Post by Icon Lord Leon Corbin on Mar 2, 2015 10:32:47 GMT -6
Panic had given way to rage, and true to form a restless calm had eventually descended upon her. The pacing hadn’t lasted long, it did nobody any real favours and she could only make it as far as the kitchen anyway. Going in there was never pleasant, going in there when in any heightened state of distress could push her over the edge. She felt claustrophobic, trapped, the guilt of letting her children down and the overbearing wonder of just why the hell she never hit first. It all came flooding back, and so the pacing had stopped. Her bare feet were tucked beneath her as she curled into a chair, more to stop herself peering out of the window every three seconds than for any real comfort. She was dressed for bed in an oversized T shirt, the garment appearing more like a dress than a shirt. She had been for hours, somewhere before when she’d been able to say “fuck him” and attempted to pretend her husband wasn’t a complete tool. She’d known from the get go he wouldn’t listen to her. That look in his eyes had been deadly.
The sound of a door slamming actually made her jump. It was sudden in the silence she had been listening too intently to. To her shattered mind it sounded almost like an explosion. She resisted the urge to get up, but only because she wasn’t sure she actually wanted to see him. It would be bad, it always bloody was and she’d have to argue with him. She wasn’t sure she had the energy for that, not anymore. Maybe earlier, back when she was all “screw you guy”, she could have gladly kicked him square in the balls then. Now? Now she closed her eyes, a vain attempt to turn off the inner voice and picked up her book. This was her forth time through this page.
The living room door opened slowly, allowing entry to the man who walks in with hardly any distinguishable expression at all. He glances over, then wanders over to one of the other sofas in the room to sit down as if he’d only left for a short walk to the shops and back than what he’d really done. Glancing at him over the top of her book, she tried to take in as much as she could without him noticing. There was dried blood on his hands, that wasn’t a great sign. She could see it even from here along with the scratches on his face. There was nothing at all subtle about them, not with the skin around them being so inflamed. She didn’t want to know, he was home now so whatever it was, it was over. If she asked, he’d deny it, or worse actually tell her. Odin knows how she didn’t want that on her muddied conscience. Her attention flickered away from him, back to her book, back to the fantasy world she was trying to get lost in. Warring monsters didn’t seem half as fictional as it had a few hours ago. Thinking she's engrossed in her book, he takes the liberty of staring at her. She could feel his eyes on her, she didn’t like it. Feeling entirely more self conscious than she had any reason to be she fixes him with a questioning stare. Her attention drifts to his hands, until she finally found her voice. It sounded flat even to her own ears.
Eva: You need to wash your hands.
Icon Corbin: I know...
Eva: Before you touch anything else….
Icon Corbin: It's not even wet, but okay...
He obliges her, rising without touching the armrest to head to the kitchen. Didn’t matter if it was wet or not, she could see it. Under his nails and clinging to his skin. It was hard when it was his, it was so much harder knowing it wasn’t. She knew she’d see it on anything he touched until it was gone. In next to no time he returned. His face hadn't changed but his hands were clean at least. He resumes his seat. Pushing her hand through her already tousled hair, the evidence that she had at least tried to sleep she shifts in her seat. She was restless again, and her legs were stiff from sitting still for so long. Slipping her bookmark into her book she looks up at him. Her hazel eyes blazed, they were usually so full of expression, they usually gave her away. Even meeting his gaze he’d see nothing but her annoyance. He knew that though, of course he did. She’d all but begged him not to go see that woman.
Eva: I don’t care what happened……….I can honestly say I’d rather not know. There’s already enough to keep me up at night. If anything comes of this though, anything at all. You will be explaining to your daughter.
Icon Corbin: She won't do anything...
She nodded, the simple gesture showing that she knew and required no further explanation. Rising to her feet and fighting the dizziness, just how long had it been since she’d stood up? She shrugs.
Eva: Great…..that’s great…..the important question is though, do you feel better now?
Icon Corbin: I do, actually. I really do, Evalyn and I really don't give a shit if that makes me a bad person or not. She’s had it coming.
Another nod was all she offered though she appeared thoughtful. It was brief enough, pushed away with a shiver as she picked up her book. The hollow cheerfulness to her voice didn’t match her carefully guarded expression.
Eva: Then that’s all that matters……I’m going to bed.
Eyes narrowing, he tips his head a little and smiles.
Icon Corbin: Evalyn...I know you're pissed but let's not pretend there wasn't a part of you that wanted to do the very same thing, ay?
She didn’t even bother turning to look at him, wanting to do something and actually going through with it was the very big difference between them.
Eva: I doubt it…..
Icon Corbin: You do? Because I remember stopping you on more than one occasion, Evalyn...
Shrugging her shoulders she takes a deep breath, her eyes closing tight for a few brief moments.
