Post by Icon Lady Eva Hikari on Jun 27, 2015 17:53:00 GMT -6
His stomach lurched as he caught sight of her. She was perched on top of a turnbuckle as if it was the most natural place in the world for a young woman to be sitting, eyes sweeping her surroundings, looking without seeing. For the briefest of moments he saw her tense before springing all too naturally into the air. Her body twisted, turned in the glow of flashbulbs before landing with the sound of the ring shaking. His breath hitched in his throat before he was able to push that image away. She was still sitting there, not dressed for action and most certainly not taking part in a match, she was just…..sitting. It was more worrying than watching her flip gravity the bird. Sliding under the bottom rope the way his little sister had show him, William used the ropes to pull himself to his feet. The rings in the school felt different under foot than most of the professional rings he’d been in before now. Then, the only comparisons he really had were the unforgiving hell holes his sister used to wrestle in, where he was sure it would have been safer to land on the floors. Or the time she’d broken her neck. Was it any wonder he felt a little uneasy watching her now? It wasn’t just the haunted look etched into her delicate features, or the fact that she hadn’t heard him. He was pretty sure she’d have noticed at least some of the grunting and cursing as he’d straightened up. The ring itself was always a cause of concern for the sometimes manager. Resting his right hand on his stick, his left slipped into the jacket of his charcoal suit. The weight of his pipe was as reassuring as it was damning. He couldn’t smoke in here, not without a severe bollocking from his charmingly mannered brother in law. His hand moved from his pocket to fall by his side before temptation forced him to try and light up anyway.
Honey, if you’re not planning on jumping can you come down please?
Her head turned quickly enough to make him wince, he’d half expected to hear a crack. Shifting her weight she offered him what she hoped was a reassuring smile.
Am I about to be told off?
What makes you think that, Petal?
His tone, the look in his steely eyes, the fact that he was stood in the middle of a wrestling ring in a suit that probably cost more than her car had? There was a whole array of reasons to be suspicious, not that Eva needed and actual reason to suspect anyone of anything. Her paranoia more than had that covered. She’d been here a while, too long maybe. Leon had been and gone, his list of places he needed to be had been dominated by the little folk. Football followed by piano, dance and then ice cream as a reward for having to sit through them all. Pride in your offspring was all well and good, but primary school football was boring as hell and how many times could you watch a child play through Scarborough Fair? By the time it got to your kid the will to live had all but left you. Pushing a hand through her tousled hair she drew in a deep breath.
You haven’t been near a wrestling ring since my match with Hayden….
She could have fought her way out of the hold, but by the time she was vertical there was no way to go but down. The world moved in slow motion the crowds fading to a buzz, his heart hammering in his head. He’d been unable to do anything more than watch but he knew, the young blonde had met his eyes as she shifted to hold her sister so her neck took the full impact. The cold calculation, the small curl of her lips, the silent communication that had never left him. She knew what she was doing. Blinking hard against the memory he cleared his throat.
Yep, can’t say I’ve missed it either…….but when my client misses scheduled bookings…
What? I didn’t miss anything, love. If you're talking about the shoot , I cancelled it.
Sliding off the turnbuckle to land on her feet she shrugged her shoulders at him. Her stance was distant, defiant, daring him to argue. From the look in his eyes he just might.
Ev’s……
Will, I was busy……
It’s the third one this week!
And it's just as pointless as all the others. Out there, I make no difference at all. Doesn’t matter how many meet and greets, fan signings, interviews, promos or whatever the hell else you want me to do. It changes nothing…..I can change nothing. At least here they listen, they learn, they actually give a damn about our industry.
So you’re just going to hide out here? Spend your days watching the next generation, because I know you haven’t been wrestling here either.
Her neck was red, a nervous habit to claw at herself had resurfaced. He hadn’t seen that one since she was a teenager, nervous energy always turned her against herself. William was no advocate for the sport, he hated it just as much as the next man to watch it damage those he loved, but he knew his sister. It had been her world, her life, her everything. This attitude, the defeated tone and nervous stance didn’t sit will with him at all. Eva for her part had seemed not to notice, she was looking at the portraits around her, the Icons and legends Leon had insisted on paying tribute to. They hung like idols, eyes on the ring, looking down on the mere mortals who might try and walk in their playground.
