Post by Sir Chris Cairns on Apr 29, 2013 7:04:16 GMT -6
Chris Cairns wasn't always a bumbling SIR, you know. He is one of British wrestling's biggest success stories, having been an accomplished in-ring competitor winning seventeen titles throughout the world throughout the eighties and nineties, and having run his own global promotion - Creation Wrestling - from 1990 until 2002, at which time the Creation brand was bought out by GZW2K1.
And it was in the early months of 2002 where Cairnsy's GZW2K1 career began...
March 2002 - May 2002
Creation Wrestling is sold to GZW2K1.
Cairns makes GZW2K1 debut as off-camera motivational speaker for "The God of Pain" Bane. Appears in backstage segments only, referred to simply as 'Uncle.'
June 2002
Released from GZW2K1 contract.
December 2004
Returns to GZW2K1.
Hosts the inaugural episode of "The Chris Cairns Show" at Aftermath2K4. Special guest Nathan Williams concludes the interview by rolling Cairns up in the interview set's carpet and Gorilla Press Slamming him out of the ring.
HKWF World Heavyweight Championship match with Bane defending against Seth Raide at Aftermath2K4. Cairns accompanies Bane to the ring. Cairns is rendered unconscious by Seth Raide after Raide attacks and strangles Cairns.
January 2005
The first edition of HotWire Magazine's "The Cairns Opinion" is published. The beginnings of the Chris Cairns/Clancy McClean feud are said to originate from around this time as the two men traded petty insults via their magazine columns.
The Chris Cairns Show @ Crimson. Special guest is Electric Sharpe. Sharpe wrecks the interview set with a golf club.
Awarded GZW2K1 Wrestler of the Month, despite not wrestling in a match.
February 2005
The Chris Cairns Show @ Crimson. Special guests are the Syndicate Zero stable. Interview set is destroyed in the crossfire of Syndicate Zero brawling with rival group, The Heretics.
Chris Cairns begins unlikely relationship with Commissioner Devotion Profit after sending her a Valentines Day card.
The Chris Cairns Show @ Sunday Storm. Special guest is Bane. Interview set wrecked by Kid Kaos and Phillip Tytan.
March 2005
The Chris Cairns Show @ Fallout: Destiny Fulfilled. Special Guest is Clancy McClean. First face-to-face meeting between the two rival HotWire Magazine columnists.
April 2005
The Chris Cairns Show @ Storm. Special guest is Amun Ma'at, who wrecks the interview set.
The Chris Cairns Show @ Storm. Special guests are Quake and Jay Jameson. Interview set wrecked by The Heretics, who were feuding with Quake and Jameson.
The Chris Cairns Show @ Crimson. Special guests are Striker Fiery and Shane Ryder.
The Chris Cairns Show @ Fallout: Against the Odds. Multiple guests throughout the night include Lord John Taylor, Pimp Bizkit, Vernon Vanderbilt, Seven, Zachary Sharp and James Corbin.
May 2005
The Chris Cairns Show @ Sunday Storm. Special guest is Amun Ma'at.
The Chris Cairns Show @ Crimson. Special guest is Seth Raide.
The Chris Cairns Show @ Crimson. Special guest is Quake.
Hosts the Chris Cairns Creation Trophy Battle Royale @ Crimson. Winner is Jon Kellar.
June 2005
The Chris Cairns Show @ Heatwave II. Special guest is John Profit, the father of Cairns' girlfriend, Commissioner Devotion Profit. Cairns proposes to Devotion Profit in the middle of the ring and John Profit protests. Cairns, despite attempted aide from Bane, is heavily beaten down by John Profit's HKWF goons as a distraught Devotion looks on.
Chris Cairns breaks up with Devotion Profit, leaving her to spiral into depression, which eventually led to her losing her role as GZW2K1 Commissioner.
July 2005
Huge edition of The Cairns Opinion published in HotWire Magazine's Summer Special. Cairns evaluates the entire roster!
August 2005
Cairns announces his intentions to come out of retirement and wrestle again for the first time since February 2002.
October 2005
Glory Through Honor. Chris Cairns defeats Zachary Sharp in a Lord of the Coliseum qualifying match. This is Cairnsy's first competitive match in over two years.
Chris Cairns loses to Vyle in the first round of the 2005 Lord of the Coliseum tournament.
November 2005
Wreckage. A Bra and Panties match between Chris Cairns and Clancy McClean is cancelled after both men refuse to leave their locker rooms and showcase their women's undergarments on live TV.
Crimson. Quake defeats Chris Cairns in singles competition.
The Chris Cairns Show @ Crimson. Special guest is Lord Seth Raide.
