Just Business: RtG Preview

[Clancy McClean]

Just Business

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Topical Hotwire Opinion With Clancy McClean


Drop to your knees, ignorami!

Once again, I am your Philanthropist, GZW’s Renaissance Man, Clancy McClean, and like the milkman, I always deliver! For the ninth spectacular time, you are reading “Just Business”, arguably Hotwire’s flagship feature. In this column’s illustrious past, I’ve discussed everything from mic skills to nicknames, TV broadcasts to individual competitors and back again. Today, we will be taking a giant step further. With Fallout: Return To Glory just days away, I can see the problems bound to be faced by the average idiot wrestling fan; Who’ll win this match? What does submission mean? What’s a Rome?

Calm down. There aren’t any beer nuts in your neighbour’s trashcan, don’t even bother looking. The answers to all of your queries are here. So put your overalls back on, feather up your reading hat and watch me ever so closely as I get down to business with my Fallout: Return To Glory preview, predictions and more… JUST BUSINESS, that is!

Before I take my magnifying glass of supreme wealth and analytical thought, allow me to fill you in on some of the need-to-knows. The show will take place from one of Rome’s premier amphitheatres, the Colosseum. That’s Rome, Italy, not Rome c/o Colonel Sanders. Actually, forget it… Let’s go.
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Singles Match
Phillip Tytan versus Edwin MacPhisto
It’s a good thing that these two are better workers than they are talkers, that’s all I’ll say. Actually it’s not all I’ll say. Phillip Tytan really doesn’t need to be a great talker, he’s Pimp Bizkit’s run-in buddy, which really cuts down the need for him to always try to get his point across, because Pimp can do it for him. In the ring, he’s dominant. Whilst he’s not the biggest big man this company’s ever seen, he’s got what it takes to become one of the best. He’s still young, which gives him a lot of time to hone in his skills. Unfortunately for MacPhisto, this one may just be a warm-up for Tytan. We’ve already seen these two in action and Tytan came out victorious in what was arguably a squash. It may be too late for Edwin to even get a look-in on this one, but perhaps this will prove to be the wake-up call that he so desperately needs.
Clancy’s Pick: Phillip Tytan
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Singles Match
"Untouchable" Kaine versus The Cursed Angel
Both of these two are coming off impressive victories at Throwdown, over Joshua Cleaver and Seven respectively. These two are young, fast, innovative, and will go far if they play their cards right. Cursed Angel’s debut on Crimson last week was a little… random, to say the least, and Kaine hasn’t really made as much of an impact as he could have. This match, however, is bound to be a spot-fest, and the winner will surely begin to reap the rewards, sooner rather than later. This could essentially go either way, but I’ll give it to Kaine for the experience factor. A better build-up would’ve generated a lot more interest in this bound-to-be-good match.
Clancy’s Pick: “Untouchable” Kaine
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Singles Match
"The Berserker" Paul Phoenix versus "The Black Rose" Shane Ryder
Yawn. I snore, I snore. This one’s got ‘caviar break’ written all over it… The thing is, these two guys could actually make it big. They’ve got the ability and more importantly backing from upstairs. Pure laziness and poor workrate, however, will surely damn this one to mediocrity. Even talking about it rattles my cage. Going on recent in-ring performance alone, I’ll give this one to Ryder. That’s not saying much…<br>Clancy’s Pick: “The Black Rose” Shane Ryder
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GZW2K1 W.C.E.K Television Championship Memorial Tournament
Quarterfinal Match
"The Dark Angel" Seven versus "Buzzing" Electric Sharpe
This one could be interesting. Behind the makeup, hair and irrelevant metaphor, Seven has been on quite a streak since being relegated to the TV tournament. With several impressive victories under his belt, he’s not short of confidence. And rightly so, it must be said. But what about Electric Sharpe? “Buzzing” has been on quite a streak himself. Over the past month we’ve seen him beat former World Heavyweight Champion Maxx Pain, title contender Jimmy Williams, James “Monarch” Corbin, Nathaniel Davis, Mychael Lord and a man that could leave the Colosseum on Sunday with the strap, “Lone Gunman” John Taylor. That’s quite a body of work considering Seven’s recent string of opponents; Adam Cage and K-9. That says a lot, and this one will really say a lot about what Sharpe can do and what he will undoubtedly achieve somewhere down the line. It’ll be a gut check, but I never bet against a Heretic!
Clancy’s Pick: “Buzzing” Electric Sharpe
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GZW2K1 W.C.E.K Television Championship Memorial Tournament
Quarterfinal Match
"The Unbreakable Female" Tonya Glory versus James Tanner
This one’s match-of-the-night material, right? Let’s have a run down the CMC Checklist… Annoying Feminist? You bet. Wannabe soap-opera star? Bingo. This may just be caviar break number two. Actually, it’s not that bad. It’s hard to predict, I’ll give it that. I mean Glory can probably outwrestle Tanner, but he’ll probably have an affair with her on national TV, deny it to his wife and somehow come out the winner. Frankly, I couldn’t care less as the winner will only go on to be Electric Sharpe’s next victim. At a push, I’ll give it to Tonya. I won’t be held responsible for any bets that may go awry as a result, though…<br>Clancy’s Pick: “The Unbreakable Female” Tonya Glory
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Extreme Match
"Buzzing" Electric Sharpe versus "Real Deal" Jimmy Williams
Now this is more like it! I’ve already discussed my man Electric Sharpe earlier on, and he’s got a fine chance here. However, and I never bet against a Heretic, I may just have to bet against this Heretic! These are two of the most brutal, sadistic guys wrestling today. Jimmy’s been the Extreme Champion here in the GZW, Sharpe the equivalent Insanity Rulez Champion in BCWF. But to think about it logically, the odds may just be stacked a little too high for Sharpe. Now we’ve already seen these guys wrestle twice, coming out with one win apiece. It was Williams who had the upper hand earlier, eliminating Sharpe from the World Heavyweight Title tournament. That, however, came back around to kick Jimmy in the ass, as Sharpe is basically the W.C.E.K. TV Champ at this stage and Jimmy’s on one hot losing streak. I wouldn’t normally back a loser, but in this case I’ll make an exception, for one key reason. Jimmy is pissed off. Beyond belief. Not only is he on a lengthy losing streak, but he was made tap out by the rookie Joshua Cleaver. He’s suffered countless backstage attacks from Electric Sharpe. He wants revenge. He wants retribution. And in the confines, or lack thereof, of an extreme match, he just might get it…<br>Clancy’s Pick: “Real Deal” Jimmy Williams
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[Clancy McClean]

