Post by Sir Chris Cairns on Jun 18, 2015 7:12:51 GMT -6
Commissioner (of Creation Wrestling II) John Smith is sat at his desk in his dingy broom cupboard of an office. Beads of sweat already forming on his forehead, he gazes into the camera like a deer into the headlights as his voice wavers.
Smith: My name is Commissioner John Smith and I am the esteemed commissioner of the esteemed Creation Wrestling II. I am here today to make an announcement on behalf of SIR Chris Cairns, because SIR Chris Cairns is far too important to be wasting his time making this announcement by himself. After all, if most of the GZW2K1 roster cannot be bothered to make appearances here on GZG's 24/7 network, then why should SIR Chris Cairns? After all, SIR Chris Cairns has many charitable good deeds to be tending to in various parts of the world. But I digress.
Smith clears his throat.
Smith: I am here today to read a prepared statement from SIR Chris Cairns himself!
Smith picks up a piece of paper and shows it to the camera. It is a drawing of one stickman apparently attacking another stickman with some sort of melee weapon, as the second stickman is crumpled on the ground in a pool of red crayons (blood).
Smith: This is SIR Chris Cairns' artistic expression and prediction with regards to the fate that awaits Stephon Davis at Heatwave in just a few short weeks. Yes, Stephon, that's right: SIR Chris Cairns has decided that he wants to face you one last time in the wrestling ring at Kowloon Park to finish what he started last year: YOUR LIFE!!!
Smith quickly realises that that made no sense whatsoever.
Smith: If Commissioner Nathaniel Davis has the guts to book his son into a certain death situation, then it shall be SIR Chris Cairns versus Stephon Davis once again at Heatwave 11... or 12... or whatever it is this year!
Smith twiddles his thumbs as the scene fades to poo in a toilet.
Smith: My name is Commissioner John Smith and I am the esteemed commissioner of the esteemed Creation Wrestling II. I am here today to make an announcement on behalf of SIR Chris Cairns, because SIR Chris Cairns is far too important to be wasting his time making this announcement by himself. After all, if most of the GZW2K1 roster cannot be bothered to make appearances here on GZG's 24/7 network, then why should SIR Chris Cairns? After all, SIR Chris Cairns has many charitable good deeds to be tending to in various parts of the world. But I digress.
Smith clears his throat.
Smith: I am here today to read a prepared statement from SIR Chris Cairns himself!
Smith picks up a piece of paper and shows it to the camera. It is a drawing of one stickman apparently attacking another stickman with some sort of melee weapon, as the second stickman is crumpled on the ground in a pool of red crayons (blood).
Smith: This is SIR Chris Cairns' artistic expression and prediction with regards to the fate that awaits Stephon Davis at Heatwave in just a few short weeks. Yes, Stephon, that's right: SIR Chris Cairns has decided that he wants to face you one last time in the wrestling ring at Kowloon Park to finish what he started last year: YOUR LIFE!!!
Smith quickly realises that that made no sense whatsoever.
Smith: If Commissioner Nathaniel Davis has the guts to book his son into a certain death situation, then it shall be SIR Chris Cairns versus Stephon Davis once again at Heatwave 11... or 12... or whatever it is this year!
Smith twiddles his thumbs as the scene fades to poo in a toilet.
