Post by Clancy McClean on Jun 11, 2004 13:50:53 GMT -6
[glow=limegreen,5,500]Just Business[/glow]
TOPICAL HOTWIRE OPINION WITH CLANCY MC CLEAN
What do you see, what do you hear? Once again you plebeians are undeservedly graced with my Godlike presence. I can just hear you now, gargling the last of your beef cola, agitated at the fact that you've eaten the last of your bucket of sausages. You're still hungry. Fortunately for you, I have a fine meal prepared. Knowledge is on the menu. So wipe the sweat and excess food from your face and hair and I'll get down to business. JUST BUSINESS, that is. That's what's called a "pun" by the way. It's a play on words. Make note of that on your hand or underpants.
Anyway, enough with the formalities. This week, I'll be discussing the art of the Promo. Yes, those little interviews and segments you see on GZW TV all the time. Don't ask me how, why or when, but for some reason, this simple task seems lost on some of GZW's 'Talent'. The fundamentals of a Promo are simple… You try to out-talk your opponent. That really is all there is to it. At least that's all there should be to it. Sure, by all means interact with fans, friends, family, whoever. But that is not to say you grab your little GZW-issue camera, hook it up, and record you and your wife discussing your shopping list over a plate of spaghetti Bolognese!
One of the key elements to an effective promo is trash-talking. This can be defined as "speaking disparagingly, often insultingly or abusively about another person or group". Now before you go shaking that head of yours and unleashing an unholy plague of lice on an unsuspecting world, I'll break it down for you. Basically, it's when Wrestler A calls Wrestler B names, until Wrestler B can take it no longer and unloads with a flurry of random insults. The cycle can repeat time after time, and this leads to tediousness. And tediousness leads to poor ratings. Poor ratings leads to stockholders pulling out of the company and then BAM! Where'd we be then?
And that is why I'm writing this column. I'm not going to sit here and remind James Tanner to actually mention his opponent whilst supposedly cutting a promo for the good of my health. It's not that I'll get pleasure from mailing Maxx Pain a dictionary and signing him up for a Late-Learners English For Beginners class… No, I'm writing this for the good of the company. For the good of the industry, actually. Once every member of the GZW Roster gets a peak at this, they'll get a wake-up call. They'll realise the error of their ways and acknowledge me as their saviour, their philanthropist.
Now that I've made my mission statement abundantly clear to even the lackest wit of a reader, I can get to the good stuff. Watching GZW TV this past week, I was bored. From the comfort of my stretch-stretch limousine, I think I may have drifted off once or twice. I'm not surprised that the Command Suite has given the go-ahead to rehash archived footage, just to distract viewers from the utter balderdash that some of the so-called 'talent' are coming up with. Sure, we've got some of the greatest competitors in the history of the sport in our ranks, but it would appear that expecting some top notch mic skills from them may be a lost cause. In my day, a champion was someone who would trash-talk his opponent into next week, could get it done in the ring, then after it all go backstage and trash-talk his opponent some more.
The sad truth is that such competitors come few and far between, and there are really only a handful of them on the GZW Roster at the moment. To any of the 'talent' reading this, don't get upset. I'm not pointing out your flaws to pass the time, but as I've already stated, it's just I, "The Philanthropist" Clancy Mc Clean's way of raising the bar a little, to shake off whatever 'mic rust' you may have gathered in your six-month absence. I'm doing this for GZW, for every one of the fans.
Let's take a couple of case studies, then, shall we? Now calm down, you won't need a pencil and trying to squeeze into your old school uniform would be simply nauseating. I mean let's take a closer look at some individual wrestlers, discuss and analyse their promos. Does that sound like too much for you? Of course it does, but keep smiling and nodding along and you'll be fine.
The first of these case studies is a man that has it all. This man has the perfect balance between in-ring and mic skills, and thus I will use him as the highest notch on the 'height chart', if you will. This man is none other than "The Human Miracle", Pimp Bizkit. For years, Pimp would participate in the most spectacular of matches, raising the bar in the ring and capturing many titles on the way. But incredibly, there's more to him. Not only can "The Living Legend" destroy an opponent with very little effort, he has a knack for getting under an opponent's skin whilst cutting a promo. I guarantee you'll never see "The Midcard Killer" pulling a Maxx Pain and call his opponent mindless names from "MOTHERFUCKING SON OF A BITCH" to "BITCH OF A SON MOTHERFUCKING BITCH"…<br>
The reason is a simple one. Such 'trash-talking' simply doesn't work. I can tell you that if Maxx Pain and Pimp Bizkit were to have a one-on-one war of words, it'd be Pimp coming out on top. Pimp wouldn't call Maxx a son-of-a-bitch, he'd reopen old wounds by bringing up how Maxx, for all his efforts, could never beat a three foot something, fifty five pound kid of a TV Champion, Jason Makavelli. Pimp wouldn't stop there, he'd bring up the whole Maxx Pain endorsed Maxxy-Pads fiasco. If Pimp were to say such things to the "Career Killer", it would certainly have an adverse effect on poor Maxx's self-confidence. That is all down to one reason…<br>
In my book, there is one golden rule when it comes to truly effective trash-talking. And quite frankly, that is making it personal. To really get under someone's skin, you've got to dig deep through the annals of history. It is a long and "arduous" task, but if you persist, you are sure to find something worthwhile. For the simpler folk, that means asking around, renting old tapes, reading old magazines. There's pure gold to be found if you look in the right places…
Obviously, not everyone can be the whole enchilada like Pimp, so allowances can be made. As a general rule of thumb, if a wrestler either has mic skills or can put on a good match, he'll get on fine. A brief glance through title histories provides a nearly endless supply of examples. The aforementioned Jason Makavelli, for instance… Undefeated Television Champion, Ring Of Honour Inductee and what? The kid was a shrimp. He couldn't wrestle his way out his manager Helen's bra if he tried. But the kid had a following, which inevitably led him to success. And how did he get that following, you aspiring fan favourites lying in your dogbeds wonder droolingly? Yep. You guessed it. Mic skills. But does it work both ways?