Eva: You didn’t see Lucy’s face. You didn’t see the look in her eyes when she thought I’d hurt her mother. Fair enough, before all of this, before Lucy was old enough to understand I’d have easily torched the bloody whore. So yeah, I’m glad you feel better. Now your hands are clean you should probably do something about your face.
She’d have normally cleaned him up, offered helpful advice and made him feel better. Tonight, it was beyond her. She couldn’t look at him and think about why his face was clawed or the blood. She’d had to make him wash away the blood. Leaving him in the dim light of the living room she moves towards the door, stopping at the last moment. Her voice sounds back to him.
Eva: Why do you have blood on your lips?
Icon Corbin: Because she had blood on her face...
You could almost see the cogs turning, the pieces moving and shaping in her mind before she finally gave in. With a defeated sigh, she turns to face the man who was as casual as anything in his seat. Arms over the top and his legs crossed.
Eva: Alright…….What happened? What did you do?
Icon Corbin: It really wasn't that bad, y’know.
A part of him even believed that, if he considered how far he could have gone.
Icon Corbin: Could’ve been but in the end I left. She'll be okay...eventually...Physically, anyway.
Eva: That’s fab…but what did you do?
Icon Corbin: We spoke for a while. And...something...she ignored me and I grabbed her by the same wound that caused this shit in the first place. Went from there, really. Shit her up a bit but when she couldn't breathe she scratched my face. And I might have slapped her about a bit...and wanted to set the bitch on fire but I walked out at that point. Like I said, not that bad.
Arms folded across her chest, she appeared to be looking through him not that he cared.
Eva: What did you just leave out? And something? What aren’t you telling me?
Icon Corbin: Conversation. I tried to find out who she was and she wouldn't give in even though she knew it would be fucking stupid to play games.
Eva: So at what point did she scratch your face?
Icon Corbin: I sucked the life out of her...
Eva: ….Sucked….the life out of her….?
She didn’t even bother trying to hide her confusion at that one.
Icon Corbin: Held her nose and covered her mouth with mine before I kept breathing in and in until she was nearly blue. I sucked the life out of her.
He was all so matter of fact and blasé about it. Opening her mouth she closes it again, words failed her. It was late, she was tired and even in their cut throat world he was sounding utterly bloody insane. With a defeated sigh and pushing her hair away from her face she nodded.
Eva: …I ….just…okay….Sometimes the way your head works….I just….That also explains the blood on your lips.
Icon Corbin: I'm sorry, Evalyn. In a way. I'm sorry it upsets you but I am not sorry that I left my mark on that woman after everything she has put us through over the years. I've had a decade of her games and destruction.
Eva: It’s fine….I saw your face when I brought Luce home. I’m annoyed you ignored me and stormed out anyway, but I knew it’d happen.
Icon Corbin: She's a mess. Mentally, physically and dare I say emotionally. You can't imagine how great that makes me feel inside.
Eva: Yep, meanwhile so is your daughter and she’s going to have questions.
Icon Corbin: Why? Why does she have to know anything in any detail?
Eva: She’s your child. She has to know everything, all the time, every horrible detail.
Icon Corbin: She also knows I would do anything for her. Fuck, you remember the time I went down to the school when she was being bullied...
Eva: Aye, and her perception of what her parents may or may not do in her defence just got a whole lot darker thanks to her mother.
Icon Corbin: Give her time, Evalyn. She'll know deep down that it wasn't you. If I have to force a confession from Davina to give her the truth, I can do that too.
Eva: I don’t know…..I jus-
Lucy: Mu-
She’d moved like a ninja. Silent and cat like, but then she would. She knew where the creaky floorboards were, she knew she shouldn’t be out of bed. She’d been asleep briefly, Eva was sure of that much. Now though, now she stared in wide eyed horror at her dad. Her brilliant green eyes drinking in the gouges in his face, still bloody and inflamed. The blood on his lips was something else, and with any of the other children they’d have been able to explain it away as lipstick. Not Lucy though, edging away from Eva as if she’d just been shocked she darts towards Leon. The accusation etched on her face as she look from one adult to the other.
Lucy: Dad?
He didn't want to face her but thought better of it, turning his head with something resembling a smile.
Icon Corbin: What are you doing up, sweetheart?
Lucy: Couldn’t sleep. What happened to your face? Who did that?
Icon Corbin: Does that matter? Why couldn't you sleep? Anything I can do to help?
Looking very clearly at her mother the little girl shook her head. Her hair was still tied back, the messy ponytail made worse by troubled sleep.
Lucy: Daddy, your face is bleeding. It matters. Mum, fix it! Why won’t you fix it?