I haven’t wrestled at all since the last show. I haven’t even laced up my boots to train……Odin knows where my title is n’all. I haven’t looked at it, I can’t……fifteen years I’ve been doing this Will. That’s fifteen years of blood, sweat, tears and sacrifice……Of shitty hotels, stipulations, matches and shittier people. Years of constantly giving more than I can reasonably afford to give, of waking up, going to sleep and dragging yourself through your days hurting. The pain doesn’t stop….the people they don’t stop clawing and wanting and taking. There was some bloody awful lows, moments where you suffer so much you find that line between life and death and cling to it. I’ve been beaten, bloodied, objectified and abused and no matter what happened, no matter what I endured I pulled myself right back up and demanded more. No matter what level I was at I wanted to be better, to do better. Yet standing here now, with all these bloody wrestling legends staring down at me…..it’s like……it wasn’t enough. It was never enough. I’m the bloody queen of a dead division, holding a rotting relic nobody cares about. Even I don’t care about it…..and that’s a scary thought in itself.
Ev’s this isn’t you…..
She hadn’t meant to shout at him, but her tone rose along with the colour to her cheeks. She was losing her cool. Losing steam and energy trying to make him understand, he’d never really get it though, none of them would. No matter what she had achieved, she had ultimately failed.
No, no it's not is it? And that’s the issue. I’m the girl who spent nights sleeping in her car because she couldn’t afford a hotel and petrol at the same time. I’m the girl who got lost on the underground while trying to get from one side of the London the other to wrestle at two different shows on the same night. I’m the hearse driving, cloak wearing entity who got tagged as an alt-diva in a world where women flailed and screamed instead of wrestled. I’ve been on fire in Japan, had my face stapled in Germany, been wrapped in barbed wire in Mexico. I’ve bled across more of the globe than most folk ever see. Yet every time I got right back up and demanded more. Let me give you more, show you more, be more. I'm the girl from the shattered home with the broken mind who wanted to be something, anything and found her calling in the wrestling ring. So to stand here now, with no pride left in what I do, no faith left in my own skills and the eyes of people I can never match up to staring down on me……….There's nothing left Will. I failed, I did my best and it wasn’t good enough. Fifteen years is a long arse time to throw away, crapping all over it with whatever the hell this title reign is….that's bad enough…..knowing it's going to get no better and I’m eventually gonna have the flush it? Heh, a fitting end maybe?
This, this right here is depression talking Eva. You’re better than that and you know you are.
Shaking her head she actually smiled, it was almost cold on her once again pale face.
It is what it is, darling. The most expensive and damaging mistake I’ve ever made…..I don’t know what I was thinking coming back. I have nothing to offer the wasteland anymore…..and if they don’t take that damn title off me soon I really will bury it…..and we both know how much I hate digging.
It was worse than he had initially suspected when he left his plush office to stagger over here. A phone call from Leon was never a good thing. They didn’t always see eye to eye but they were united in most things when it came to Eva and her bloody moods. She’d been hiding this one well enough. Leon was a little thrown off by the fact that she was avoiding physically involving herself with the rookies during training, but he suspected an injury she was trying to ignore. He had no idea she’d been avoiding other responsibilities too. Scratching at the stubble on his jaw Will could do little more than watch her. Even now her game face was back, her mask slipping into place with an ease that made him wonder how long she had been doing this. She’d always carried her failures with her, easily forgetting any accomplishments in favour of beating herself up. How long had she been dwelling?
Eva……You should talk to Leon….or Trystan……or even Munin.
Hmm, Leon doesn’t need the distraction and Nin and Trys will both try to feed my ego. That bitch can starve…..it doesn’t need any false sense of accomplishment.
Think you killed it way before now, Pet. You’re holding yourself responsible for killing a division that was dead before you got there. It’s not a failure on your part. You can’t carry other people's mistakes too…...Well….you can, but you shouldn’t. Fact is you are good at what you do. As much as it pains me to say it…..You can’t see that right now because the state of the world you pretty much grew up in, is so murky and polluted you’re finding it hard to see it the same way you once did. It’s like a lover you’ve been with for too long. Sure, you still screw but nobody enjoys it really. It's more a duty where you just go through the motions….
Looking at him for the first time since he’d stumbled into the ring, her expression softened. When she looked at him like that, his heart swelled with love for her. This annoying, complicated creature was momentarily back to being his sister. Whatever this was, she wasn’t too far gone to come back yet.
Everything alright with you and Trina? That was an odd analogy to use….
He tried for a smile, he hoped it was a smile. He wasn’t always sure what his face was doing these days. Though she still found it too easy to read him, he briefly found himself wishing he’d left his hair down. It would have given him something to hide behind if nothing else.
Course……why? Has she said something? She hasn’t has she?
Nothing you should be worried about, love…..So why you worried?
His hand had brushed his tobacco again, a frustrating reminder that he wasn’t allowed to smoke in here. Mercifully, because she really did know him too well Eva was ushering him out of the ring. There was nobody else here, nobody to overhear them anyway.
I know the signs……she’s bored. Which means either another man or another kid, you know how her brain works. I’m frankly not sure I could deal with either.
You two are as bad as each other I swear…….
