Post by Clancy McClean on Jun 5, 2004 12:17:35 GMT -6
JUST BUSINESS
Topical Hotwire Editorial From Clancy Mc Clean
Right bang on schedule, on rolls another luxurious edition of "Just Business" with myself, "The Renaissance Man" Clancy Mc Clean. Why, exactly, am I calling myself a Renaissance Man, you're wondering? I'll tell you exactly why, and more, in this week's 'Nicknames' special of "Just Business"! So put down whatever you may be eating or trying to shove up your nose, put on your best pair of lens-free reading glasses and get ready for some insights into the oft sweat-breakingly confusing field of Professional Wrestling!
I'll start off slow. A nickname can be "defined" as a descriptive name added to or replacing the actual name of a person, place or thing. In wrestling fan terms, it's a cool-sounding word, phrase or name put before or between a wrestler's name. Some fine examples include "The Living Legend" Pimp Bizkit, "The First" Paul Spartan or "The Future" Deacon Kane. Now I'd like to establish something. The above nicknames work, because the wrestlers deserve them. Joshua Cleaver couldn't go around claiming to be a "Living Legend", simply because he's done nothing to deserve it. Similarly, Edwin MacPhisto couldn't label himself "The First", as he's never actually been "The First" to achieve anything. And to the same token, Nathaniel Davis would be plain ignorant to call himself "The Future" as he's practically a granddad at this stage, his day in the sun is over.
So, you ask with dog-like enthusiasm, what does one have to do to earn a nickname, and how does one come up with said nickname? I'll give you a practical example. People refer to me as "The Renaissance Man", because quite frankly, that's what I am – "A man who has broad intellectual interests and is accomplished in areas of both the arts and the sciences." Albeit, you can substitute 'Business' for 'the arts' and 'Entertainment' for 'sciences', but it still rings true. The beauty of my nickname is that so many other 'sub nicknames' can stem from it. I could just as easily call myself "GZW's Most Affluent", "The Almighty Dollar", "The Connoisseur", "The Patron", "Wealth Personified"… You name it, I deserve it. But of course, I'd be just plain arrogant if I were to assume that everyone else in the company is as successful and accomplished as I. Not everyone has such a walk in the park when it comes to being given a nickname, and I'm here to help those in need…<br>
A wrestler not having a nickname can lead to a lot of problems. Firstly, a unique nickname is a good way for halfwit fans to differentiate between the wrestlers they pay to see week in, week out. I can tell you, if I put up a poster advertising one of GZW's recent house shows, and I highlighted the main event as "John Taylor vs. James Corbin", I'm sure 99% of the audience would think "John Taylor" was their congressman and "James Corbin" was their local shopkeeper. But throw the simple nicknames "Lone Gunman" and "Monarch" in their and WOW. Whole different story. What it boils down to is that nicknames are a great way of attracting attention to yourself. And attention is a great way of getting further in the company, and ultimately further in the industry.
Another problem faced to those unfortunate souls not talented enough to have earned a suitable nickname is that of not being taken seriously by the "bigger fish". Look at the current war of words between Joshua Cleaver and "The Real Deal" Jimmy Williams, for example. Sure, Cleaver's given himself about fifty different nicknames, but they mean nothing. Jimmy's got just one, "The Real Deal", but that makes all the difference. Jimmy proved he was the Real Deal, he proved he was more than just T-Rex's little brother. He proved to be a force to be reckoned with in the Extreme, United States and Intercontinental Divisions. That's what earned him his "Real Deal" status. Seeing the self-appointed "King" Joshua "The Panther" "Real Wrestling" Cleaver, though, something just doesn't add up. It just highlights another of the key problems with not being deserving enough to carry an authentic nickname - coming up with your own ones….