Of course it does. Look at someone like Maxx Pain. The man couldn't make a sensible argument if he tried. But he was obviously doing something right in the ring as he's held the TV Title three times and defeated Zachary Sharp for the World Heavyweight Championship. What about other 'superstars', then? Paul Spartan seems like a good enough example. In the EWO as Kage, the man was a fun-loving always-accompanied-by-groupies kinda guy. Could he talk? Yeah, if he could get Random Girl Number 3 away from him for long enough. As Spartan, he comes to the GZW and openly admits he isn't much of a talker. But that's okay, he just happened to be the most sadistic animal to ever step foot in a GZW ring.
If my theory that you people have the attention span of a fish is unfortunately proved to be wrong, you may recall last week that in my discussion of Nicknames, I said it all boils down to exposure. It's the exact same with cutting a promo. Essentially, when a wrestler takes the time to cut a promo for GZW TV, he is trying to get noticed from the fans. He wants the exposure, which can then lead to title shots and stardom and whathaveyou. I say that the fans aren't your target audience. I am. The fans are just everyday people, those same everyday people that read this article and scrub toilets for a living. I, on the other hand, am a recognized and respected figure in Professional Wrestling. I say that it's me you should be trying to impress. After all, I'm the one that writes this column. I break down and analyse whatever I want to, and ultimately that goes on to the fans in fun-sized chunks. Think of me as something of a middleman. If you, yes YOU, aspiring midcarder number 54, play your cards right and hit the right notes, you may be looking at a very positive Just Business write-up in the near future.
Think about it, morons.
Clancy Mc Clean.[/i][/size]
TOPICAL HOTWIRE OPINION WITH CLANCY MC CLEAN
What do you see, what do you hear? Once again you plebeians are undeservedly graced with my Godlike presence. I can just hear you now, gargling the last of your beef cola, agitated at the fact that you've eaten the last of your bucket of sausages. You're still hungry. Fortunately for you, I have a fine meal prepared. Knowledge is on the menu. So wipe the sweat and excess food from your face and hair and I'll get down to business. JUST BUSINESS, that is. That's what's called a "pun" by the way. It's a play on words. Make note of that on your hand or underpants.
Anyway, enough with the formalities. This week, I'll be discussing the art of the Promo. Yes, those little interviews and segments you see on GZW TV all the time. Don't ask me how, why or when, but for some reason, this simple task seems lost on some of GZW's 'Talent'. The fundamentals of a Promo are simple… You try to out-talk your opponent. That really is all there is to it. At least that's all there should be to it. Sure, by all means interact with fans, friends, family, whoever. But that is not to say you grab your little GZW-issue camera, hook it up, and record you and your wife discussing your shopping list over a plate of spaghetti Bolognese!
One of the key elements to an effective promo is trash-talking. This can be defined as "speaking disparagingly, often insultingly or abusively about another person or group". Now before you go shaking that head of yours and unleashing an unholy plague of lice on an unsuspecting world, I'll break it down for you. Basically, it's when Wrestler A calls Wrestler B names, until Wrestler B can take it no longer and unloads with a flurry of random insults. The cycle can repeat time after time, and this leads to tediousness. And tediousness leads to poor ratings. Poor ratings leads to stockholders pulling out of the company and then BAM! Where'd we be then?
And that is why I'm writing this column. I'm not going to sit here and remind James Tanner to actually mention his opponent whilst supposedly cutting a promo for the good of my health. It's not that I'll get pleasure from mailing Maxx Pain a dictionary and signing him up for a Late-Learners English For Beginners class… No, I'm writing this for the good of the company. For the good of the industry, actually. Once every member of the GZW Roster gets a peak at this, they'll get a wake-up call. They'll realise the error of their ways and acknowledge me as their saviour, their philanthropist.