December 2005
The Chris Cairns Show @ Season's Beatings. Special guest is Bane.
The Chris Cairns Show @ Aftermath2K5. Special guests are Leon Taylor (Corbin) and Vernon Vanderbilt.
January 2006 - March 2006
No television appearances for Cairns as he mainly works on his 'Cairns Opinion' HotWire Magazine column.
April 2006
The Chris Cairns Show @ Sunday Storm. Special guest is Red Dragon, who wrecks the interview set and beats up Cairns.
Huge HotWire Magazine edition opens with another edition of The Cairns Opinion where Cairnsy evaluates the entire roster.
May 2006
Chris Cairns cuts a controversial 'shoot promo' in which he is viciously criticizing the way GZW2K1 is being run. He is promptly suspended and not seen again until...
April 2007
The Chris Cairns Show returns @ Crimson w/ special guest Quake.
August 2007
The Chris Cairns Show @ Crimson w/ special guest Leon Corbin.
May 2008
Chris Cairns loses to Bane in singles competition @ Crimson.
A HotWire Magazine issue is published with another huge roster evaluation from Cairns. This was his final roster evaluation and final magazine column in general to date.
May 2009
Chris Cairns is fired from GZW2K1 by Billy Diamond-Remarkable on behalf of Talent Relations.
May 2011
Chris Cairns returns to GZW2K1 as a Trainer at the GZW2K1 Trouble Trax.
Is Eva Hikari's "One Night Stand" special guest @ Manchester Again.
June 2011
In only the second face-to-face meeting of their long and petty rivalry, Chris Cairns loses to Clancy McClean in a HotWire Magazine lumberjack match at Heatwave 8.
It is announced by Prince William that Chris Cairns will receive a Knighthood.
January 2012
Chris Cairns becomes SIR Chris Cairns after being Knighted by The Queen in a glittering ceremony at Buckingham Palace.
February 2012 - February 2013
Cairns spends much of his time being a trainer at the GZW2K1 Trouble Trax, and booking increasingly ridiculous Creation Wrestling II shows on the side.
'Super Uncle Sir Chris Cairns Kart' is released on various gaming systems and bombs dramatically.
Seemingly losing his sanity, Chris Cairns begins to circulate news that his greatest of rivals, Clancy McClean, has pissed himself to death.
March 2013
Chris Cairns is highly disturbed by the GZW2K1 debut of a wrestler named 'Sir Justinian.' Having another Sir on the roster infuriates Cairns so much that he decides to return to full-time in-ring competition for the first time in many, many years.
And it was in the early months of 2002 where Cairnsy's GZW2K1 career began...
March 2002 - May 2002
Creation Wrestling is sold to GZW2K1.
Cairns makes GZW2K1 debut as off-camera motivational speaker for "The God of Pain" Bane. Appears in backstage segments only, referred to simply as 'Uncle.'
June 2002
Released from GZW2K1 contract.
December 2004
Returns to GZW2K1.
Hosts the inaugural episode of "The Chris Cairns Show" at Aftermath2K4. Special guest Nathan Williams concludes the interview by rolling Cairns up in the interview set's carpet and Gorilla Press Slamming him out of the ring.
HKWF World Heavyweight Championship match with Bane defending against Seth Raide at Aftermath2K4. Cairns accompanies Bane to the ring. Cairns is rendered unconscious by Seth Raide after Raide attacks and strangles Cairns.
January 2005
The first edition of HotWire Magazine's "The Cairns Opinion" is published. The beginnings of the Chris Cairns/Clancy McClean feud are said to originate from around this time as the two men traded petty insults via their magazine columns.
The Chris Cairns Show @ Crimson. Special guest is Electric Sharpe. Sharpe wrecks the interview set with a golf club.
Awarded GZW2K1 Wrestler of the Month, despite not wrestling in a match.
February 2005
The Chris Cairns Show @ Crimson. Special guests are the Syndicate Zero stable. Interview set is destroyed in the crossfire of Syndicate Zero brawling with rival group, The Heretics.
Chris Cairns begins unlikely relationship with Commissioner Devotion Profit after sending her a Valentines Day card.
The Chris Cairns Show @ Sunday Storm. Special guest is Bane. Interview set wrecked by Kid Kaos and Phillip Tytan.
March 2005
The Chris Cairns Show @ Fallout: Destiny Fulfilled. Special Guest is Clancy McClean. First face-to-face meeting between the two rival HotWire Magazine columnists.
April 2005
The Chris Cairns Show @ Storm. Special guest is Amun Ma'at, who wrecks the interview set.
