Letter(s) to the editor
Jun 17, 2013 12:59:07 GMT -6
Lord Kaos, Sir Chris Cairns, and 3 more like this
Post by Lone Gunman on Jun 17, 2013 12:59:07 GMT -6
The following was submitted to the "letters to the editor" section of this week's Hotwire Magazine:
Dearsir/madam,
Just Business. All Business. Only Business. Not even an intro. Just Business. I’m Clancy McClean: hello, you’re an idiot, shut up, listen, good bye, and good morning Vietnam. The end. On that note, let’s begin.
As Wrestler of the Month for January 2005 - and, indeed, Wrestler of the Year for 2005 itself – I feel obliged to say a few words about my upcoming Cash the Cheque CCW Triple Crown Heavyweight championship main event match at Fallout: Heatwave Ten X with Chris Cairns.
A lot of critics out there will make the (entirely valid) point that I’ve already beaten Chris Cairns. Live. On PPV. At a previous Heatwave show, at that. And look, there’s no disputing it. I have. It’s a matter of public record. I pinned Chris Cairns’ yellow-bellied shoulders to the mat after utterly humiliating the very essence of him in what was dubbed “a technical master-class” by an unnamed, though highly reputable and well-to-do Hotwire source. He cried like a little baby as I planted him in the middle of the ring with a stiff Imperial Impalement and I subsequently broke his jaw and knocked a piece of his eyebrow off with a scintillating big boot. But look, those are the boring old facts. Everybody knows that. As I said, it’s public record. Get over it, I know I have. Critics be damned – Cairns/McClean, the faceoff of the century, is going to happen.
I’d like to say that the bout is about “bragging rights”, but that would be bullshit of a similar quality to Creation Wrestling II’s televisual output. The world, his mother and his Chinese/Hong Kongian/Scottish foreign exchange student witnessed I, “The Living Legend” Sir Clancy McClean wipe several floors with the false knight Chris Cairns. The history books rightly deem Cairns a loser. I’m hungry now and want to have a bath, maybe. IGW Summer Heat Tour 2013, coming September 2013. The end.
Yours, etc.,
Clancy McClean
CEO, CMC Corporation. Director of New Media, GZW2K1. Creation Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion and GZW2K1 Lord of the Coliseum 2012. Monarch of Wrestling and the United Kingdom.
Dear
Just Business. All Business. Only Business. Not even an intro. Just Business. I’m Clancy McClean: hello, you’re an idiot, shut up, listen, good bye, and good morning Vietnam. The end. On that note, let’s begin.
As Wrestler of the Month for January 2005 - and, indeed, Wrestler of the Year for 2005 itself – I feel obliged to say a few words about my upcoming Cash the Cheque CCW Triple Crown Heavyweight championship main event match at Fallout: Heatwave Ten X with Chris Cairns.
A lot of critics out there will make the (entirely valid) point that I’ve already beaten Chris Cairns. Live. On PPV. At a previous Heatwave show, at that. And look, there’s no disputing it. I have. It’s a matter of public record. I pinned Chris Cairns’ yellow-bellied shoulders to the mat after utterly humiliating the very essence of him in what was dubbed “a technical master-class” by an unnamed, though highly reputable and well-to-do Hotwire source. He cried like a little baby as I planted him in the middle of the ring with a stiff Imperial Impalement and I subsequently broke his jaw and knocked a piece of his eyebrow off with a scintillating big boot. But look, those are the boring old facts. Everybody knows that. As I said, it’s public record. Get over it, I know I have. Critics be damned – Cairns/McClean, the faceoff of the century, is going to happen.
I’d like to say that the bout is about “bragging rights”, but that would be bullshit of a similar quality to Creation Wrestling II’s televisual output. The world, his mother and his Chinese/Hong Kongian/Scottish foreign exchange student witnessed I, “The Living Legend” Sir Clancy McClean wipe several floors with the false knight Chris Cairns. The history books rightly deem Cairns a loser. I’m hungry now and want to have a bath, maybe. IGW Summer Heat Tour 2013, coming September 2013. The end.
Yours, etc.,
Clancy McClean
CEO, CMC Corporation. Director of New Media, GZW2K1. Creation Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion and GZW2K1 Lord of the Coliseum 2012. Monarch of Wrestling and the United Kingdom.
