Post by Clancy McClean on Jun 24, 2004 15:17:12 GMT -6
[glow=limegreen,3,300]Just Business[/glow]
TOPICAL HOTWIRE OPINION WITH CLANCY MC CLEAN
Attention, whatchamacallits.
The path to enlightenment culminates here. As always, I am the unparalleled Clancy McClean, and I am here to help you. I know what you're thinking; "Mr. McClean, sir, you've covered so much already… What else could you possibly have to discuss?" Something of an ignorant, poverty-stricken question, but regardless… I'll tell you exactly what else, as I get down to business… JUST BUSINESS, that is. On a side note, that's got to be quote-of-the-year, right there.
This week, as something of a follow-up to last week's "The Future", I'll be discussing, in wealthy, handsome and intellectual detail, the four remaining competitors in the World Heavyweight Championship Tournament – Pimp Bizkit, John Taylor, Mychael Lord and Joshua Cleaver. I'm sure you're wondering what I could possibly have to discuss about them… I mean, you've already got the T-Shirts, Calendars and Video Games, right? You know all the catchphrases, stats, moves? Forget it.
I'm here to discuss… to "analyse", if you will, what makes each of them tick, what their chances are at realistically going all the way, what strategies they do, should and should not have, and so much more that if I told you now, you'd start climbing up the walls like the imbeciles that you are.
As per usual, I'll start off with the extraordinary Pimp Bizkit. Of the four contenders, he's the one that can get it done without a shadow of a doubt. For years, the man ruled the Intercontinental Division, and if it weren't for biased booking, he'd already be a multiple time World Heavyweight Champion. He has the most GZW experience, he undoubtedly knows what to expect. To get this far in the tournament, he's had to get through both Tonya Glory and Nathaniel Davis. Tonya Glory, the only female competing in the GZW at this moment in time, was no match for Pimp and his cataclysmic Final Choke. If you ask me, which of course you do, Pimp did the clueless woman a favour. He put her in her place like the gentleman he is. And so she shall stay in the Television Division for all eternity. That'll teach her to try to villainize the Human Miracle.
Nathaniel Davis, however, was of course a much taller order. But, as always, the Living Legend was able to prevail. I find it a magnificent testament to Pimp's bravery and courage, that despite interference from Monarch, he was able to pull through and progress to the semi-final. That, to me, was a real gut check. Monarch has been on TV for weeks, conveying that he would be in the corner of Nathaniel Davis. How gutsy is the Midcard Killer? He knew full well that James "Monarch Corbin", former GZW Heavyweight Champion, Tag Team Champion… former CCW Triple Crown Champion, for that matter, would be in the corner of the Entertainment Franchise… Pimp knew this, but like the true gladiator he is, he came out anyway, he was victorious. But not only did he win, he won in style, with Davis' own Entertainment Center. Let me tell you, Pimp is on top form, it'll be hard to imagine anyone overcoming him.
But, if anyone can… It has to be Mychael "The Hype" Lord. As I've documented for weeks now, the man is a former HKWF World Heavyweight Champion. Not content with the exposure he was getting, or not getting as the case may be, in Hong Kong, he willingly dropped the belt and was the first to sign with the revamped Ground Zero Wrestling. Obviously, he is a capable headliner, but surprisingly he has been booked as more of a mid-carder thus far. Another tidbit worth whipping out the magic markers for is that he was trained by the great Michael Irons. The who, what? Michael… Irons… The man that trained James "Monarch" Corbin…? One of the greatest and most decorated international superstars of all time? Forget it. Anyway, Lord has been impressive, to say the least, so far. After out-and-out dominating James Tanner in the first round, he was pit against former UWA World Heavyweight Champion Paul Phoenix on this past Crimson.