I've seen so many people in so many promotions suffering from this problem; BCW, DBW, IGW, FDW, IRWF… You name it. To 'stupid' it down a bit, when you give yourself a nickname, you're making a certain claim. I wouldn't call myself "The Strongest Woman In GZW", because there's no way I can back up that claim. But, you may be shocked to find out, people make similar such claims every day. On our very own Crimson last week, we saw some nobody calling himself "The Icon". You can be sure next week, some other jerk'll pop up calling himself "The Man", "The Best", blah blah blah. It's all so predictable, and it doesn't work. Unless, of course, you can back it up. If Dameon Fiery were to call himself "The Original TV Champion", that'd be fine. Sure, he's old and senile at this stage, but it's still true, so there's no problem. But Joshua Cleaver calling himself "GZW's New King" is simply not true, so it doesn't work. Yeah, maybe, if dogs drive speedboats, he might fluke his way to the final of the World Heavyweight Title tournament. He might fluke his way past Mychael Lord or Pimp Bizkit to win the gold… Then, and only then, should he call himself such a name. The same applies universally. The means everywhere.
But then there's also the problem of having achieved something worthy of a nickname, but the name itself sounding terrible. For example, Jason Makavelli. Yeah, he had his little streak of being the little "Overachieving Underdog", cheating larger opponents out of victories by any method possible, so he earned his little moniker of "Giantkiller". Fair enough, but it's not exactly the most original nickname ever, now is it? To top that off, my man Pimp had already earned his title of "Midcard Killer" at that stage, and to make matters even worse, Maxx Pain earned his "Career Killer" title subsequently, thanks to the most botched powerbomb in the industry. So that was three "…Killer" nicknames running at the same time. Please, a little originality. Sure, I'll give credit where it's due, they all earned their nicknames, but a bit of common sense would've told Jason and Maxx to step aside and let Pimp keep his intact.
So that was a little history lesson. But what about now? Have the superstars of today earned whatever nicknames they're carrying, and are the names original in the slightest? Let's have a look at some, shall we? I'll break it down as simply as I can. I'll use bright colours as well, so even someone like you can follow and pretend to understand.
Nathaniel Davis. "Entertainment Franchise", "Career Maker", "Mr. Entertainment". As much as I don't like the guy, it can be argued that he's earned such titles. I mean, come on… If you stay in the same old rut in the company from the very beginning, they're bound to hand you out something. While his younger colleagues Zac Sharp and Billy Bond were out winning the World Championship, he was given something of a 'consolation prize' in his various nicknames.
Maxx Pain. "The Career Killer". Yeah. He's been riding on that same thing for the past what, four years? Well done Maxx, you can deliver sloppy powerbombs which result in the permanent injury of opponents. Congratulations.
Seven. "The Dark Angel". Ooh.. mysterious. About as original as Maxx Pain catchphrase. I'm not gonna complain though, at least the guy looks the part. If I went around wearing white makeup and hanging around in graveyards all day, I'm sure I'd be calling myself something similar. Yawn.
Kaine. "The Untouchable". Now this, I like. The kid's arrogant, he's cocky, but first and foremost he knows he can back it up. He's not claiming to be the best at anything, he's just humbly pointing out the fact that he's the quickest member of the GZW Roster at the moment.
Paul Phoenix. "The Berserker". I'm gonna' steer pretty clear of anything too opinionated, this loon's got a bad reputation. A fitting nickname, to say the least.
John Taylor. "The Lone Gunman", "The Hitman Of HKWF", "The IRWF Assassin". The guy's got more nicknames than the city of Atlanta could count between them, not to mention all of those Mexican ones. Taylor's an odd one, but it has to be said that he's pretty much proved himself to be worthy of whatever title he's been given or that he gives himself. Ungrateful beggar.
Pimp Bizkit. What can I say? "Living Legend", anyone? "Human Miracle"? "Midcard Killer"? Call him what you will, he's simply amazing. He excels at everything he does. I'd consider him humble when it comes to giving himself nicknames. He knows he's the best in the business today, he's just too smart to spell it out in inverted commas until that World Heavyweight strap is fastened comfortably around his waist.
In closing, nicknames, if earned and used right, can be a valuable asset. A good nickname can turn your everyday talentless bum into a respected, feared and decorated competitor. But why should you miserable readers worry? The furthest you'll ever get in the wrestling industry is the Taco stand. So take what you've just read to heart, it may just win you an extra round of cheeseburgers during your weekly combined trip to McDonalds/Crimson viewing with your fellow boobs. Take care.