Now that I've made my mission statement abundantly clear to even the lackest wit of a reader, I can get to the good stuff. Watching GZW TV this past week, I was bored. From the comfort of my stretch-stretch limousine, I think I may have drifted off once or twice. I'm not surprised that the Command Suite has given the go-ahead to rehash archived footage, just to distract viewers from the utter balderdash that some of the so-called 'talent' are coming up with. Sure, we've got some of the greatest competitors in the history of the sport in our ranks, but it would appear that expecting some top notch mic skills from them may be a lost cause. In my day, a champion was someone who would trash-talk his opponent into next week, could get it done in the ring, then after it all go backstage and trash-talk his opponent some more.
The sad truth is that such competitors come few and far between, and there are really only a handful of them on the GZW Roster at the moment. To any of the 'talent' reading this, don't get upset. I'm not pointing out your flaws to pass the time, but as I've already stated, it's just I, "The Philanthropist" Clancy Mc Clean's way of raising the bar a little, to shake off whatever 'mic rust' you may have gathered in your six-month absence. I'm doing this for GZW, for every one of the fans.
Let's take a couple of case studies, then, shall we? Now calm down, you won't need a pencil and trying to squeeze into your old school uniform would be simply nauseating. I mean let's take a closer look at some individual wrestlers, discuss and analyse their promos. Does that sound like too much for you? Of course it does, but keep smiling and nodding along and you'll be fine.
The first of these case studies is a man that has it all. This man has the perfect balance between in-ring and mic skills, and thus I will use him as the highest notch on the 'height chart', if you will. This man is none other than "The Human Miracle", Pimp Bizkit. For years, Pimp would participate in the most spectacular of matches, raising the bar in the ring and capturing many titles on the way. But incredibly, there's more to him. Not only can "The Living Legend" destroy an opponent with very little effort, he has a knack for getting under an opponent's skin whilst cutting a promo. I guarantee you'll never see "The Midcard Killer" pulling a Maxx Pain and call his opponent mindless names from "MOTHERFUCKING SON OF A BITCH" to "BITCH OF A SON MOTHERFUCKING BITCH"…<br>
The reason is a simple one. Such 'trash-talking' simply doesn't work. I can tell you that if Maxx Pain and Pimp Bizkit were to have a one-on-one war of words, it'd be Pimp coming out on top. Pimp wouldn't call Maxx a son-of-a-bitch, he'd reopen old wounds by bringing up how Maxx, for all his efforts, could never beat a three foot something, fifty five pound kid of a TV Champion, Jason Makavelli. Pimp wouldn't stop there, he'd bring up the whole Maxx Pain endorsed Maxxy-Pads fiasco. If Pimp were to say such things to the "Career Killer", it would certainly have an adverse effect on poor Maxx's self-confidence. That is all down to one reason…<br>
In my book, there is one golden rule when it comes to truly effective trash-talking. And quite frankly, that is making it personal. To really get under someone's skin, you've got to dig deep through the annals of history. It is a long and "arduous" task, but if you persist, you are sure to find something worthwhile. For the simpler folk, that means asking around, renting old tapes, reading old magazines. There's pure gold to be found if you look in the right places…
Obviously, not everyone can be the whole enchilada like Pimp, so allowances can be made. As a general rule of thumb, if a wrestler either has mic skills or can put on a good match, he'll get on fine. A brief glance through title histories provides a nearly endless supply of examples. The aforementioned Jason Makavelli, for instance… Undefeated Television Champion, Ring Of Honour Inductee and what? The kid was a shrimp. He couldn't wrestle his way out his manager Helen's bra if he tried. But the kid had a following, which inevitably led him to success. And how did he get that following, you aspiring fan favourites lying in your dogbeds wonder droolingly? Yep. You guessed it. Mic skills. But does it work both ways?
Of course it does. Look at someone like Maxx Pain. The man couldn't make a sensible argument if he tried. But he was obviously doing something right in the ring as he's held the TV Title three times and defeated Zachary Sharp for the World Heavyweight Championship. What about other 'superstars', then? Paul Spartan seems like a good enough example. In the EWO as Kage, the man was a fun-loving always-accompanied-by-groupies kinda guy. Could he talk? Yeah, if he could get Random Girl Number 3 away from him for long enough. As Spartan, he comes to the GZW and openly admits he isn't much of a talker. But that's okay, he just happened to be the most sadistic animal to ever step foot in a GZW ring.
If my theory that you people have the attention span of a fish is unfortunately proved to be wrong, you may recall last week that in my discussion of Nicknames, I said it all boils down to exposure. It's the exact same with cutting a promo. Essentially, when a wrestler takes the time to cut a promo for GZW TV, he is trying to get noticed from the fans. He wants the exposure, which can then lead to title shots and stardom and whathaveyou. I say that the fans aren't your target audience. I am. The fans are just everyday people, those same everyday people that read this article and scrub toilets for a living. I, on the other hand, am a recognized and respected figure in Professional Wrestling. I say that it's me you should be trying to impress. After all, I'm the one that writes this column. I break down and analyse whatever I want to, and ultimately that goes on to the fans in fun-sized chunks. Think of me as something of a middleman. If you, yes YOU, aspiring midcarder number 54, play your cards right and hit the right notes, you may be looking at a very positive Just Business write-up in the near future.
Think about it, morons.
Clancy Mc Clean.[/i][/size]