Singles Match
Joshua "The Panther" Cleaver versus "First Round Pick" Mychael Lord
Joshua Cleaver… He’s still around, eh? Yawn. Cleaver was the dark horse of the World Heavyweight Championship tournament, and his loss to John Taylor pretty much cemented the fact that said horse would not be seeing any light for the foreseeable future. Translation? This is the end of the line for Cleaver. Whenever he feels like cutting a promo, he just rants about how good he is. Sure, I like confidence in a wrestler. But there’s confidence, and there’s confidence. That sure was some quick work you made of Kaine on Monday, Josh… A more cynical reviewer would argue that Cleaver hasn’t a hope in Hell and that, if he loses, he’ll be finished. While I agree with the latter, I would say that the kid has an opportunity. If he can remove the crown from over his eyes in time to realise that opportunity, he’s got a chance. What it boils down to is this: Lord is pretty much guaranteed main event status until his contract expires. Cleaver was never meant to attain such great heights, but a clean win over the Gamebreaker will practically force the booking committee to keep him at upper midcard level, at least… Sadly, I don’t consider him smart enough to notice the chance, and it’ll be gone before he can say Game Over…<br>Clancy’s Pick: “First Round Pick” Mychael Lord
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"Respect Match" Submission Match
"Entertainment Franchise" Nathaniel Davis versus "Wrestling Franchise" James "Monarch" Corbin
Well we can’t say this one hasn’t been without build-up. Before I get into specifics, let me spell this out for you: James Corbin is forty years old. Nathaniel Davis is thirty-six. Now whilst such a prospect would’ve been mouth-watering five, six years ago, it seems more watered down than anything. Of course, these two have had illustrious careers, they’ll go down in history, they’re definite Ring Of Honour material… But are they past it? Maybe. Maybe not. Nathaniel Davis is making the right move (and one he should have made five years ago) in deciding to call it quits after Sunday. If James Corbin were doing the same, I’d be far more into this match. But no, GZW’s resident Great-Grandfather wants to try his hand in messing with The Heretics after Return To Glory. Join the club! Taylor, Lord and Williams have all said the same… It’s stale by now. But don’t get me wrong; this one is bound to be a contender for Match-Of-The-Night. It’ll be a spectacle, all right. It could really go either way. Unfortunately, something tells me that when this sure-bloodbath is all said and done, we’re staring down the business end of yet another “heart warming” Davis speech. Or at the very least, a hug. I’m going to go for Monarch, just so Davis doesn’t get the opportunity to mar what should be a Glorious PPV with his sentimental garbage…<br>Clancy’s Pick: “Wrestling Franchise” James “Monarch” Corbin
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GZW2K1 World Heavyweight Championship Tournament
"Earned Not Given"
Final Match
Steel Cage Match
(winner declared via submission or pinfall)
"Lone Gunman" John Taylor versus "Living Legend" Pimp Bizkit
Ouch, that’s a long title. Take it one word at a time, morons. Anyway… This is the big one. Normally I’d just jump right in and explain how great Pimp is and why exactly he is so great. Not today. First, I’ll give John Taylor credit. A lot of it. This is a man that went from go-nowhere ex-Light Heavyweight Champion corporate lapdog to free agent, Wrestler of the Month, World Heavyweight Championship contender… I may not like him, in fact I despise him with a passion, but I must applaud him for what he has achieved in the two short months since GZW’s restart. OK… With that formality out of the way, it’s time to move on to Pimp Bizkit. The Living Legend, The Human Miracle, The Bee’s Knees, The Cat’s Meow… Whatever you want to drop to your knees and chant at him, there will soon come a time when you can simply refer to him as “Champion”. Sure, sure, the Gunman won’t be a cakewalk… But this is Pimp’s time. After so long… Too long… Pimp will get the job done on this grand stage. I just feel bad for Taylor that he won’t have the interference by the Heretics excuse to write off his inevitable loss… The build-up to this one has been phenomenal, and rightly so. Of course, over the next few days, things should start to really heat up as these two will be living in the same V.I.P. area of the same hotel in Rome… Let’s just say that a certain well-respected backstage personality, a certain Renaissance Man will be on location to keep an eye on things and take note of any noteworthy developments in this ongoing fued.
Clancy’s Pick: “Living Legend” Pimp Bizkit”

Well there you have it, lice. I’ve been remarkable, stunning and wealthy. I’ve been your Philanthropist. I’ve been Clancy McClean and I’m currently on my way to Rome. As I’m sure you’re already foaming at the mouth, I’ll make this short and sweet. Remember to actually watch the Pay-Per-View this Sunday. Remember to wear pants on the plane if you choose to go to the Pay-Per-View. More importantly, however, remember to finger through these very pages next week for the very special 10th Anniversary edition of Just Business; The Fallout from Fallout: RtG.

Relax.
Clancy McClean

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