Her voice had risen, her breath catching in her throat, her eyes wide and staring welled up, but she stubbornly held on to the tears. Part of her believed they’d been arguing, even without the raised voices she knew they could argue. Staring numbly at her, Eva just shook her head. She’d had weeks of accusing looks and comments from the kid. Leon holds his arms out to her, beckoning her closer still.
Icon Corbin: Come here, m'love. Come on.
Rushing into his arms she clings to him tight. She wouldn’t look at him, she’d seen enough. He holds her just as tight, his eyes, though, rest on Eva. Eyes never leaving Lucy the raven haired beauty was chewing on her lip, clearly miles away within her thoughts. How many times had they replayed this scene in the last few days? There was no blood then though, just doubt and fear. Part of her suspected her daughter was scared of her, scared of what she thought she was capable of. It was laughable really, though Eva was beyond seeing the funny side of anything. Her voice soft, her tone guarded she was tired.
Eva: You want me to fix that?
Her question was direct at Leon but it was Lucy who answered.
Lucy: Yes! No! ......you’ll make it worse.
Worse? Yep she did seem to have that talent at the moment didn’t she? Pushing her hand through her hair it stays there as she shakes her head. She wouldn’t look at either of them.
Eva: Yep, sounds about right don’t it? I’m going to bed, Leon don’t let her stay up too late and at least wash your face before you sleep……..wouldn’t want them scratches getting worse.
Icon Corbin: Well, hang on. I trust your mum to make it better. Shall we go in the kitchen and sort this out?
Even though he was speaking to the child, the message was more for Eva and his stare showed it.
Hers told him she didn’t want to make it better. He deserved any pain he might have right now, and if he caught rabies from that mad bitch it’d be his fault for ignoring her. Exhaling heavily through her nose she put down her book, folded her arms across her chest and led the way into the kitchen she hated so much. Standing with the young girl, he takes her by the hand, leading her to the kitchen to join the Intercontinental champion. He didn't care about his face, this wasn't for him, it was to ease the child if anything. Heading through the door, he releases her hand, stroking her on the head.
Standing on tiptoes to reach the high cupboard they kept the first aid kit in, Eva glanced at him as they joined her. Stinging antiseptic may match her mood right now, but it wouldn’t do much to ease the little girl’s mind. This was a pointless exercise and they both knew it. The floor was cold under her bare feet, it made her shiver as she turned back to them. This bloody room was always cold these days.
Eva: Right, what am I fixing?
Lucy: The cuts you made!
A blatant accusation was a first and she narrowly avoided the sarcastic comment threatening to come out. Sometimes even the most infinite of patience was tested. Mentally scarring her little girl any further was not part of the plan. Lucy for her part was covering her mouth with her hands, watching her mother like a hawk. Running a washcloth under the hot water Eva throws it to Leon. He catches it with ease and starts dabbing his face under the watchful eye of the child. Once satisfied it was clean, he stares at both females in his presence before sighing heavily.
Icon Corbin: Lucy?
Snapping her attention back to her dad she tilts her head to look up at him. His cheek was red, either from the heat or the act of cleaning it.
Icon Corbin: Sweetheart, mummy didn't do this. At all. She didn't hurt Davina either. It was Davina that did this and it was Davina who hurt herself to upset everyone, just so you could feel like you have been. It's not a nice thing for her to do but we all know that she is not really a nice person.
Lucy: But…..but….she was scared…and why would she do that? Why would she hurt herself?
Icon Corbin: Because she was angry. She was sad. And sometimes when people feel so many emotions in one go, they do things that are not always normal. She even said to me that she didn't mean to do it at the time but she did. She wanted to be your mummy but she knows that Eva is a fantastic mum so she tried to make it look like Eva isn't a good mother and that you would want her to be your new mum. Ach...I know this is confusing...
Confusing was an understatement. Lucy was usually pretty good at keeping up with the adult conversations. She’d even mastered the art of getting what they weren’t saying mostly. Rubbing her eyes she looked from one adult to the other. Eva was still leaning against the counter, her attention fixed on the floor ahead of her. Her stare was hard, lost on a point beyond seeing anything. Lucy could’ve taken a pretty good guess at what she was thinking. She’d watched the video, read the comments. She didn’t understand what a lot of the words meant but she’d seen enough. They never made cakes here, they never spent more time than they needed here. Swallowing hard the little girl’s voice was barely above a whisper.
Lucy: Mum? You ok?
Nodding too quickly, with a smile too brief, it was the least convincing act this young woman had ever been part of. It was a surprising fact considering some of the b-movie style acts she’d been part of. Looking up at her dad the child carefully tiptoes across the floor, throwing her arms around her mum. The hug was awkward and very nearly caused the woman to fall over unbalanced.
Lucy: But why? I still don’t understand….why she would do all this?