Phoenix is no joke himself… The guy's a loon, but he can get it done both in the ring and on the mic… When he feels like it, that is. After falling into silence for the past month or so, nobody was quite sure what to expect of the "Berserker" when he went one on one with the Gamebreaker. What ensued was a fine example of technical wrestling, and Phoenix himself was more than industrious, but obviously Lord came out with the win. In my valuable opinion, I think that if Paul Phoenix had been placed in Bracket 1 from the start, he could realistically be in the place of John Taylor or Joshua Cleaver. But… we'll never know. And I'm talking about Lord. The man has a lot going for him; he's young, he's got experience at the top, he's talented both in the ring and on the mic. He's got the makings of a GZW World Heavyweight Champion, and even I'll admit that my man Pimp'll have his hands full with this one…<br>
Which brings me on to John Taylor, the "Lone Gunman"… The man's a former GZW Light Heavyweight Champion, but that alone simply won't cut it at the level he's currently vying for. For most people, their big problem with taking this guy seriously is that he is, or was, a quitter. It's often been said behind closed doors, that if he'd have just waited for nature to take his course, he'd have been competing in the Intercontinental and/or Heavyweight Divisions before too long. But oh, no, he couldn't possibly pay his dues in the company like Pimp, Nathan Williams, Sean Fiery and Billy Bond did before him. That, to me, is his one major flaws. Whether he'll admit it or not for image purposes, he can be great on the mic, and undeniably he is one of the most sound mat technicians working today… But a lot of the time, he is simply disregarded by peers and critics alike, which may hurt him ultimately if he is unsuccessful this time around, he may just descend down to Midcard status.
What has he done to get where he is now, though? He's beaten "The Dark Angel" Seven and "The Untouchable" Kaine. Of the four remaining competitors, many feel that the Gunman has had the easiest route, in that he has been pit against two relatively new competitors to the GZW. Regardless of that, he has been impressive on both occasions, but it has to be noted that, Seven is a much larger, power based wrestler whilst Kaine is smaller than the Gunman, something of a luchador. My point being that Joshua Cleaver will be his first opponent in the tournament to be somewhat similar in both stature and size. On a side note, I can confirm that John Taylor's recent attempt to physically intimidate me hasn't gone unnoticed, and was frowned upon, to say the least, in the command suite. He'd want to watch himself…<br>
Last, and probably least, we've got Joshua Cleaver. The cocky youngster's been a dark horse thus far, there's no denying that, but his luck may be about to end. As much as he is a quitter, John Taylor may have hit the nail on the head with something he said recently… Joshua Cleaver is perhaps the most inexperienced competitor of the entire tournament… On his first and only GZW PPV appearance, he lost to Shane Ryder and seemingly vanished off the face of the earth. Is that the type of man you idiots would pay to see headlining a pay per view? Actually, scratch that. For the most part, you idiots would pay to see K-9 urinating on Gangzta as a Pay Per View main event if that meant you could sit around scoffing beef-flavour donuts. I'll answer for you, then… No. Of course not. Not a chance. Yeah, both he and Taylor have gotten this far. And obviously Taylor isn't a first-choice poster boy headliner, but he at least has some experience, he can get it done when he needs to. I'm all for backing the underdog, but even I have to draw an expensive, stylish line in the sand somewhere.
Don't get me wrong, the "King" has an impressive submission victory over Jimmy Williams, one of the odds-on favourites of the whole thing, under his belt. That says something about his ability, regardless of what language you speak. And no, American doesn't count. What it says is that the youngster has the ability. What his promos say, whenever he feels like cutting them, is that he is cocky and arrogant. As I've already document, that sort of carry-on boads well for someone like Pimp Bizkit because he's proven himself time and time again. However, it just might come around to bite Cleaver in the ass. By no means did the "Panther" dominate his match with Jimmy Williams. It could've just as easily gone in the Real Deal's favour. Cleaver realising that sooner rather than later would certainly do him no harm in progressing to the final at Fallout: Return To Glory.
In closing, we are looking at four interesting personalities, two of which will fall by the wayside this upcoming Crimson. The remaining two will then go on to the Pay Per View to compete for the GZW World Heavyweight Championship. To get something of a preview, I would suggest that you keep an eye on the idiot box next Monday night for the first ever Throwdown show coming to you live on Channel 594. You wonder why? Because booked for that show is a tag team match featuring the aforementioned four competitors. Can they coexist? Will each man be at his partner's throat? Come to think of it, you people probably couldn't tell the difference, thus I suggest you get a copy of the Throwdown Report that'll no doubt be circulating the pages of Hotwire sometime next week. Also on the show, I'll be making a groundbreaking announcement that you simply can't afford to miss.