Clancy Mc Clean.
Topical Hotwire Editorial From Clancy Mc Clean
Right bang on schedule, on rolls another luxurious edition of "Just Business" with myself, "The Renaissance Man" Clancy Mc Clean. Why, exactly, am I calling myself a Renaissance Man, you're wondering? I'll tell you exactly why, and more, in this week's 'Nicknames' special of "Just Business"! So put down whatever you may be eating or trying to shove up your nose, put on your best pair of lens-free reading glasses and get ready for some insights into the oft sweat-breakingly confusing field of Professional Wrestling!
I'll start off slow. A nickname can be "defined" as a descriptive name added to or replacing the actual name of a person, place or thing. In wrestling fan terms, it's a cool-sounding word, phrase or name put before or between a wrestler's name. Some fine examples include "The Living Legend" Pimp Bizkit, "The First" Paul Spartan or "The Future" Deacon Kane. Now I'd like to establish something. The above nicknames work, because the wrestlers deserve them. Joshua Cleaver couldn't go around claiming to be a "Living Legend", simply because he's done nothing to deserve it. Similarly, Edwin MacPhisto couldn't label himself "The First", as he's never actually been "The First" to achieve anything. And to the same token, Nathaniel Davis would be plain ignorant to call himself "The Future" as he's practically a granddad at this stage, his day in the sun is over.
So, you ask with dog-like enthusiasm, what does one have to do to earn a nickname, and how does one come up with said nickname? I'll give you a practical example. People refer to me as "The Renaissance Man", because quite frankly, that's what I am – "A man who has broad intellectual interests and is accomplished in areas of both the arts and the sciences." Albeit, you can substitute 'Business' for 'the arts' and 'Entertainment' for 'sciences', but it still rings true. The beauty of my nickname is that so many other 'sub nicknames' can stem from it. I could just as easily call myself "GZW's Most Affluent", "The Almighty Dollar", "The Connoisseur", "The Patron", "Wealth Personified"… You name it, I deserve it. But of course, I'd be just plain arrogant if I were to assume that everyone else in the company is as successful and accomplished as I. Not everyone has such a walk in the park when it comes to being given a nickname, and I'm here to help those in need…<br>
A wrestler not having a nickname can lead to a lot of problems. Firstly, a unique nickname is a good way for halfwit fans to differentiate between the wrestlers they pay to see week in, week out. I can tell you, if I put up a poster advertising one of GZW's recent house shows, and I highlighted the main event as "John Taylor vs. James Corbin", I'm sure 99% of the audience would think "John Taylor" was their congressman and "James Corbin" was their local shopkeeper. But throw the simple nicknames "Lone Gunman" and "Monarch" in their and WOW. Whole different story. What it boils down to is that nicknames are a great way of attracting attention to yourself. And attention is a great way of getting further in the company, and ultimately further in the industry.
Another problem faced to those unfortunate souls not talented enough to have earned a suitable nickname is that of not being taken seriously by the "bigger fish". Look at the current war of words between Joshua Cleaver and "The Real Deal" Jimmy Williams, for example. Sure, Cleaver's given himself about fifty different nicknames, but they mean nothing. Jimmy's got just one, "The Real Deal", but that makes all the difference. Jimmy proved he was the Real Deal, he proved he was more than just T-Rex's little brother. He proved to be a force to be reckoned with in the Extreme, United States and Intercontinental Divisions. That's what earned him his "Real Deal" status. Seeing the self-appointed "King" Joshua "The Panther" "Real Wrestling" Cleaver, though, something just doesn't add up. It just highlights another of the key problems with not being deserving enough to carry an authentic nickname - coming up with your own ones….
