got the upper hand of the fight, we pulled them both into the cell and quickly shut them in!

“LET US OUT!”

“THIS ISN’T FAIR!”

I could only smirk.

“Your own medicine doesn’t taste so well, does it?”

I grabbed the belt that they had dropped amidst the battle and winked at them. They quickly began to fight with each other in the cell, arguing over who screwed the plan up. Kandi began to take off down the hall, and just as I was about to follow in pursuit, Rupert Martin came crashing into me and tackled me to the ground. He started to blow smoke in my face in order to keep me grounded.

“Just stay down and be happy with what you have and let the rest of the world succeed!”

Through the coughing, I tried my best to respond.

“It’s not just for me! It’s for the benefit of the Kingdom! And I refuse to let you disrespect the crown!”

I shoved him off of me and we battled back and forth. I tried to trip him up and take him to the ground, but he slipped through and grabbed my head, then crushed my face into the wall! I staggered around as I felt a bit of blood drizzle from my nose. Rupert tried to come back at me, but I clothesline him down to the ground. As he was on his way back up I kneed him in the face. Thinking I’ve bought some times, I began to run back down the hall. I was a fool to leave him behind, however, as I heard a shot fire off in my direction! I ducked for cover, thinking I might get hit by the bullet. Just as I scrambled back to my feet, I turned around only to see Rupert standing in front of me, pointing the gun directly at my head.

“Mister, do not make me kill you. I respect what you are trying to do, but I will not allow you continue. It is very foolish of you to think you can save this Kingdom. It is a hopeless cause, so just give up! Please! Or I will be forced to pull this trigger!”

I wiped the blood from my nose and stared him down.

“I don’t get why you can’t just support the betterment of this place?!”

“Why should I? It has tormented me and pushed me into a state of insanity. I want that peace back, Mister! I have lost myself and I want to find my soul once again! If you can not comprehend what that means to a man, then so be it…”

I heard the gun click and I was sure that this was over. The bastard truly has no heart! Just as he was about to pull the trigger, I noticed that Eva and Raze were rapidly approaching him from behind! I ducked down and sure enough, Raze shoved Eva and smashed into Rupert’s back, forcing him to drop his gun! Eva and Raze continued on their way down the hall as Rupert scrambled to his feet for his gun. Finding this to be the perfect opportunity, I ran towards him, leaped in the air and kicked him square between the eyes. He fell backwards, smacking the back of his head into the ground. I heard a large group of people coming down the hallway and saw that it was the guards trying to stop everyone from getting to the crown. Quickly, I got back to my feet and ran down the hall. I kept looking over my shoulder, seeing Rupert attempt to crawl to his gun, but just as he did, the group of guards trampled over him! He was in the middle of a stampede! I didn’t have any time to react, however, as I pushed myself to reach the rest of the group ahead.

I finally saw Raze and Eva up ahead, trying to race each other side by side.

“WHY DON’T YOU JUST STAY THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY AND MY BUSINESS?!”

He shoves her into the wall and tries to hold her back into it. She kicks and screams at him, trying to break free of his grasp.

“Let go of me, love! I want that pretty bloody crown! It would look great while drinking brew!”

“Why?! You’ve already broken my heart! Now you want to steal this from me?!”

“If you keep standing in my way, love, I will kill myself!”

Raze simply shrugged and stood back, folding his arms across his chest.

“Then fucking do it, you bloody wench. I’m sick of trying to support you. So do me the biggest favor and slit your wrists!”

“FINE! I WILL, LOVE! YOU’LL HAVE THE BLOODY BLOOD OF MY HANDS ON YOU!!”

“Ok…”

She pulls out her razor blade in rage and screams loudly at Raze, who looks on with anticipation. Seeing that he doesn’t care, Eva began to tear up. She brought the blade to her wrist and sliced it upwards, wide open! I stopped running and kept my distance to catch my breath while at the same time, leaving them to destroy one another. Eva then cut the other wrist and dragged her now bloody hands all over Jericho. He chuckled and watched as she fell to his feet, crying. It didn’t take too long until she was passed out and eventually… Dead. Seeing the opening, I began to jog towards Raze. He notices me and smirks as I approach him.

“I told you things would come full circle! Here we are… Meeting again! Destiny set this in place and now… I’m going to fucking end this!”

Jericho reaches over to one of the decorations on the wall and pulls out a large sword from a shield. He looks at me with a sadistic smile. I looked around for a form of defense and surely enough, I saw a battle hammer on the wall as well. I lifted it out of its place and the two of us charged at each other. Our weapons collided as we went back and forth, trying to get the upper hand on the other. Just as I thought I had a nice opening, Raze kicked me in the chest, forcing me to stumble backwards and trip over Eva’s dead body! My hammer went flying ahead, which Raze kicked off to the side and stalked me with his sword.

“This is how things should have been a long time ago…”

He then held the sword to my throat and gave me that sadistic smile again.

“Any last words?”

“Behind you…”

Raze laughed and shook his head as I pointed behind him.

“Nice try.”

