Post by Kolic on Jan 20, 2016 12:07:15 GMT -6
“What happened this year?”
One question plagued him for weeks, now months. It seemed like too quickly and not fast enough at the same time. Either one would have been preferable to him; either more rapidly to get through the pain and mistakes, or slower to have more time to make amends.
Marcus Gilespie, known to many for years as Kolic, pondered this as he stared into his bacon and eggs with loaded, smothered, and covered hash browns at the local Waffle House. It's the one he preferred, especially recently. They treated him like a regular but didn't bring up his career or celebrity status, as much as it was. Lately he didn't want to be recognized, and for good reason. You know what they say about those who fight monsters...
It didn't all begin with Clan Mayhem's invasion, of course, but that was the proverbial straw that started to break his back. After years of taking on every variety of evil in GZW, the line of enemies never seemed to end. That wasn't the turning point, however. That came when he thought he could be cleverer than everyone else. Instead of fighting them back, he tried to turn them into a weapon against a greater evil. It was such a great idea, he thought; direct a hostile force to tear down the system that beat him down again and again. Nobody would see it coming, either. After all, how would a good Christian man like him ally with a group who had someone named Demon? Come on. And so he sacrificed his name and reputation to accomplish his goals of destroying GZW...
...and boy did that blow up in his face. He drove a chair into his best friend and capricious semi-ally, then left another to the wolves. He shattered all the trust he'd earned , but gained four weapons in the process. Thus his war against GZW began. So how'd that go? I'm pretty sure anyone could guess even if they never watched a show. It wasn't long before the company's standard bearers united to take them all down. Kolic's plans crumbled like dry, eroded earth within months. Not only that, the insult to his injuries came when he learned that Raze brought them in specifically to bring the company together. Yep, the manipulator was being played the whole time.
I feel it deep within
It's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become
The nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster
Now void of both goals and the means to achieve them, Kolic set his sights on winning the recently vacated heavyweight title, if for no other reason than to deny it to anyone else. Still, his heart wasn't in it completely, and he could tell it was turning to stone day by day. There was something-no, someone missing, and he felt hobbled without her. For months his wife Kate had broken contact throughout the world tour, and when he came home afterward, she was gone. He tried to put that out of his mind, but he could feel her absence chipping away at his mental state. And then, one morning, there she was. Still angry, but caring enough to tell him so. That was the final act to break through the wall he'd built up to keep everyone away from who he'd become.
“Hey hon? You barely touched your food, everything all right?”
Kolic: Huh? Yeah, yeah, just thinking about things.
“Well don't think too long, those hash browns won't be good cold.”
Kolic: Thanks Edna.
There was something he needed every once in a while, a kick in the rear to disrupt his thoughts. He started to chow down on the rest of his food. Despite the jukebox blaring over the speakers, he managed to overhear a nearby conversation:
“So yeah, I'm definitely going to the show. Want to come along?”
“Nah, I'm just gonna watch on pay-per-view. No one I want to see anyway.”
“Not even Munin vs. Champa? Come on, I want to see her kick his teeth in.”
“There's that, but the undercard sucks. It's just the leftovers fighting each other. Besides, Kolic's not worth watching.”
“I know. It was shocking when he turned heel, but now he's just emo and boring.”
Boring. The kiss of death in professional wrestling. His heart sank when he heard that, mostly because he knew it to be true. What did he have to offer now? More moaning about how he's lost his friends and fans? That wasn't him, and yet he knew it was. Still, needing to change and knowing the steps to do so are two very different things. For now though, all he could do was pay for his meal and pray about it at home.
I don't wanna feel like this tomorrow
I don't wanna live like this today
Make me feel better, I wanna feel better
Stay with me here now and never surrender
He stepped out into the night, shocked at how warm it was despite this being almost the end of December. He checked his phone and read a message from Kate, oblivious to near-whispering coming from somewhere behind him. He did notice after some time that someone was standing behind him, and turned to see a kid around 11 or 12 years old.
“Excuse me, are you Kolic?”
Kolic: Uh, yeah...
“Awesome!”
Well, he didn't expect that.
“It's so cool to meet you, could...uh, could I get an autograph?”
The kid turned to his parents still inside the Waffle House, keeping an eye on things but letting him meet his hero without butting in.
Kolic: Really? I'm, I'm sorry, that came out wrong. I'm just surprised to have a fan after everything I've done this year.
“Oh come on, I know that's not really you. That's just a character you're playing. How about that autograph? Please?”
Kolic: I guess I can't say no to that. Let's see...do you have a-
The kid holds up a pen and paper before Kolic can finish his sentence.
Kolic: Well there you go. What's your name?
“Nolan, Mister Kolic, or Gilespie...”
Kolic: Kolic's fine, Nolan.
He took the pen and scribbled this onto the paper:
“Nolan,
Thanks for believing in me, even when I didn't.
God bless,”
And he finished with his signature, both his real name and wrestling moniker. Nolan couldn't help himself from taking the autograph and running at full speed back into the restaurant. Kolic smiled for the first time that night as he walked back to his car. He may not know the exact path he needed to take, but at least he had an idea for a direction now, and it was more than he had before.
One question plagued him for weeks, now months. It seemed like too quickly and not fast enough at the same time. Either one would have been preferable to him; either more rapidly to get through the pain and mistakes, or slower to have more time to make amends.
Marcus Gilespie, known to many for years as Kolic, pondered this as he stared into his bacon and eggs with loaded, smothered, and covered hash browns at the local Waffle House. It's the one he preferred, especially recently. They treated him like a regular but didn't bring up his career or celebrity status, as much as it was. Lately he didn't want to be recognized, and for good reason. You know what they say about those who fight monsters...