Icon Corbin: It's just who she is. Who she has always been. It's why she has never been a real part of any of our lives even though she has been given lots of chances. But baby, I don't want you to be scared of your mum. Ever since that day, she has been really unhappy that you seem scared of her or even think she would hurt anyone when you are right there like that.
Ruffling her daughter’s hair, Eva noted that he added “right when you were there” and was glad Lucy missed the implication. She had done some horrible things over the years, things she’d buried and hidden beyond layers of stubborn denial.
Eva: Lucy, I know she’s told you some horrible things. I know a lot of them were truer than you wanted them to be, but I promise you I didn’t touch her. She’s a very broken person, and unfortunately not everything that’s broken can be fixed. Some people don’t want to be fixed, they just get worse and worse. More cracks appearing…..and the more you try to help them, the more you try and fix them, the more they break and hurt. You, your friends and even themselves. Sweetheart, I’m sorry you had to see that, I’m sorry she was allowed to get to you.
Lucy: So she’s broken?
It was a nicer way to say totally fucking crazy, but it was the closest she had to the truth right now. In some ways Davina reminded her of her Father. She’d let him in, let him get close and felt each cut as he made it. Hurt wasn’t what he wanted, but it was better than nothing. People like that didn’t really know how to love, how to put someone else first. It was all about them at the end of it all.
Icon Corbin: She is. It's matter of fact and anyone who knows her would tell you the same thing. She's hurt lots of people.
Lucy: But haven’t you and Mum?
Icon Corbin: On telly, yes. But you know that's what we do. I don't remember ever trying to hurt a pregnant lady. How about you, Evalyn?
She had to think about it, a few brief seconds to cover over a decade of misdeeds. For all of her sins that wasn’t one of them. Subconsciously the child’s grip tightens on her mother.
Eva: Nope, not that one.
Icon Corbin: I'm sorry, Lucy. I should never have let you go to see her and if I had known she would have made you feel so upset, I wouldn't have. Same really does go to you too, Evalyn.
It was the first look of remorse he’d shown that entire day. Nodding her head the little girl’s voice had gotten very small. It had been a long few days and she was mentally exhausted.
Lucy: But I needed to. Like….Like when there’s a monster under the bed waiting to grab your feet. You can stay under the blanket or you can grab your torch and go see what’s really there.
Choosing to ignore that this argument was met with the question of “what if the monster moves and goes back under when the light goes off?”, and the fact that she was still occasionally asked to tuck the blankets under small feet so toes wouldn’t be stolen, Eva nodded. To some degree she understood. Lucy had faced down her own monster.
Icon Corbin: Is that how you see her? As a monster?
Lucy: Yep, like them witches from the book. She looks pretty but underneath it she’s…….icky and the things she does are evil.
Sometimes Roald Dahl could rival King when it came to creating nightmare creatures. He sighs, moving to dispose of the blood stained cloth in the bin.
Icon Corbin: Well, I won't let her hurt you again, okay?
Her head was resting against Eva, most of her weight leaning against her. Looking up at her mum she eventually nods.
Lucy: ‘kay.
Icon Corbin: Good. Now, I think we need to go to bed and rest. It's been a long day and we're travelling tomorrow.
Eva: Sounds good to me, Luce?
Lucy: Hmmm, kay………Will you tuck me in?
Planting a kiss on top of her daughter’s head, and removing the scrunchy so her hair fell down her back the young woman smiled. It might have even been genuine.
Eva: Yep, go get comfy I’ll be up in a sec.
Lucy: ‘kay, night Dad. You have to come tuck me in too.
And keep a look out while she checked under the bed. You never could be too careful. He nods with a warm smile, and blows her a kiss. Dragging her bare feet across the floor in a shuffle more reminiscent of the walking dead than a nine year old girl, she makes her slow progress back to her bed. Eva waited until she was out of earshot, listening with the same paranoid carefulness she’d had all night. Little feet moved across the floor overhead. Satisfied they weren’t about to be overheard, Eva fixes her husband with one of her less pleasant stares. Tired she was, but she wasn’t bloody stupid.
Eva: You know I was joking about the whole rabies thing, but there’s a whole multitude of just as unpleasant things you could’ve just exposed yourself to. She isn’t the brightest of whores.
Icon Corbin: You didn't see what rubbish she was trying to clear up off the floor...
Eva: Yeah…..I did. She cleaned before I’d let Lucy near the place.
Icon Corbin: Right. What do you want me to do about that now?
Eva: At this hour? Nothing, tomorrow though?
Icon Corbin: You want me to get checked out?
Eva: Yep, are you going to argue? Really?
Icon Corbin: No. I doubt there really was an exchange of any body fluids but you can’t be too cautious...
She was surprised and for once she was too tired to stop it showing.
Eva: Oh….well…okay then.
Icon Corbin: And on that wonderful note, we should go tuck her in.
