Post by Clancy McClean on Jun 3, 2004 13:48:31 GMT -6
JUST BUSINESS
OCCASIONAL HOTWIRE EDITORIAL
FROM CLANCY MC CLEAN
Simpletons rejoice! It is I, multi-billionaire Clancy Mc Clean. Yes, the guy that owned IGW. Yes, the guy that came to own a monopoly of indy feds during 2001-02. Yes, the guy that as a manager, led many fine competitors to championship gold. Need I say more? Of course not. I'll dive right in with today's topic… Crimson. The first GZW event of 2004, the event that marked the end of a six-month hiatus… To make things easier for you heading into the event, I presented a glossy preview of the whole extravaganza last week. My objective for this issue is simple. You're the Average Joe Wrestling Fan, you were at Crimson or saw it on TV. But it was all a little too much for you. You weren't quite able to grasp what was going on. You may have even broken into a sweat trying to comprehend the whole thing. Well fear not, as I am here to give an easy-to-follow review of the show, broken down into bite-sized chunks.
Amazing Dude vs. Jeff "The Icon" Adams
Who "The What" How? I've seen a million guys like him before… The Icon… The main event… The Legend… Fair enough if you're someone like Pimp Bizkit and your career means a damn. This kid, however, waltzes in. He makes short work of some jobber. So what? I certainly don't think such a match should earn one "Iconic" status… Completely unnecessary match, but I won't hold it against the show in my review. I'm generous like that, I make allowances…<br>Rating: 5/10. Average.
"Untouchable" Kaine vs. Adam Cage
This one went exactly as I predicted. A small package is not exactly a photo finish, but the match certainly served its purpose in Kaine's progressing further in the tournament. Hopefully Kaine's win will inspire Cage to either get his act together or just retire and make room for some new talent. Kaine deserved the win, but having to face either Seven or the Lone Gunman in the next round won't be such a walk in the park.
Rating: 6.5/10. Fast paced and exciting, but quite short.
"Dark Angel" Seven vs. "Lone Gunman" John Taylor
A very impressive comeback match for the veteran John Taylor. He proved he's still got it in terms of speed, agility and intelligence, and bulking up a bit has done him no harm. Seven, however, seemed a bit sloppy, not entirely focused. He missed some key opportunities that could've easily got him the win over the Gunman. A little one-sided, but a good match nonetheless. Taylor genuinely impressed me, and my prediction was right on the money. Too bad he's an unappreciative little beggar, though.
Rating: 7/10. Quite one-sided, yet a very promising comeback for the Gunman.
"Buzzing" Electric Sharpe vs. "Real Deal" Jimmy Williams
This one was as close as you can get. It really could've gone either way, with Sharpe's botched 720 being the definite turning point in the matchup. Williams kept his word and proved me wrong by getting the win. No sign of Paul Spartan or Pimp Bizkit though, which could've made things go a lot differently. Williams was damn impressive at the end with "Retribution", though. I may just change my mind on him…<br>Rating: 7.5/10. Intense, very competitive.
"Career Killer" Maxx Pain vs. Joshua "The Panther" Cleaver
Yawn. Maxx Pain is over the hill at this stage, and Cleaver's head is so high up in the clouds he's paying interest on it. I think my heart may have stopped during this one, I can't remember. It could've gone either way, but in the end Cleaver got a cheap victory. Too bad he'll be eaten alive by "The Real Deal" Jimmy Williams, though…<br>Rating: Blah. I'd give it a four, but I'm not that nice.
"First Round Pick" Mychael Lord vs. James Tanner
Did poor Tanner ever stand a chance? Lord, the biggest signing to the GZW Roster since Monarch, in his debut for the company… There was no way he was going to lose that match. Tanner put up a fight, but look at how far that got him. Tanner could fare well in the Television Tournament, but Lord is definitely a favourite to go all the way in the World Heavyweight title hunt. He was impressive, but come on, he had to be. You don't cause such a ruckus in hyping your first match not to back it up.
Rating: 7/10. Lord did what he had to do, he showed off his arsenal, he proved himself as a capable contender for the World Heavyweight Title. Too bad if it was at the expense of James Tanner.