It's not me, it's you
Always has been you
All the lies and stupid things you say and do, it's you
It's not me, it's you
All the lies and pain you put me through
I know that it's not me, it's you
Always has been you
All the lies and stupid things you say and do, it's you
It's not me, it's you
All the lies and pain you put me through
I know that it's not me, it's you
It didn't all begin with Clan Mayhem's invasion, of course, but that was the proverbial straw that started to break his back. After years of taking on every variety of evil in GZW, the line of enemies never seemed to end. That wasn't the turning point, however. That came when he thought he could be cleverer than everyone else. Instead of fighting them back, he tried to turn them into a weapon against a greater evil. It was such a great idea, he thought; direct a hostile force to tear down the system that beat him down again and again. Nobody would see it coming, either. After all, how would a good Christian man like him ally with a group who had someone named Demon? Come on. And so he sacrificed his name and reputation to accomplish his goals of destroying GZW...
...and boy did that blow up in his face. He drove a chair into his best friend and capricious semi-ally, then left another to the wolves. He shattered all the trust he'd earned , but gained four weapons in the process. Thus his war against GZW began. So how'd that go? I'm pretty sure anyone could guess even if they never watched a show. It wasn't long before the company's standard bearers united to take them all down. Kolic's plans crumbled like dry, eroded earth within months. Not only that, the insult to his injuries came when he learned that Raze brought them in specifically to bring the company together. Yep, the manipulator was being played the whole time.
I feel it deep within
It's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become
The nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster
Now void of both goals and the means to achieve them, Kolic set his sights on winning the recently vacated heavyweight title, if for no other reason than to deny it to anyone else. Still, his heart wasn't in it completely, and he could tell it was turning to stone day by day. There was something-no, someone missing, and he felt hobbled without her. For months his wife Kate had broken contact throughout the world tour, and when he came home afterward, she was gone. He tried to put that out of his mind, but he could feel her absence chipping away at his mental state. And then, one morning, there she was. Still angry, but caring enough to tell him so. That was the final act to break through the wall he'd built up to keep everyone away from who he'd become.
I don't wanna live, I don't wanna breathe
Unless I feel you next to me
You take the pain I feel
Waking up to you never felt so real
I don't wanna sleep, I don't wanna dream
'Cause my dreams don't comfort me
The way you make me feel
Waking up to you, now I'm so real
Unless I feel you next to me
You take the pain I feel
Waking up to you never felt so real
I don't wanna sleep, I don't wanna dream
'Cause my dreams don't comfort me
The way you make me feel
Waking up to you, now I'm so real
“Hey hon? You barely touched your food, everything all right?”
Kolic: Huh? Yeah, yeah, just thinking about things.
“Well don't think too long, those hash browns won't be good cold.”
Kolic: Thanks Edna.
There was something he needed every once in a while, a kick in the rear to disrupt his thoughts. He started to chow down on the rest of his food. Despite the jukebox blaring over the speakers, he managed to overhear a nearby conversation:
“So yeah, I'm definitely going to the show. Want to come along?”
“Nah, I'm just gonna watch on pay-per-view. No one I want to see anyway.”
“Not even Munin vs. Champa? Come on, I want to see her kick his teeth in.”
“There's that, but the undercard sucks. It's just the leftovers fighting each other. Besides, Kolic's not worth watching.”
“I know. It was shocking when he turned heel, but now he's just emo and boring.”
Boring. The kiss of death in professional wrestling. His heart sank when he heard that, mostly because he knew it to be true. What did he have to offer now? More moaning about how he's lost his friends and fans? That wasn't him, and yet he knew it was. Still, needing to change and knowing the steps to do so are two very different things. For now though, all he could do was pay for his meal and pray about it at home.
I don't wanna feel like this tomorrow
I don't wanna live like this today
Make me feel better, I wanna feel better
Stay with me here now and never surrender
He stepped out into the night, shocked at how warm it was despite this being almost the end of December. He checked his phone and read a message from Kate, oblivious to near-whispering coming from somewhere behind him. He did notice after some time that someone was standing behind him, and turned to see a kid around 11 or 12 years old.
“Excuse me, are you Kolic?”
Kolic: Uh, yeah...
“Awesome!”
Well, he didn't expect that.
“It's so cool to meet you, could...uh, could I get an autograph?”
The kid turned to his parents still inside the Waffle House, keeping an eye on things but letting him meet his hero without butting in.
Kolic: Really? I'm, I'm sorry, that came out wrong. I'm just surprised to have a fan after everything I've done this year.
“Oh come on, I know that's not really you. That's just a character you're playing. How about that autograph? Please?”
Kolic: I guess I can't say no to that. Let's see...do you have a-
The kid holds up a pen and paper before Kolic can finish his sentence.
Kolic: Well there you go. What's your name?
“Nolan, Mister Kolic, or Gilespie...”
Kolic: Kolic's fine, Nolan.
He took the pen and scribbled this onto the paper:
“Nolan,
Thanks for believing in me, even when I didn't.
God bless,”
And he finished with his signature, both his real name and wrestling moniker. Nolan couldn't help himself from taking the autograph and running at full speed back into the restaurant. Kolic smiled for the first time that night as he walked back to his car. He may not know the exact path he needed to take, but at least he had an idea for a direction now, and it was more than he had before.
Today I'm gonna try a little harder
Gonna make every minute last longer
Gonna learn to forgive and forget
Cause we don't have long, gonna make the most of it...
Gonna make every minute last longer
Gonna learn to forgive and forget
Cause we don't have long, gonna make the most of it...