Eva: She’ll probably be asleep by the time we get up there. I don’t even remember the last time she made it through a full night.
She knew that of course, because neither had she. Despite knowing better she let her gaze sweep the kitchen. The shiver running through her, she convinced herself was because the floor was cold. Once her feet was cold that was it, there was no warming up. That logic worked for her for now. It was right up there with Lucy’s monster logic, not entirely fact but it’d do for now. Stifling a yawn she tiptoes back towards the stairs with Leon in tow.
The sound of a door slamming actually made her jump. It was sudden in the silence she had been listening too intently to. To her shattered mind it sounded almost like an explosion. She resisted the urge to get up, but only because she wasn’t sure she actually wanted to see him. It would be bad, it always bloody was and she’d have to argue with him. She wasn’t sure she had the energy for that, not anymore. Maybe earlier, back when she was all “screw you guy”, she could have gladly kicked him square in the balls then. Now? Now she closed her eyes, a vain attempt to turn off the inner voice and picked up her book. This was her forth time through this page.
The living room door opened slowly, allowing entry to the man who walks in with hardly any distinguishable expression at all. He glances over, then wanders over to one of the other sofas in the room to sit down as if he’d only left for a short walk to the shops and back than what he’d really done. Glancing at him over the top of her book, she tried to take in as much as she could without him noticing. There was dried blood on his hands, that wasn’t a great sign. She could see it even from here along with the scratches on his face. There was nothing at all subtle about them, not with the skin around them being so inflamed. She didn’t want to know, he was home now so whatever it was, it was over. If she asked, he’d deny it, or worse actually tell her. Odin knows how she didn’t want that on her muddied conscience. Her attention flickered away from him, back to her book, back to the fantasy world she was trying to get lost in. Warring monsters didn’t seem half as fictional as it had a few hours ago. Thinking she's engrossed in her book, he takes the liberty of staring at her. She could feel his eyes on her, she didn’t like it. Feeling entirely more self conscious than she had any reason to be she fixes him with a questioning stare. Her attention drifts to his hands, until she finally found her voice. It sounded flat even to her own ears.
Eva: You need to wash your hands.
Icon Corbin: I know...
Eva: Before you touch anything else….
Icon Corbin: It's not even wet, but okay...
He obliges her, rising without touching the armrest to head to the kitchen. Didn’t matter if it was wet or not, she could see it. Under his nails and clinging to his skin. It was hard when it was his, it was so much harder knowing it wasn’t. She knew she’d see it on anything he touched until it was gone. In next to no time he returned. His face hadn't changed but his hands were clean at least. He resumes his seat. Pushing her hand through her already tousled hair, the evidence that she had at least tried to sleep she shifts in her seat. She was restless again, and her legs were stiff from sitting still for so long. Slipping her bookmark into her book she looks up at him. Her hazel eyes blazed, they were usually so full of expression, they usually gave her away. Even meeting his gaze he’d see nothing but her annoyance. He knew that though, of course he did. She’d all but begged him not to go see that woman.
Eva: I don’t care what happened……….I can honestly say I’d rather not know. There’s already enough to keep me up at night. If anything comes of this though, anything at all. You will be explaining to your daughter.
Icon Corbin: She won't do anything...
She nodded, the simple gesture showing that she knew and required no further explanation. Rising to her feet and fighting the dizziness, just how long had it been since she’d stood up? She shrugs.
Eva: Great…..that’s great…..the important question is though, do you feel better now?
Icon Corbin: I do, actually. I really do, Evalyn and I really don't give a shit if that makes me a bad person or not. She’s had it coming.
Another nod was all she offered though she appeared thoughtful. It was brief enough, pushed away with a shiver as she picked up her book. The hollow cheerfulness to her voice didn’t match her carefully guarded expression.
Eva: Then that’s all that matters……I’m going to bed.
Eyes narrowing, he tips his head a little and smiles.
Icon Corbin: Evalyn...I know you're pissed but let's not pretend there wasn't a part of you that wanted to do the very same thing, ay?
She didn’t even bother turning to look at him, wanting to do something and actually going through with it was the very big difference between them.
Eva: I doubt it…..
Icon Corbin: You do? Because I remember stopping you on more than one occasion, Evalyn...
Shrugging her shoulders she takes a deep breath, her eyes closing tight for a few brief moments.
Eva: You didn’t see Lucy’s face. You didn’t see the look in her eyes when she thought I’d hurt her mother. Fair enough, before all of this, before Lucy was old enough to understand I’d have easily torched the bloody whore. So yeah, I’m glad you feel better. Now your hands are clean you should probably do something about your face.
She’d have normally cleaned him up, offered helpful advice and made him feel better. Tonight, it was beyond her. She couldn’t look at him and think about why his face was clawed or the blood. She’d had to make him wash away the blood. Leaving him in the dim light of the living room she moves towards the door, stopping at the last moment. Her voice sounds back to him.