He went to bring the sword across my throat, but sure enough, there was someone behind him! It was Queen Strife’s Slavemen! They had slipped through one of the doors across the hallway and snuck up on Jericho. One of them grabbed him by the arms and pulled him back. Another slipped what seemed to be a bondage mask around his head and zipped it up tight. He attempted to struggle, but the power in numbers was far too large. The others began to wrap his legs up in chains and tripped him up. Once having him captured, they started to drag him off by the ankles as he was screaming and clawing at the ground. They pulled him into the doorway they emerged from and slammed it shut behind them. I couldn’t believe what had just happened, but I didn’t want to waste any more time pondering the situation.

I grabbed the hammer, got to my feet and began to head down the hallway again, knowing very well that the guards couldn’t be too far off behind me. Kandi was all that was left between us. Maybe she had already gotten to the crown? I actually wouldn’t be too disappointed if that were the case, but I still had to try. As I followed the path of the hall, I started to notice a golden shimmer in the distance. Once I got closer, I noticed it was a large golden door with large pillars to both sides of it. This was it! That has to be where the crown is! I pushed myself to hurry up and I finally approached the door. Just as I got there, however, someone came from behind the pillar. It was Seth Raide… Holding Kandi in front of him with a sword to her throat. I immediately stopped and dropped my hammer in a surrender.

“Please! Don’t hurt her! She didn’t do anything!”

Seth laughed and growled back at me.

“You’re such a fucking fool. Too weak to sacrifice some bitch for the greater good. Is she really worth it, Sean? Of course she is, because you’re fucking weak! Your stupidity amazes me…”

“Take me instead, then! Let her go! I’ll let you kill me if you free her!”

Raide laughed again and appeared to be ready to let her go while I held my hands in the air. Kandi was defiant, however, and spoke up.

“No.”

“NO?!”

“You’ve made enough sacrifices. Like I said, I want my peace and this is it. Take the crown and save the Kingdom… Rid it of this maniac!”

“NO!”

“Haha… So be it!”

Seth wasted no time and brought the sword up. Kandi left me with a large smile and wink and just as he was about to cut her head off… She disappeared! Seth was furious at this and looked around for her, then stared me down.

“I guess she's leaving you to the fucking slaughter… Never trust a bitch!”

I grabbed the hammer and quickly held it up in defense as he came at me with his sword. I managed to get the upper hand for a while as I was crushing at him with heavier blows that he couldn’t block well with his sword.

“You’ll never get to my fucking crown as long as I’m standing in your way!”

Turning the tide, he managed to slip around behind me. Just as I turned around, he brought the sword to my throat and pushed me back into the golden door.

“You came all this way only to fail. How fucking pathetic.”

I didn’t take his words very kindly and found the strength to bring my hammer up and jam it into his chest. He stumbled back and I brought the hammer down towards him. He managed to scoot back out of the way while I stalked him.

“I came all this way to survive! You need to be stopped! This Kingdom needs its freedom! And I will do whatever it takes to end it of your fucking rule!”

I tried to swing it at his head like a baseball bat, but he ducked down! The hammer collided into the wall and got stuck in the hole it created. I quickly tried to tug it out, but just as I did, he found and opening and swiped the sword at my chest. I dove backwards to avoid the slice, but was too late. He made a large cut cross my abdomen, stinging me with a pain that dropped me to a knee. He went back for the attack and dropped the sword towards my head. I tried blocking each blow with the hammer, but my arms grew tired and he brought the sword down one last time, knocking the hammer from my hands. He hovered above me, laughing in triumph while I looked up at him, realizing that this might be it.

“You’ve lost your fucking mind, thinking you could actually become Lord. And as a consequence… You’ll lose your fucking head!”

He brings the sword up while he grins. This is it… I’m done! But… BUT!! I noticed something drop at Seth’s feet! It was a dagger! Where the hell did it come from?! I didn’t have any time to really care about that yet, so in desperation I dove for the dagger, then quickly lunged it up at Seth and immediately stabbed it into his chest!

Raide looked down on me in absolute shock, then dropped his sword to his side. I pushed the dagger completely into his chest and watched on as he stumbled backwards a bit. I realized that this was the perfect chance to end this. So I grabbed the hammer just as he fell back into the wall, still stunned by the situation. I stood in front of him and watched him squirm in pain. Without waiting my longer, I stared him in his cold, gray eyes…

“Off with your fucking head…”

I then swung the hammer into his head, crushing it into the wall! I tried not to focus on the gore of it all, but I did look down at the dagger in his chest. Upon further examination, I realized that it had “PHOENIX” scrolled out along the handle. A smile came to my face as I realized that the dagger belonged to Kandi. I then turned towards the golden doors and approached them. I’m finally done! I hope…

I reached out for it and pulled on the handle. Just as I opened the door, a large explosion of light emerged from the room. I was blinded at first, but my eyes slowly adjusted as best as they could. I noticed that the light was coming from the crown! It was hovering in the middle of the room in a mystic form of beauty. As I walked deeper into the room and closer to the crown, I could start to feel alive again. This is finally it! What I’ve been searching for, right in front of my very eyes! I slowly reached out for it, cautious at first but growing warm to its beauty. My fingertips grow closer and closer until I touched it…

The golden light emitting from the crown bursts out, more brighter than ever before. I was taken back by the blindness and felt my breath stop. A warm tingle rushed through my body, my head began to grow light, and suddenly… I collapsed. All I could see was darkness and all I could feel was pain. I succeeded, didn’t I?! The crown was mine and the Kingdom was free! Why this sudden strike of darkness and pain?! And then it all came to me…

I was free...?