"The Berserker" Paul Phoenix vs. Edwin MacPhisto
Unfortunately, this one was a bit of a snooze-a-thon in itself. We haven't heard from Phoenix in about a month, and we haven't heard from MacPhisto full stop. I predicted MacPhisto would pick up the victory, I was wrong. Phoenix progresses to face Mychael Lord next Crimson. Maybe if he can get his act together he could be the one to break the Gamebreaker's game. What a line.
Rating: 6/10. Served its purpose. Not much else to say.
Tonya Glory vs. "The Living Legend" Pimp Bizkit
Pimp showed exactly why he is the Living Legend, the Human Miracle… He overcame some underhanded tactics at the hands of Tonya Glory who, might I add, has no place in a wrestling ring. A valiant effort from Pimp Bizkit, easily the nest World Heavyweight Champion. All it took was the Final Choke, and she was gone. I am glad to say that Pimp and I are fellow Hotwire Columnists. Next stop, main event at Fallout: Return To Glory.
Rating: 8/10. What a match. What a competitor in Pimp Bizkit. 2004 will be his year, believe you me.
Nathaniel "Entertainment Franchise" Davis vs. Eddie Henchman
Any colleague of Pimp's instantly has my respect, and Eddie Henchman was no different. I don't know if he's going to be a mainstay or if it was just a once-off deal, but he was impressive. If it wasn't for the meddling of Monarch, Henchman would've breezed through without a scratch. Come on, the Pumping Moonsault… Davis' win is a shame, a real shame. Not to worry though, there's no chance that he's getting past Pimp, Monarch or no Monarch.
Rating: 8/10. Impressive display from Henchman. I'll hand it to Davis, he was able to keep up, and just about carry the match.
Overall, it was some show. Obviously Corzair isn't going to draw out the big guns right off the bat, booking people like Taylor, Pimp, Phoenix, Lord and Kaine against nobodies, but the foundations were firmly set. The tournament is really taking shape, with some potential A+ matches coming up; Paul Phoenix vs. Mychael Lord, John Taylor vs. Kaine and of course Pimp Bizkit vs. Nathaniel Davis. I'm not going to give a 'grade' as such, but I'll give credit where credit is due, and award the show a deserved four thumbs up. That's it. Until next time, I don't do endings.
CLANCY MC CLEAN, ESQ.
OCCASIONAL HOTWIRE EDITORIAL
FROM CLANCY MC CLEAN
Simpletons rejoice! It is I, multi-billionaire Clancy Mc Clean. Yes, the guy that owned IGW. Yes, the guy that came to own a monopoly of indy feds during 2001-02. Yes, the guy that as a manager, led many fine competitors to championship gold. Need I say more? Of course not. I'll dive right in with today's topic… Crimson. The first GZW event of 2004, the event that marked the end of a six-month hiatus… To make things easier for you heading into the event, I presented a glossy preview of the whole extravaganza last week. My objective for this issue is simple. You're the Average Joe Wrestling Fan, you were at Crimson or saw it on TV. But it was all a little too much for you. You weren't quite able to grasp what was going on. You may have even broken into a sweat trying to comprehend the whole thing. Well fear not, as I am here to give an easy-to-follow review of the show, broken down into bite-sized chunks.
Amazing Dude vs. Jeff "The Icon" Adams
Who "The What" How? I've seen a million guys like him before… The Icon… The main event… The Legend… Fair enough if you're someone like Pimp Bizkit and your career means a damn. This kid, however, waltzes in. He makes short work of some jobber. So what? I certainly don't think such a match should earn one "Iconic" status… Completely unnecessary match, but I won't hold it against the show in my review. I'm generous like that, I make allowances…<br>Rating: 5/10. Average.
"Untouchable" Kaine vs. Adam Cage
This one went exactly as I predicted. A small package is not exactly a photo finish, but the match certainly served its purpose in Kaine's progressing further in the tournament. Hopefully Kaine's win will inspire Cage to either get his act together or just retire and make room for some new talent. Kaine deserved the win, but having to face either Seven or the Lone Gunman in the next round won't be such a walk in the park.
Rating: 6.5/10. Fast paced and exciting, but quite short.