Eva: Why do you have blood on your lips?
Icon Corbin: Because she had blood on her face...
You could almost see the cogs turning, the pieces moving and shaping in her mind before she finally gave in. With a defeated sigh, she turns to face the man who was as casual as anything in his seat. Arms over the top and his legs crossed.
Eva: Alright…….What happened? What did you do?
Icon Corbin: It really wasn't that bad, y’know.
A part of him even believed that, if he considered how far he could have gone.
Icon Corbin: Could’ve been but in the end I left. She'll be okay...eventually...Physically, anyway.
Eva: That’s fab…but what did you do?
Icon Corbin: We spoke for a while. And...something...she ignored me and I grabbed her by the same wound that caused this shit in the first place. Went from there, really. Shit her up a bit but when she couldn't breathe she scratched my face. And I might have slapped her about a bit...and wanted to set the bitch on fire but I walked out at that point. Like I said, not that bad.
Arms folded across her chest, she appeared to be looking through him not that he cared.
Eva: What did you just leave out? And something? What aren’t you telling me?
Icon Corbin: Conversation. I tried to find out who she was and she wouldn't give in even though she knew it would be fucking stupid to play games.
Eva: So at what point did she scratch your face?
Icon Corbin: I sucked the life out of her...
Eva: ….Sucked….the life out of her….?
She didn’t even bother trying to hide her confusion at that one.
Icon Corbin: Held her nose and covered her mouth with mine before I kept breathing in and in until she was nearly blue. I sucked the life out of her.
He was all so matter of fact and blasé about it. Opening her mouth she closes it again, words failed her. It was late, she was tired and even in their cut throat world he was sounding utterly bloody insane. With a defeated sigh and pushing her hair away from her face she nodded.
Eva: …I ….just…okay….Sometimes the way your head works….I just….That also explains the blood on your lips.
Icon Corbin: I'm sorry, Evalyn. In a way. I'm sorry it upsets you but I am not sorry that I left my mark on that woman after everything she has put us through over the years. I've had a decade of her games and destruction.
Eva: It’s fine….I saw your face when I brought Luce home. I’m annoyed you ignored me and stormed out anyway, but I knew it’d happen.
Icon Corbin: She's a mess. Mentally, physically and dare I say emotionally. You can't imagine how great that makes me feel inside.
Eva: Yep, meanwhile so is your daughter and she’s going to have questions.
Icon Corbin: Why? Why does she have to know anything in any detail?
Eva: She’s your child. She has to know everything, all the time, every horrible detail.
Icon Corbin: She also knows I would do anything for her. Fuck, you remember the time I went down to the school when she was being bullied...
Eva: Aye, and her perception of what her parents may or may not do in her defence just got a whole lot darker thanks to her mother.
Icon Corbin: Give her time, Evalyn. She'll know deep down that it wasn't you. If I have to force a confession from Davina to give her the truth, I can do that too.
Eva: I don’t know…..I jus-
Lucy: Mu-
She’d moved like a ninja. Silent and cat like, but then she would. She knew where the creaky floorboards were, she knew she shouldn’t be out of bed. She’d been asleep briefly, Eva was sure of that much. Now though, now she stared in wide eyed horror at her dad. Her brilliant green eyes drinking in the gouges in his face, still bloody and inflamed. The blood on his lips was something else, and with any of the other children they’d have been able to explain it away as lipstick. Not Lucy though, edging away from Eva as if she’d just been shocked she darts towards Leon. The accusation etched on her face as she look from one adult to the other.
Lucy: Dad?
He didn't want to face her but thought better of it, turning his head with something resembling a smile.
Icon Corbin: What are you doing up, sweetheart?
Lucy: Couldn’t sleep. What happened to your face? Who did that?
Icon Corbin: Does that matter? Why couldn't you sleep? Anything I can do to help?
Looking very clearly at her mother the little girl shook her head. Her hair was still tied back, the messy ponytail made worse by troubled sleep.
Lucy: Daddy, your face is bleeding. It matters. Mum, fix it! Why won’t you fix it?
Her voice had risen, her breath catching in her throat, her eyes wide and staring welled up, but she stubbornly held on to the tears. Part of her believed they’d been arguing, even without the raised voices she knew they could argue. Staring numbly at her, Eva just shook her head. She’d had weeks of accusing looks and comments from the kid. Leon holds his arms out to her, beckoning her closer still.
Icon Corbin: Come here, m'love. Come on.
