Wyldsyde Results

[Mrs. M]

GZW Presents…

Wednesday Wyldsyde

16th October 2002

With Mrs. Murakame and 'Jaguar’ Jackie Lee at ringside.
Special Guest Announcer: The GZW Light-Heavyweight Champion, Chains


The show opens with Chains, being interviewed by Mickey Greer. Chains shouted that he was supposed to be the guest commentator, and he was going to do what he was originally contracted to do! Suddenly, from out of nowhere Jackie Lee, armed with a Fire Extinguisher runs and cracks him across the back of the head! With Chains floored and Mickey running away, the Jaguar assaults him further by using the CO2 on him! With Chains writhing in pain and clutching his eyes, the satisfied Jackie Lee states: “There was NO WAY that YOU were going to commentate tonight, Chains! You need to learn how to treat women and how to respect your elders and betters!” He then strides off, tossing the extinguisher aside.

The new Wyldsyde theme tune, ‘Carmen Queesy’ by Maxim (featuring Skin), blares over the PA, and Mrs. M appears on the zerotron to a supportive cheer from the crowd! Lacking her usual vitality, she heads down to the ring and takes her seat with a grim look on her face.

On the zerotron screen, as the distorted guitar start of ‘Carmen Queesy’ plays various close up shots of GZW Superstar’s with serious looks on their faces: Kid Kaos, Symon, Magic, Sho, Justin, Eclipse, Nathan, Pimp, Zac, Maxx, Spartan, Deacon, Monarch.

The beat kicks in, and various superstars hit finishers and high impact moves. Nathan Williams (in his T-Rex guise) hits Extinction on Magic. Firefly locks an STF on Ben Robertson who taps furiously. Magic hits a Final Destination on Maxx Pain. Diamond hits Dumped on El Gambit. Deacon Kane hits a Wicked Way on Kid Kaos. Chains has the Chainsaw locked on Prey on the steel railing. Maxx Pain hits a Career Ender on Billy Bond. Pimp Bizkit locks the Final Choke on Shokuka No Saru. Old school: Kage hits a Kage kick on Dice Morgan. Monarch hits Imperial Impalement on Maxx Pain. As the theme tune continued to play, crazy pyro blasted around the arena to announce GZW's Wednesday Night Wyldsyde!

Mrs. M welcomes everyone to Wyldsyde as the vengeful Jackie Lee heads to the ring after his assault on Chains. Not quite as pleased with himself as he might have been had he been sitting next to Siu Ann, the Jaguar comments that Chains had it coming to him.

[Mrs. M]

Singles Match: 'The Black Ninja' Shinoba V The Bilston Brawler
A really cheesy Darude song comes over the PA, but the Brawler is nowhere to be seen. Suddenly, ‘Raise Your Sword (Samurai Showdown) by RZA takes over but instead of the usual videos, a brutal scene comes onto the Zerotron screen. In the development room locker, Shokuba No Saru, Slicky Gel and Happy Sumo are aiding the EMTs to stretcher out a very bloody Bilston Brawler. Shinoba comes onto the zerotron and through his distorter declares: ‘JuSt AnOtHeR hIt!’ and heads back to a shower of boos. With neither combatant getting to the ring, the ref declares it a no contest as Mrs. M cries for fines and bans to go Shinoba’s way!
RESULT: NO CONTEST

Backstage, Eddie Knoxville is stood at a coffee machine. Diamond Sledge walks up to Eddie, with an adorable smile on his face. Diamond calls Eddie a ‘Friend’ and hugs him! Eddie pushes Diamond away with a look of utter disdain on his face, and quickly walks away leaving Diamond sad, looking downward at his feet!

Mrs. M comments about how sweet Diamond is, but was suddenly interrupted by ‘Click, Click, Boom’ by Saliva coming over the PA. Out came Chains with bloodshot eyes and a microphone. He stated that he was guest commentator, and he’d damn well commentate whatever some fat old moggy threw at him! He headed to the ring and donned the headgear. Jackie Lee was visibly fuming, and Mrs. M somewhat upset and defensive as the Chaos Theory member sat down. Chains said that if Jackie tried anything again, he’d break his neck! Jackie told the Light-heavyweight champion to try it!