I've seen so many people in so many promotions suffering from this problem; BCW, DBW, IGW, FDW, IRWF… You name it. To 'stupid' it down a bit, when you give yourself a nickname, you're making a certain claim. I wouldn't call myself "The Strongest Woman In GZW", because there's no way I can back up that claim. But, you may be shocked to find out, people make similar such claims every day. On our very own Crimson last week, we saw some nobody calling himself "The Icon". You can be sure next week, some other jerk'll pop up calling himself "The Man", "The Best", blah blah blah. It's all so predictable, and it doesn't work. Unless, of course, you can back it up. If Dameon Fiery were to call himself "The Original TV Champion", that'd be fine. Sure, he's old and senile at this stage, but it's still true, so there's no problem. But Joshua Cleaver calling himself "GZW's New King" is simply not true, so it doesn't work. Yeah, maybe, if dogs drive speedboats, he might fluke his way to the final of the World Heavyweight Title tournament. He might fluke his way past Mychael Lord or Pimp Bizkit to win the gold… Then, and only then, should he call himself such a name. The same applies universally. The means everywhere.
But then there's also the problem of having achieved something worthy of a nickname, but the name itself sounding terrible. For example, Jason Makavelli. Yeah, he had his little streak of being the little "Overachieving Underdog", cheating larger opponents out of victories by any method possible, so he earned his little moniker of "Giantkiller". Fair enough, but it's not exactly the most original nickname ever, now is it? To top that off, my man Pimp had already earned his title of "Midcard Killer" at that stage, and to make matters even worse, Maxx Pain earned his "Career Killer" title subsequently, thanks to the most botched powerbomb in the industry. So that was three "…Killer" nicknames running at the same time. Please, a little originality. Sure, I'll give credit where it's due, they all earned their nicknames, but a bit of common sense would've told Jason and Maxx to step aside and let Pimp keep his intact.
So that was a little history lesson. But what about now? Have the superstars of today earned whatever nicknames they're carrying, and are the names original in the slightest? Let's have a look at some, shall we? I'll break it down as simply as I can. I'll use bright colours as well, so even someone like you can follow and pretend to understand.
Nathaniel Davis. "Entertainment Franchise", "Career Maker", "Mr. Entertainment". As much as I don't like the guy, it can be argued that he's earned such titles. I mean, come on… If you stay in the same old rut in the company from the very beginning, they're bound to hand you out something. While his younger colleagues Zac Sharp and Billy Bond were out winning the World Championship, he was given something of a 'consolation prize' in his various nicknames.
Maxx Pain. "The Career Killer". Yeah. He's been riding on that same thing for the past what, four years? Well done Maxx, you can deliver sloppy powerbombs which result in the permanent injury of opponents. Congratulations.
Seven. "The Dark Angel". Ooh.. mysterious. About as original as Maxx Pain catchphrase. I'm not gonna complain though, at least the guy looks the part. If I went around wearing white makeup and hanging around in graveyards all day, I'm sure I'd be calling myself something similar. Yawn.
Kaine. "The Untouchable". Now this, I like. The kid's arrogant, he's cocky, but first and foremost he knows he can back it up. He's not claiming to be the best at anything, he's just humbly pointing out the fact that he's the quickest member of the GZW Roster at the moment.
Paul Phoenix. "The Berserker". I'm gonna' steer pretty clear of anything too opinionated, this loon's got a bad reputation. A fitting nickname, to say the least.
John Taylor. "The Lone Gunman", "The Hitman Of HKWF", "The IRWF Assassin". The guy's got more nicknames than the city of Atlanta could count between them, not to mention all of those Mexican ones. Taylor's an odd one, but it has to be said that he's pretty much proved himself to be worthy of whatever title he's been given or that he gives himself. Ungrateful beggar.
Pimp Bizkit. What can I say? "Living Legend", anyone? "Human Miracle"? "Midcard Killer"? Call him what you will, he's simply amazing. He excels at everything he does. I'd consider him humble when it comes to giving himself nicknames. He knows he's the best in the business today, he's just too smart to spell it out in inverted commas until that World Heavyweight strap is fastened comfortably around his waist.
In closing, nicknames, if earned and used right, can be a valuable asset. A good nickname can turn your everyday talentless bum into a respected, feared and decorated competitor. But why should you miserable readers worry? The furthest you'll ever get in the wrestling industry is the Taco stand. So take what you've just read to heart, it may just win you an extra round of cheeseburgers during your weekly combined trip to McDonalds/Crimson viewing with your fellow boobs. Take care.
Clancy Mc Clean.