Until next time, simpletons… I succeed at everything.
Clancy McClean.
TOPICAL HOTWIRE OPINION WITH CLANCY MC CLEAN
Attention, whatchamacallits.
The path to enlightenment culminates here. As always, I am the unparalleled Clancy McClean, and I am here to help you. I know what you're thinking; "Mr. McClean, sir, you've covered so much already… What else could you possibly have to discuss?" Something of an ignorant, poverty-stricken question, but regardless… I'll tell you exactly what else, as I get down to business… JUST BUSINESS, that is. On a side note, that's got to be quote-of-the-year, right there.
This week, as something of a follow-up to last week's "The Future", I'll be discussing, in wealthy, handsome and intellectual detail, the four remaining competitors in the World Heavyweight Championship Tournament – Pimp Bizkit, John Taylor, Mychael Lord and Joshua Cleaver. I'm sure you're wondering what I could possibly have to discuss about them… I mean, you've already got the T-Shirts, Calendars and Video Games, right? You know all the catchphrases, stats, moves? Forget it.
I'm here to discuss… to "analyse", if you will, what makes each of them tick, what their chances are at realistically going all the way, what strategies they do, should and should not have, and so much more that if I told you now, you'd start climbing up the walls like the imbeciles that you are.
As per usual, I'll start off with the extraordinary Pimp Bizkit. Of the four contenders, he's the one that can get it done without a shadow of a doubt. For years, the man ruled the Intercontinental Division, and if it weren't for biased booking, he'd already be a multiple time World Heavyweight Champion. He has the most GZW experience, he undoubtedly knows what to expect. To get this far in the tournament, he's had to get through both Tonya Glory and Nathaniel Davis. Tonya Glory, the only female competing in the GZW at this moment in time, was no match for Pimp and his cataclysmic Final Choke. If you ask me, which of course you do, Pimp did the clueless woman a favour. He put her in her place like the gentleman he is. And so she shall stay in the Television Division for all eternity. That'll teach her to try to villainize the Human Miracle.
Nathaniel Davis, however, was of course a much taller order. But, as always, the Living Legend was able to prevail. I find it a magnificent testament to Pimp's bravery and courage, that despite interference from Monarch, he was able to pull through and progress to the semi-final. That, to me, was a real gut check. Monarch has been on TV for weeks, conveying that he would be in the corner of Nathaniel Davis. How gutsy is the Midcard Killer? He knew full well that James "Monarch Corbin", former GZW Heavyweight Champion, Tag Team Champion… former CCW Triple Crown Champion, for that matter, would be in the corner of the Entertainment Franchise… Pimp knew this, but like the true gladiator he is, he came out anyway, he was victorious. But not only did he win, he won in style, with Davis' own Entertainment Center. Let me tell you, Pimp is on top form, it'll be hard to imagine anyone overcoming him.
But, if anyone can… It has to be Mychael "The Hype" Lord. As I've documented for weeks now, the man is a former HKWF World Heavyweight Champion. Not content with the exposure he was getting, or not getting as the case may be, in Hong Kong, he willingly dropped the belt and was the first to sign with the revamped Ground Zero Wrestling. Obviously, he is a capable headliner, but surprisingly he has been booked as more of a mid-carder thus far. Another tidbit worth whipping out the magic markers for is that he was trained by the great Michael Irons. The who, what? Michael… Irons… The man that trained James "Monarch" Corbin…? One of the greatest and most decorated international superstars of all time? Forget it. Anyway, Lord has been impressive, to say the least, so far. After out-and-out dominating James Tanner in the first round, he was pit against former UWA World Heavyweight Champion Paul Phoenix on this past Crimson.