Singles Match: Dark Steel V ‘Mean’ Macauley McGrue
Dark Steel started off bullying the cowboy with huge clubbing blows and a big boot. However, the big man celebrated too early and got caught in a schoolboy by the wily veteran that got him a two count! Dark Steel soon got the advantage back however, with a monstrous powerslam that rattled the ring! When Mrs. M commented that it must have hurt, Chains said it wouldn’t have hury as much as a car crash! Try as he could, now that Dark Steel was focused, McGrue was overmatched by the dominating competitor. Steel hit some high impact moves including a military press slam and a chokeslam. He ultimately finished it with a devastating Darkness for an academic pin. Chains commented that McGrue looked like he’d been in a car crash, but not one as bad as the one that Sho Murakame caused! Jackie Lee told him to shut up or he’d make him!
WINNER BY PINFALL: Dark Steel

[Mrs. M]

Backstage after his convincing win over ‘Mean’ Macauley McGrue, Dark Steel heads to the locker room. From out of nowhere, Eclipse appears behind him, and nails him with a steel chair across the back of the head. Steel hits the deck, and Eclipse then pulls out a large pumpkin and waits for him to get up. The second he does Eclipse smashes the pumpkin over his head with the guts and seeds flying everywhere! Dark Steel goes reeling to the floor, and Eclipse looks down at DS and says “To steal a line from my boy Busta Rhymes... Trick-or-treat, mutha f*cka!” and heads off quickly before the big man can get his senses, or reinforcements from Strife’s Dungeon. It's difficult to tell a man's emaotions when he wears a steel mask... but the fact that Dark Steel got up and put his fist through the wall gives a good idea!

At ringside, Jackie finally snapped when Chains said that he was happy that Siu Ann had been in a car crash and hoped she was miserable that her fiancé was in critical condition! Jackie lunged at Chains, and the two ended up brawling. Both laid into each other and pounded one another, as Mrs. M screamed in horror. Refs came down to the ring to split them up but Jackie demanded that they go at it in the arena tonight, one on one in a wrestling match! Chains immediately agreed!

Singles Match: ‘Jaguar’ Jackie Lee V Chains
Carrying on straight away from their brawling, the action started outside the ring as the two exchanged right hands. Chains got the advantage by bouncing Jackie’s head off the guardrail. He then rolled the Jaguar into the ring and the bell to officially start the match rang. Chains brutalised poor Jackie, but was taken unawares when the wily veteran raked his eyes and hit a nice vertical suplex. Encouraged by the crowd, Jackie bounced Chains’ head off the top buckle as the crowd counted along from one to ten. An Irish whip to the other corner was reversed and Chains hit Chained on Jackie. Chains called for Coffin and Nails, but struggled to get Jackie up onto his shoulders and Jackie merely sat down planting his face into the mat! Jackie called for the Running Powerslam, but as he went to pick up Chains, the Chaos Theory member smashed him round the face with a pair of steel knucks from his trunks, and the ref saw nothing! Chains then covered the Jaguar to get the tainted victory. Chains then called to the back and the rest of Chaos Theory came running! Shinoba, Symon, Gideon and Chains beat down on the defenceless Jackie Lee! Suddenly, El Gambit came running to the ring to aid his friend! After nailing Symon and Shinoba with clotheslines, he hit a Rock of Gibraltar DDT on Chains, but as he got up, Gideon caught him with a barbed wire glove to the face! The beat down then commenced on El Gambit as well as Jackie Lee as Mrs. M could do nothing but scream and watch! Both unfortunate commentators got hit by a Symon Says from Symon, and numerous boken blows from Shinoba. Chains even took El G to the top rope and hit him with a Chainomatic in apparent retribution for his Rock of Gibraltar DDT! Chaos Theory left the two friends utterly beaten and unmoving in the middle of the ring!
WINNER BY PINFALL: Chains

As Jackie and El Gambit were stretchered out, ‘Timebomb’ by Godsmack hit, and out came Alex Hunt to join Mrs. M for commentary! He commented that the ambulance for Gambit and Jackie had better not scratch his love mobile! Chains then rejoined the commentary team, and Hunt looked a little worried that he had to sit between Chains and Mrs. M!

[Mrs. M]

In the parking lot, the ambulance speeds away. Meanwhile, Eclipse, smug at his attack on Dark Steel, heads to his car, and he sees Pimp standing there holding the United States title up at him. Eclipse, angered by the taunt, runs after Pimp who runs through a door, and Eclipse follows him. From nowhere, a lead pipe comes across his face, Pimp then takes the opportunity to lock in a Final Choke, while Eclipse is vulnerable. Dameon comes out of the shadows holding the lead pipe, with wicked smile on his face. Mrs. M complained that it no fair, but Hunt stated that you shouldn’t cross Strife’s Dungeon!