Rushing into his arms she clings to him tight. She wouldn’t look at him, she’d seen enough. He holds her just as tight, his eyes, though, rest on Eva. Eyes never leaving Lucy the raven haired beauty was chewing on her lip, clearly miles away within her thoughts. How many times had they replayed this scene in the last few days? There was no blood then though, just doubt and fear. Part of her suspected her daughter was scared of her, scared of what she thought she was capable of. It was laughable really, though Eva was beyond seeing the funny side of anything. Her voice soft, her tone guarded she was tired.
Eva: You want me to fix that?
Her question was direct at Leon but it was Lucy who answered.
Lucy: Yes! No! ......you’ll make it worse.
Worse? Yep she did seem to have that talent at the moment didn’t she? Pushing her hand through her hair it stays there as she shakes her head. She wouldn’t look at either of them.
Eva: Yep, sounds about right don’t it? I’m going to bed, Leon don’t let her stay up too late and at least wash your face before you sleep……..wouldn’t want them scratches getting worse.
Icon Corbin: Well, hang on. I trust your mum to make it better. Shall we go in the kitchen and sort this out?
Even though he was speaking to the child, the message was more for Eva and his stare showed it.
Hers told him she didn’t want to make it better. He deserved any pain he might have right now, and if he caught rabies from that mad bitch it’d be his fault for ignoring her. Exhaling heavily through her nose she put down her book, folded her arms across her chest and led the way into the kitchen she hated so much. Standing with the young girl, he takes her by the hand, leading her to the kitchen to join the Intercontinental champion. He didn't care about his face, this wasn't for him, it was to ease the child if anything. Heading through the door, he releases her hand, stroking her on the head.
Standing on tiptoes to reach the high cupboard they kept the first aid kit in, Eva glanced at him as they joined her. Stinging antiseptic may match her mood right now, but it wouldn’t do much to ease the little girl’s mind. This was a pointless exercise and they both knew it. The floor was cold under her bare feet, it made her shiver as she turned back to them. This bloody room was always cold these days.
Eva: Right, what am I fixing?
Lucy: The cuts you made!
A blatant accusation was a first and she narrowly avoided the sarcastic comment threatening to come out. Sometimes even the most infinite of patience was tested. Mentally scarring her little girl any further was not part of the plan. Lucy for her part was covering her mouth with her hands, watching her mother like a hawk. Running a washcloth under the hot water Eva throws it to Leon. He catches it with ease and starts dabbing his face under the watchful eye of the child. Once satisfied it was clean, he stares at both females in his presence before sighing heavily.
Icon Corbin: Lucy?
Snapping her attention back to her dad she tilts her head to look up at him. His cheek was red, either from the heat or the act of cleaning it.
Icon Corbin: Sweetheart, mummy didn't do this. At all. She didn't hurt Davina either. It was Davina that did this and it was Davina who hurt herself to upset everyone, just so you could feel like you have been. It's not a nice thing for her to do but we all know that she is not really a nice person.
Lucy: But…..but….she was scared…and why would she do that? Why would she hurt herself?
Icon Corbin: Because she was angry. She was sad. And sometimes when people feel so many emotions in one go, they do things that are not always normal. She even said to me that she didn't mean to do it at the time but she did. She wanted to be your mummy but she knows that Eva is a fantastic mum so she tried to make it look like Eva isn't a good mother and that you would want her to be your new mum. Ach...I know this is confusing...
Confusing was an understatement. Lucy was usually pretty good at keeping up with the adult conversations. She’d even mastered the art of getting what they weren’t saying mostly. Rubbing her eyes she looked from one adult to the other. Eva was still leaning against the counter, her attention fixed on the floor ahead of her. Her stare was hard, lost on a point beyond seeing anything. Lucy could’ve taken a pretty good guess at what she was thinking. She’d watched the video, read the comments. She didn’t understand what a lot of the words meant but she’d seen enough. They never made cakes here, they never spent more time than they needed here. Swallowing hard the little girl’s voice was barely above a whisper.
Lucy: Mum? You ok?
Nodding too quickly, with a smile too brief, it was the least convincing act this young woman had ever been part of. It was a surprising fact considering some of the b-movie style acts she’d been part of. Looking up at her dad the child carefully tiptoes across the floor, throwing her arms around her mum. The hug was awkward and very nearly caused the woman to fall over unbalanced.
Lucy: But why? I still don’t understand….why she would do all this?
Icon Corbin: It's just who she is. Who she has always been. It's why she has never been a real part of any of our lives even though she has been given lots of chances. But baby, I don't want you to be scared of your mum. Ever since that day, she has been really unhappy that you seem scared of her or even think she would hurt anyone when you are right there like that.
Ruffling her daughter’s hair, Eva noted that he added “right when you were there” and was glad Lucy missed the implication. She had done some horrible things over the years, things she’d buried and hidden beyond layers of stubborn denial.