Phoenix is no joke himself… The guy's a loon, but he can get it done both in the ring and on the mic… When he feels like it, that is. After falling into silence for the past month or so, nobody was quite sure what to expect of the "Berserker" when he went one on one with the Gamebreaker. What ensued was a fine example of technical wrestling, and Phoenix himself was more than industrious, but obviously Lord came out with the win. In my valuable opinion, I think that if Paul Phoenix had been placed in Bracket 1 from the start, he could realistically be in the place of John Taylor or Joshua Cleaver. But… we'll never know. And I'm talking about Lord. The man has a lot going for him; he's young, he's got experience at the top, he's talented both in the ring and on the mic. He's got the makings of a GZW World Heavyweight Champion, and even I'll admit that my man Pimp'll have his hands full with this one…<br>
Which brings me on to John Taylor, the "Lone Gunman"… The man's a former GZW Light Heavyweight Champion, but that alone simply won't cut it at the level he's currently vying for. For most people, their big problem with taking this guy seriously is that he is, or was, a quitter. It's often been said behind closed doors, that if he'd have just waited for nature to take his course, he'd have been competing in the Intercontinental and/or Heavyweight Divisions before too long. But oh, no, he couldn't possibly pay his dues in the company like Pimp, Nathan Williams, Sean Fiery and Billy Bond did before him. That, to me, is his one major flaws. Whether he'll admit it or not for image purposes, he can be great on the mic, and undeniably he is one of the most sound mat technicians working today… But a lot of the time, he is simply disregarded by peers and critics alike, which may hurt him ultimately if he is unsuccessful this time around, he may just descend down to Midcard status.
What has he done to get where he is now, though? He's beaten "The Dark Angel" Seven and "The Untouchable" Kaine. Of the four remaining competitors, many feel that the Gunman has had the easiest route, in that he has been pit against two relatively new competitors to the GZW. Regardless of that, he has been impressive on both occasions, but it has to be noted that, Seven is a much larger, power based wrestler whilst Kaine is smaller than the Gunman, something of a luchador. My point being that Joshua Cleaver will be his first opponent in the tournament to be somewhat similar in both stature and size. On a side note, I can confirm that John Taylor's recent attempt to physically intimidate me hasn't gone unnoticed, and was frowned upon, to say the least, in the command suite. He'd want to watch himself…<br>
Last, and probably least, we've got Joshua Cleaver. The cocky youngster's been a dark horse thus far, there's no denying that, but his luck may be about to end. As much as he is a quitter, John Taylor may have hit the nail on the head with something he said recently… Joshua Cleaver is perhaps the most inexperienced competitor of the entire tournament… On his first and only GZW PPV appearance, he lost to Shane Ryder and seemingly vanished off the face of the earth. Is that the type of man you idiots would pay to see headlining a pay per view? Actually, scratch that. For the most part, you idiots would pay to see K-9 urinating on Gangzta as a Pay Per View main event if that meant you could sit around scoffing beef-flavour donuts. I'll answer for you, then… No. Of course not. Not a chance. Yeah, both he and Taylor have gotten this far. And obviously Taylor isn't a first-choice poster boy headliner, but he at least has some experience, he can get it done when he needs to. I'm all for backing the underdog, but even I have to draw an expensive, stylish line in the sand somewhere.
Don't get me wrong, the "King" has an impressive submission victory over Jimmy Williams, one of the odds-on favourites of the whole thing, under his belt. That says something about his ability, regardless of what language you speak. And no, American doesn't count. What it says is that the youngster has the ability. What his promos say, whenever he feels like cutting them, is that he is cocky and arrogant. As I've already document, that sort of carry-on boads well for someone like Pimp Bizkit because he's proven himself time and time again. However, it just might come around to bite Cleaver in the ass. By no means did the "Panther" dominate his match with Jimmy Williams. It could've just as easily gone in the Real Deal's favour. Cleaver realising that sooner rather than later would certainly do him no harm in progressing to the final at Fallout: Return To Glory.
In closing, we are looking at four interesting personalities, two of which will fall by the wayside this upcoming Crimson. The remaining two will then go on to the Pay Per View to compete for the GZW World Heavyweight Championship. To get something of a preview, I would suggest that you keep an eye on the idiot box next Monday night for the first ever Throwdown show coming to you live on Channel 594. You wonder why? Because booked for that show is a tag team match featuring the aforementioned four competitors. Can they coexist? Will each man be at his partner's throat? Come to think of it, you people probably couldn't tell the difference, thus I suggest you get a copy of the Throwdown Report that'll no doubt be circulating the pages of Hotwire sometime next week. Also on the show, I'll be making a groundbreaking announcement that you simply can't afford to miss.
Until next time, simpletons… I succeed at everything.
Clancy McClean.