The Chris Cairns Show @ Storm. Special guests are Quake and Jay Jameson. Interview set wrecked by The Heretics, who were feuding with Quake and Jameson.
The Chris Cairns Show @ Crimson. Special guests are Striker Fiery and Shane Ryder.
The Chris Cairns Show @ Fallout: Against the Odds. Multiple guests throughout the night include Lord John Taylor, Pimp Bizkit, Vernon Vanderbilt, Seven, Zachary Sharp and James Corbin.
May 2005
The Chris Cairns Show @ Sunday Storm. Special guest is Amun Ma'at.
The Chris Cairns Show @ Crimson. Special guest is Seth Raide.
The Chris Cairns Show @ Crimson. Special guest is Quake.
Hosts the Chris Cairns Creation Trophy Battle Royale @ Crimson. Winner is Jon Kellar.
June 2005
The Chris Cairns Show @ Heatwave II. Special guest is John Profit, the father of Cairns' girlfriend, Commissioner Devotion Profit. Cairns proposes to Devotion Profit in the middle of the ring and John Profit protests. Cairns, despite attempted aide from Bane, is heavily beaten down by John Profit's HKWF goons as a distraught Devotion looks on.
Chris Cairns breaks up with Devotion Profit, leaving her to spiral into depression, which eventually led to her losing her role as GZW2K1 Commissioner.
July 2005
Huge edition of The Cairns Opinion published in HotWire Magazine's Summer Special. Cairns evaluates the entire roster!
August 2005
Cairns announces his intentions to come out of retirement and wrestle again for the first time since February 2002.
October 2005
Glory Through Honor. Chris Cairns defeats Zachary Sharp in a Lord of the Coliseum qualifying match. This is Cairnsy's first competitive match in over two years.
Chris Cairns loses to Vyle in the first round of the 2005 Lord of the Coliseum tournament.
November 2005
Wreckage. A Bra and Panties match between Chris Cairns and Clancy McClean is cancelled after both men refuse to leave their locker rooms and showcase their women's undergarments on live TV.
Crimson. Quake defeats Chris Cairns in singles competition.
The Chris Cairns Show @ Crimson. Special guest is Lord Seth Raide.
December 2005
The Chris Cairns Show @ Season's Beatings. Special guest is Bane.
The Chris Cairns Show @ Aftermath2K5. Special guests are Leon Taylor (Corbin) and Vernon Vanderbilt.
January 2006 - March 2006
No television appearances for Cairns as he mainly works on his 'Cairns Opinion' HotWire Magazine column.
April 2006
The Chris Cairns Show @ Sunday Storm. Special guest is Red Dragon, who wrecks the interview set and beats up Cairns.
Huge HotWire Magazine edition opens with another edition of The Cairns Opinion where Cairnsy evaluates the entire roster.
May 2006
Chris Cairns cuts a controversial 'shoot promo' in which he is viciously criticizing the way GZW2K1 is being run. He is promptly suspended and not seen again until...
April 2007
The Chris Cairns Show returns @ Crimson w/ special guest Quake.
August 2007
The Chris Cairns Show @ Crimson w/ special guest Leon Corbin.
May 2008
Chris Cairns loses to Bane in singles competition @ Crimson.
A HotWire Magazine issue is published with another huge roster evaluation from Cairns. This was his final roster evaluation and final magazine column in general to date.
May 2009
Chris Cairns is fired from GZW2K1 by Billy Diamond-Remarkable on behalf of Talent Relations.
May 2011
Chris Cairns returns to GZW2K1 as a Trainer at the GZW2K1 Trouble Trax.
Is Eva Hikari's "One Night Stand" special guest @ Manchester Again.
June 2011
In only the second face-to-face meeting of their long and petty rivalry, Chris Cairns loses to Clancy McClean in a HotWire Magazine lumberjack match at Heatwave 8.
It is announced by Prince William that Chris Cairns will receive a Knighthood.
January 2012
Chris Cairns becomes SIR Chris Cairns after being Knighted by The Queen in a glittering ceremony at Buckingham Palace.
February 2012 - February 2013
Cairns spends much of his time being a trainer at the GZW2K1 Trouble Trax, and booking increasingly ridiculous Creation Wrestling II shows on the side.
'Super Uncle Sir Chris Cairns Kart' is released on various gaming systems and bombs dramatically.
Seemingly losing his sanity, Chris Cairns begins to circulate news that his greatest of rivals, Clancy McClean, has pissed himself to death.
March 2013
Chris Cairns is highly disturbed by the GZW2K1 debut of a wrestler named 'Sir Justinian.' Having another Sir on the roster infuriates Cairns so much that he decides to return to full-time in-ring competition for the first time in many, many years.