Singles Match: Nathan Williams V Symon
Symon started out utilising his speedy, light-heavyweight style to outwit and outwrestle the bigger Nathan. However, Nathan hit a massive clothesline from out of nowhere that floored the Chaos Theory member. Nathan dominated Symon for a short while with hard-hitting power moves including a stalling brainbuster that gained him a long two. Nathan went to set up Symon for a top rope move, but Symon reversed it with a sunset flip off the top buckle that nearly put the shocked Nathan away! Symon unleashed a series of dropkicks that saw Nathan flip over the top rope. Symon proceeded to hit a scintillating suicide dive through the ropes to floor the big man! However, Nathan recovered quickly and sent Symon crashing into the steel steps. He then pounded Symon’s head off them a few times for good measure! Rolling Symon back into the ring, Nathan was the victim of a low blow. Symon set up for the Symon Says, but Nathan reversed it into a reverse DDT that earned him a long two. Nathan then set up Symon for Extinction, but Gideon came running down the aisle, and the champion of the people dropped the Young Dragon in anticipation of an attack. However, Symon grabbed the distracted Nathan, and hooked him up in a small package. Grabbing a handful of tights, Symon managed to keep Nathan’s shoulders down for three! Gideon and Symon celebrated as a fuming Nathan kicked the bottom ropes and screamed in frustration!
WINNER BY PINFALL: Symon

Chains was commenting that Symon was a truly great wrestler, and leader when from out of nowhere he was cracked over the head with a Singapore kane! Jacob Helmsley had come through the crowd to assault him! Laying in a couple more blows with the kane, Jacob pulled Chains over the guardrail and the two brawled through the crowd! Mrs. M, who along with Hunt had had to take cover, commented that Chains has a lot of enemies. Hunt whimpered that guest commentators were a bad idea!

Fatal Fourway TV Title Match: 'Wild Card' Eddie Knoxville <c> V Diamond Sledge <c> V Jack 'Bengal' Tyler V Goldeneye
Eddie Knoxville certainly wasn’t Diamond’s friend when the bell rang! Knoxville sent Diamond sprawling with a clothesline from behind. However, he turned around into a double clothesline from the challengers. With Knoxville down, Tyler and Goldeneye looked at each other, and then started brawling with each other! Diamond and Knoxville then got it on on the other side of the ring. The match saw some impressive high fling moves from Tyler, Diamond and Knoxville, which contrasted sharply with Goldeneye’s powerhouse moves. The match saw a lot of match finishing moves, but there was always someone to break up the count. After about five minutes, from out of nowhere, Knoxville hit a big time Ace of Spades on Diamond! However, before he could go for the pin, Tyler hit an elbow smash on Knoxville, and Goldeneye followed it up with a High Times! Then, even though they appeared somewhat on the same page, Jack hit Goldeneye with a springboard dropkick, and went for the cover. However, the recovered Diamond broke it up with a running legdrop across the back of Tyler’s neck. As all the men recovered, the ref counted up to 9 before both Eddie and Diamond were up. Both men got up and charged at an opponent. Diamond speared Tyler and Knoxville speared Goldeneye. Both went for the cover at exactly the same time. The ref had no choice but to do simultaneous counts. However, he didn’t notice that Eddie had a handful of Goldeneye’s tights! As Mrs M cried that it was crazy that they both still champs, both Eddie and Diamond couldn’t believe they were both still dual champs! Eddie got so frustrated that he clocked Diamond with the title belt and stormed off.
WINNERS BY PINFALL: Eddie Knoxville & Diamond Sledge

[Mrs. M]

MAIN EVENT – US Title Match: Pimp Bizkit <c> V 'The Downfall' Rebellion
With Rebellion in the ring, Pimp came down with a microphone. He stated that neither he or Rebellion would fight tonight in respect of Sho Murakame. At this point, Mrs. M got up and stated that ‘her little’ Sho would want the show to go on and that they should wrestle in his honour, not refuse to wrestle in his honour and that that would be what he’d want. Rebellion sneered and still refused to wrestle. As he went to leave, Pimp grabbed him, turned him around, booted him in the gut and hit a Final Hooker! Going straight for the pin, Pimp looked to defend his title and honour Sho Murakame with the quickest victory in GZW history. Shockingly, Rebellion kicked out. Pimp pulled him up and rained in rights, but then Rebellion retaliated with some rights of his own. Rebellion set him up for the Downfall, but Pimp elbowed his way out and hit a savate kick on his stablemate. It was pretty obvious that the two friends were evenly matched, and the momentum went to and fro. Rebellion kicked out of a playground playa, but Pimp returned the favour by kicking out of a Revolt DDT! A frustrated Rebellion set up for the Downfall again, but once again Pimp elbowed his way out, and then took Rebellion by surprise and locked on his final choke! Rebellion flailed, but Pimp had it locked on perfectly, and the Downfall had to tap. Pimp released the hold, and offered a handshake. Wyldsyde faded as Rebellion looked at Pimp’s offer of a handshake and was contemplating whether or not to take it.
WINNER BY SUBMISSION: Pimp Bizkit

© 2002 – Infinite Dreamer Press

Contributions: Sean, Mike, James, Shinoba, Mark L – Thank you.