"Dark Angel" Seven vs. "Lone Gunman" John Taylor
A very impressive comeback match for the veteran John Taylor. He proved he's still got it in terms of speed, agility and intelligence, and bulking up a bit has done him no harm. Seven, however, seemed a bit sloppy, not entirely focused. He missed some key opportunities that could've easily got him the win over the Gunman. A little one-sided, but a good match nonetheless. Taylor genuinely impressed me, and my prediction was right on the money. Too bad he's an unappreciative little beggar, though.
Rating: 7/10. Quite one-sided, yet a very promising comeback for the Gunman.
"Buzzing" Electric Sharpe vs. "Real Deal" Jimmy Williams
This one was as close as you can get. It really could've gone either way, with Sharpe's botched 720 being the definite turning point in the matchup. Williams kept his word and proved me wrong by getting the win. No sign of Paul Spartan or Pimp Bizkit though, which could've made things go a lot differently. Williams was damn impressive at the end with "Retribution", though. I may just change my mind on him…<br>Rating: 7.5/10. Intense, very competitive.
"Career Killer" Maxx Pain vs. Joshua "The Panther" Cleaver
Yawn. Maxx Pain is over the hill at this stage, and Cleaver's head is so high up in the clouds he's paying interest on it. I think my heart may have stopped during this one, I can't remember. It could've gone either way, but in the end Cleaver got a cheap victory. Too bad he'll be eaten alive by "The Real Deal" Jimmy Williams, though…<br>Rating: Blah. I'd give it a four, but I'm not that nice.
"First Round Pick" Mychael Lord vs. James Tanner
Did poor Tanner ever stand a chance? Lord, the biggest signing to the GZW Roster since Monarch, in his debut for the company… There was no way he was going to lose that match. Tanner put up a fight, but look at how far that got him. Tanner could fare well in the Television Tournament, but Lord is definitely a favourite to go all the way in the World Heavyweight title hunt. He was impressive, but come on, he had to be. You don't cause such a ruckus in hyping your first match not to back it up.
Rating: 7/10. Lord did what he had to do, he showed off his arsenal, he proved himself as a capable contender for the World Heavyweight Title. Too bad if it was at the expense of James Tanner.
"The Berserker" Paul Phoenix vs. Edwin MacPhisto
Unfortunately, this one was a bit of a snooze-a-thon in itself. We haven't heard from Phoenix in about a month, and we haven't heard from MacPhisto full stop. I predicted MacPhisto would pick up the victory, I was wrong. Phoenix progresses to face Mychael Lord next Crimson. Maybe if he can get his act together he could be the one to break the Gamebreaker's game. What a line.
Rating: 6/10. Served its purpose. Not much else to say.
Tonya Glory vs. "The Living Legend" Pimp Bizkit
Pimp showed exactly why he is the Living Legend, the Human Miracle… He overcame some underhanded tactics at the hands of Tonya Glory who, might I add, has no place in a wrestling ring. A valiant effort from Pimp Bizkit, easily the nest World Heavyweight Champion. All it took was the Final Choke, and she was gone. I am glad to say that Pimp and I are fellow Hotwire Columnists. Next stop, main event at Fallout: Return To Glory.
Rating: 8/10. What a match. What a competitor in Pimp Bizkit. 2004 will be his year, believe you me.
Nathaniel "Entertainment Franchise" Davis vs. Eddie Henchman
Any colleague of Pimp's instantly has my respect, and Eddie Henchman was no different. I don't know if he's going to be a mainstay or if it was just a once-off deal, but he was impressive. If it wasn't for the meddling of Monarch, Henchman would've breezed through without a scratch. Come on, the Pumping Moonsault… Davis' win is a shame, a real shame. Not to worry though, there's no chance that he's getting past Pimp, Monarch or no Monarch.
Rating: 8/10. Impressive display from Henchman. I'll hand it to Davis, he was able to keep up, and just about carry the match.
Overall, it was some show. Obviously Corzair isn't going to draw out the big guns right off the bat, booking people like Taylor, Pimp, Phoenix, Lord and Kaine against nobodies, but the foundations were firmly set. The tournament is really taking shape, with some potential A+ matches coming up; Paul Phoenix vs. Mychael Lord, John Taylor vs. Kaine and of course Pimp Bizkit vs. Nathaniel Davis. I'm not going to give a 'grade' as such, but I'll give credit where credit is due, and award the show a deserved four thumbs up. That's it. Until next time, I don't do endings.
CLANCY MC CLEAN, ESQ.