Eva: Lucy, I know she’s told you some horrible things. I know a lot of them were truer than you wanted them to be, but I promise you I didn’t touch her. She’s a very broken person, and unfortunately not everything that’s broken can be fixed. Some people don’t want to be fixed, they just get worse and worse. More cracks appearing…..and the more you try to help them, the more you try and fix them, the more they break and hurt. You, your friends and even themselves. Sweetheart, I’m sorry you had to see that, I’m sorry she was allowed to get to you.
Lucy: So she’s broken?
It was a nicer way to say totally fucking crazy, but it was the closest she had to the truth right now. In some ways Davina reminded her of her Father. She’d let him in, let him get close and felt each cut as he made it. Hurt wasn’t what he wanted, but it was better than nothing. People like that didn’t really know how to love, how to put someone else first. It was all about them at the end of it all.
Icon Corbin: She is. It's matter of fact and anyone who knows her would tell you the same thing. She's hurt lots of people.
Lucy: But haven’t you and Mum?
Icon Corbin: On telly, yes. But you know that's what we do. I don't remember ever trying to hurt a pregnant lady. How about you, Evalyn?
She had to think about it, a few brief seconds to cover over a decade of misdeeds. For all of her sins that wasn’t one of them. Subconsciously the child’s grip tightens on her mother.
Eva: Nope, not that one.
Icon Corbin: I'm sorry, Lucy. I should never have let you go to see her and if I had known she would have made you feel so upset, I wouldn't have. Same really does go to you too, Evalyn.
It was the first look of remorse he’d shown that entire day. Nodding her head the little girl’s voice had gotten very small. It had been a long few days and she was mentally exhausted.
Lucy: But I needed to. Like….Like when there’s a monster under the bed waiting to grab your feet. You can stay under the blanket or you can grab your torch and go see what’s really there.
Choosing to ignore that this argument was met with the question of “what if the monster moves and goes back under when the light goes off?”, and the fact that she was still occasionally asked to tuck the blankets under small feet so toes wouldn’t be stolen, Eva nodded. To some degree she understood. Lucy had faced down her own monster.
Icon Corbin: Is that how you see her? As a monster?
Lucy: Yep, like them witches from the book. She looks pretty but underneath it she’s…….icky and the things she does are evil.
Sometimes Roald Dahl could rival King when it came to creating nightmare creatures. He sighs, moving to dispose of the blood stained cloth in the bin.
Icon Corbin: Well, I won't let her hurt you again, okay?
Her head was resting against Eva, most of her weight leaning against her. Looking up at her mum she eventually nods.
Lucy: ‘kay.
Icon Corbin: Good. Now, I think we need to go to bed and rest. It's been a long day and we're travelling tomorrow.
Eva: Sounds good to me, Luce?
Lucy: Hmmm, kay………Will you tuck me in?
Planting a kiss on top of her daughter’s head, and removing the scrunchy so her hair fell down her back the young woman smiled. It might have even been genuine.
Eva: Yep, go get comfy I’ll be up in a sec.
Lucy: ‘kay, night Dad. You have to come tuck me in too.
And keep a look out while she checked under the bed. You never could be too careful. He nods with a warm smile, and blows her a kiss. Dragging her bare feet across the floor in a shuffle more reminiscent of the walking dead than a nine year old girl, she makes her slow progress back to her bed. Eva waited until she was out of earshot, listening with the same paranoid carefulness she’d had all night. Little feet moved across the floor overhead. Satisfied they weren’t about to be overheard, Eva fixes her husband with one of her less pleasant stares. Tired she was, but she wasn’t bloody stupid.
Eva: You know I was joking about the whole rabies thing, but there’s a whole multitude of just as unpleasant things you could’ve just exposed yourself to. She isn’t the brightest of whores.
Icon Corbin: You didn't see what rubbish she was trying to clear up off the floor...
Eva: Yeah…..I did. She cleaned before I’d let Lucy near the place.
Icon Corbin: Right. What do you want me to do about that now?
Eva: At this hour? Nothing, tomorrow though?
Icon Corbin: You want me to get checked out?
Eva: Yep, are you going to argue? Really?
Icon Corbin: No. I doubt there really was an exchange of any body fluids but you can’t be too cautious...
She was surprised and for once she was too tired to stop it showing.
Eva: Oh….well…okay then.
Icon Corbin: And on that wonderful note, we should go tuck her in.
Eva: She’ll probably be asleep by the time we get up there. I don’t even remember the last time she made it through a full night.
She knew that of course, because neither had she. Despite knowing better she let her gaze sweep the kitchen. The shiver running through her, she convinced herself was because the floor was cold. Once her feet was cold that was it, there was no warming up. That logic worked for her for now. It was right up there with Lucy’s monster logic, not entirely fact but it’d do for now. Stifling a yawn she tiptoes back towards the stairs with Leon in tow.
