Post by Lone Gunman on Mar 31, 2011 11:02:45 GMT -6
The last ten years have seen close to 500 wrestlers compete in the GZW2K1 ring. Among them are the most decorated in the history of the sport; from multi-time champions to Ring of Honor Icons to Lords of the Coliseum, to name but a few. Not all of them, however, were Monarchs, Lone Gunmen, Smooth Operators or Wicked Ones. For such a prestigious organisation with such a rich past, GZW2K1 really has had its fair share of nobodies. Here we look to highlight some of the lesser-known characters that have at one point or another called GZW2K1 ‘home’.
Pitfighter
Active: 2001-2002
This young Dutchman may be long gone but we at HotWire find him difficult to forget. Showing no fear (and considerable cultural inertia), he would regularly roll and smoke ‘weed sigaretts’ on live GZW2K1 TV. An icon to 12-year-old stoners everywhere, Pitfighter often forgot to show up and actually wrestle. When he did show up his ring attire of choice was a gaudy bright yellow dress shirt complemented with baggy black tuxedo pants, a bandana and no shoes. For some reason beyond the scope of this article, he did always wear socks.
Artist's impression of Pitfighter.
William Black
Active: 2005
William Black signed with GZW2K1 at the same time as one Vernon Vanderbilt, after their previous employer BMWF went bankrupt. That Black turned out to be the bigger diva would come as a surprise to us all. His short-lived career revolved around a series of petty disputes with the creative department, as Black felt as though creative control was a right and not a privilege. Anally retentive, the man would storm off of live television were his hair not allowed to flop in a certain direction or if a ‘hardcore’ wrestler was served before him in the Coliseum canteen. He was released mere weeks after being hired, nobody seemed to notice all that much, and life went on.
“The Messiah” Karl Marx
Active: 2005
Seemingly unaware of his historical namesake, Chris Walters went ahead and renamed himself anyway. His name, as it turned out, was to be the most memorable aspect of this young Canuck’s GZW2K1 tenure. That, and the fact that he looked scarily like veteran Jimmy Williams. Whether Marx was any relation was never revealed. Whether Marx had any in-ring talent or anything interesting to say (in terms of wrestling or political philosophy) was never revealed. A brief stint with the Extreme Heavyweight Championship is all that the record books have to say about him. And HotWire won’t say much more than that, either.
Al the Killer
Active: 2006
This unorthodox young man said of himself, “Al can’t be categorized or described, only experienced.” A cute sound bite, undoubtedly, though it does make it a little tricky in HotWire’s efforts to, well, categorize and describe him. Fortunately, his career was so short-lived that he never actually made it onto GZW2K1 TV. We feature him here purely because of the revelation that came late last year that Al was, in fact, a killer. All along. He is currently serving five back-to-back life sentences for a string of murders in his native Truth or Consequences, New Mexico. A return is unlikely, then.
Freak Mauler
Active: 2001
An old schoolmate of Pimp Bizkit’s, this Wigan native provided roster padding in the early days of GZW2K1’s formation. Perhaps the only other interesting thing to say about the man is that “Freak Mauler” is his actual name. Pimp has recalled that Mauler’s years at Wigan Community School were “tough”.
Josh Reed
Active: 2006
An accomplished author before entering the Globalverse, Josh Reed made his name in the self-help book sector. His 2005 work, “Dream It, See It, Grab It!” even entered the New York Times bestseller list. If only he’d taken his own advice. Reed was certainly an articulate fellow and more than capable on the mic, though his dedication to the company came into question after missing a string of promotional and house show appearances not long into his GZW2K1 stint. He was released late in the year after the executive committee discovered that his signing with the company was little more than a publicity stunt in promotion of his follow-up book, “99 Ways to go from a Door Mat to a Lion”.
Pitfighter
Active: 2001-2002
This young Dutchman may be long gone but we at HotWire find him difficult to forget. Showing no fear (and considerable cultural inertia), he would regularly roll and smoke ‘weed sigaretts’ on live GZW2K1 TV. An icon to 12-year-old stoners everywhere, Pitfighter often forgot to show up and actually wrestle. When he did show up his ring attire of choice was a gaudy bright yellow dress shirt complemented with baggy black tuxedo pants, a bandana and no shoes. For some reason beyond the scope of this article, he did always wear socks.
Artist's impression of Pitfighter.
William Black
Active: 2005
William Black signed with GZW2K1 at the same time as one Vernon Vanderbilt, after their previous employer BMWF went bankrupt. That Black turned out to be the bigger diva would come as a surprise to us all. His short-lived career revolved around a series of petty disputes with the creative department, as Black felt as though creative control was a right and not a privilege. Anally retentive, the man would storm off of live television were his hair not allowed to flop in a certain direction or if a ‘hardcore’ wrestler was served before him in the Coliseum canteen. He was released mere weeks after being hired, nobody seemed to notice all that much, and life went on.
“The Messiah” Karl Marx
Active: 2005
Seemingly unaware of his historical namesake, Chris Walters went ahead and renamed himself anyway. His name, as it turned out, was to be the most memorable aspect of this young Canuck’s GZW2K1 tenure. That, and the fact that he looked scarily like veteran Jimmy Williams. Whether Marx was any relation was never revealed. Whether Marx had any in-ring talent or anything interesting to say (in terms of wrestling or political philosophy) was never revealed. A brief stint with the Extreme Heavyweight Championship is all that the record books have to say about him. And HotWire won’t say much more than that, either.
Al the Killer
Active: 2006
This unorthodox young man said of himself, “Al can’t be categorized or described, only experienced.” A cute sound bite, undoubtedly, though it does make it a little tricky in HotWire’s efforts to, well, categorize and describe him. Fortunately, his career was so short-lived that he never actually made it onto GZW2K1 TV. We feature him here purely because of the revelation that came late last year that Al was, in fact, a killer. All along. He is currently serving five back-to-back life sentences for a string of murders in his native Truth or Consequences, New Mexico. A return is unlikely, then.
Freak Mauler
Active: 2001
An old schoolmate of Pimp Bizkit’s, this Wigan native provided roster padding in the early days of GZW2K1’s formation. Perhaps the only other interesting thing to say about the man is that “Freak Mauler” is his actual name. Pimp has recalled that Mauler’s years at Wigan Community School were “tough”.
Josh Reed
Active: 2006
An accomplished author before entering the Globalverse, Josh Reed made his name in the self-help book sector. His 2005 work, “Dream It, See It, Grab It!” even entered the New York Times bestseller list. If only he’d taken his own advice. Reed was certainly an articulate fellow and more than capable on the mic, though his dedication to the company came into question after missing a string of promotional and house show appearances not long into his GZW2K1 stint. He was released late in the year after the executive committee discovered that his signing with the company was little more than a publicity stunt in promotion of his follow-up book, “99 Ways to go from a Door Mat to a Lion”.
