Post by Mike on Nov 29, 2002 20:36:08 GMT -6
Dear Pimp...
[/i][/color][/size]Hey all the all so loveable Pimp Bizkit writing all this to send out to those wannabe Pimpsters out there who need help with whatever. As Always I Pimp Bizkit is here to lend a hand to all my lovely fans out there reading this article. So today’s edition is another classic from yours truly PIMP BIZKIT.
To make a move or not to make a move
Dear Pimp,
I have recently become obsessed with a girl at college, however i am very good friends with her. i also feel that making a move would jeopardise this good friendship. However she is currently single, so should I make my move before its too late and she finds someone else. What should I do pimpster please tell me.[/color][/i]
Okay first off reader I bet I know what you’re thinking why this one has this been used? And if you’re not I’m going to tell you anyway. This guy is a friend of myn, and has asked for advice to fine I said I’ll give it him like it is, and give him advice that he may or may not like.
Anyway on with the advice, you’re obsessed with her eh? The word obsessed kind of makes someone sound sad, do you have nothing better to think about than ONE woman. NO woman deserves that amount of time spent thinking about her on her own. Maybe if you thought about several girls all in bed at once, with you of course, that would help the old handshaft work better. Anyway this may just be fixation, it might change if you get her, it might make this OBSESSION go away. However just remember woman, are only good for a limited amount of things such as cooking, cleaning, looking pretty, and when I’m shagging them.
But do you know what’s sadder than that, you’re very good friends with her, what kind of a REAL man get close friends with any woman? You know if you’re JUST friends people will begin to talk buddy, and that isn’t good for any future relationships, as birds will begin to think that either you’re gay, or you’re taken. So ask her what she thinks is the sensible advice, that way you can either move on if she doesn’t like you. If she feels the same or similar then good for you, bone her then forget about her, and move onto the next hoe you want to lay. If it was me personally I have the skills to be able to bed her, and three of her mates at the same time. But seeing as most people reading this can’t possibly be as highly skilled as me, otherwise it would be them sitting writing this, then I’ll just presume you don’t have the ability to bed more than one woman at once, at least not for now.
Making a move WOULD jeopardise the friendship, because you will either move on to be more than friends, at least for a short while anyway. Or she doesn’t feel the same and you move on. Besides from her point of view there’s nothing more creepy than a guy that won’t leave so leave if she feels differently about you. If she feels the same it might be good to go out with her for a while get her to trust you. Film the sex, send it to me, then dump her, let me have fun making copies and selling them on for a fair fee that people will be willing to pay to see this girl have sex. If she’s a minger though forget it, but no bloke would get obsessed with a minger though not one with at least ONE brain cell.
There was another thing that caught my eye when reading your letter though something bad about this woman. You said she’s currently single, what’s that meant to me is she not normally single, and how many times has she been with someone else. This is where the alarm bells should start to ring, she isn’t the kin of woman, that can cook or clean. I mean look at it no bloke would stay with his woman if she can’t complete those two simplest of tasks. She obviously can’t because she’s currently single making her sound like the village bicycle, or has she extended her wings further than just the village?
Anyway I hope my advice helps you in your quest to possibly bed this girl, or to open your eyes, and see that she is nothing to you. So till next time Pimpites, it’s see you soon