What's that supposed to mean?
You both flirt shamelessly with whatever takes your fancy, then get jealous when the other does it and try and get me to play spymaster.
Well……you do insist on being best friends with my wife…..
Aye, and I also insist on staying out of your relationship. Love you both, but that whole open relationship thing is loony as fook and I’m not playing official when the claws come out.
So she is seeing someone?
No! Bloody hell, William. Nut up and go talk to your wife. Take her somewhere nice, do something special for her. Wine and dine her…..and tell her I don’t need details. I’ll even babysit your kids. Just don’t drag me into this.
Huffing in a way you’d expect one of the kids to when they were told no he simply nods. They’d found their way outside. It was getting cold, the evening creeping in with enough of a chill to make you forget it was summer. His pipe had materialised from nowhere, along with the tobacco he was happily pushing into it.
You really need to speak to Leon, Ev’s. You can’t carry on in this frame of mind. It’s dangerous…..
I’ll think about it…..
Or, you’ll pretend everything's okay and just ignore it. You guys train together, you don’t think he’ll notice you avoiding him before too long? He’ll take it personally you know……probably think he’s done something wrong. Won't that affect his mindset as much as whats really going on?
Watching her through a thin haze of smoke he knew she wouldn’t answer. She was bloody stubborn at the best of times.
Listen Evalyn, I’ve been there since the beginning. I’ve watched you grow and evolve as you found your feet in your business and made it your own. I don’t like what you do, but I can’t deny you are bloody amazing at it. If you won't talk to the hubby, I might have to. I’ve watched you get hurt too many times. You go out there distracted it could happen again.
Nature of the beast, love.
True, but you tamed that beast, nurtured it. You go out there in this frame of mind and screw whatever you’ve done for it. It’ll eat you alive. Just…….be careful Ev’s I’m getting too old and creaky to deal with any more near deaths…..or actual deaths….
Watching smoke spiral away from him she simply nodded. His elbow rested on her shoulder as she rested her back against the wall behind her. Switch the pipe for a cigarette and give them both block highlights, floppy hair and too much denim and the image could be from any point in their past. The silence that fell between them was safe and comforting, it came from and time and place when it was the only thing that was. Sometimes, times like now and without intending to. They both took refuge there.
Honey, if you’re not planning on jumping can you come down please?
Her head turned quickly enough to make him wince, he’d half expected to hear a crack. Shifting her weight she offered him what she hoped was a reassuring smile.
Am I about to be told off?
What makes you think that, Petal?
His tone, the look in his steely eyes, the fact that he was stood in the middle of a wrestling ring in a suit that probably cost more than her car had? There was a whole array of reasons to be suspicious, not that Eva needed and actual reason to suspect anyone of anything. Her paranoia more than had that covered. She’d been here a while, too long maybe. Leon had been and gone, his list of places he needed to be had been dominated by the little folk. Football followed by piano, dance and then ice cream as a reward for having to sit through them all. Pride in your offspring was all well and good, but primary school football was boring as hell and how many times could you watch a child play through Scarborough Fair? By the time it got to your kid the will to live had all but left you. Pushing a hand through her tousled hair she drew in a deep breath.
You haven’t been near a wrestling ring since my match with Hayden….
She could have fought her way out of the hold, but by the time she was vertical there was no way to go but down. The world moved in slow motion the crowds fading to a buzz, his heart hammering in his head. He’d been unable to do anything more than watch but he knew, the young blonde had met his eyes as she shifted to hold her sister so her neck took the full impact. The cold calculation, the small curl of her lips, the silent communication that had never left him. She knew what she was doing. Blinking hard against the memory he cleared his throat.
Yep, can’t say I’ve missed it either…….but when my client misses scheduled bookings…
What? I didn’t miss anything, love. If you're talking about the shoot , I cancelled it.
Sliding off the turnbuckle to land on her feet she shrugged her shoulders at him. Her stance was distant, defiant, daring him to argue. From the look in his eyes he just might.
Ev’s……
Will, I was busy……
It’s the third one this week!
And it's just as pointless as all the others. Out there, I make no difference at all. Doesn’t matter how many meet and greets, fan signings, interviews, promos or whatever the hell else you want me to do. It changes nothing…..I can change nothing. At least here they listen, they learn, they actually give a damn about our industry.
So you’re just going to hide out here? Spend your days watching the next generation, because I know you haven’t been wrestling here either.
Her neck was red, a nervous habit to claw at herself had resurfaced. He hadn’t seen that one since she was a teenager, nervous energy always turned her against herself. William was no advocate for the sport, he hated it just as much as the next man to watch it damage those he loved, but he knew his sister. It had been her world, her life, her everything. This attitude, the defeated tone and nervous stance didn’t sit will with him at all. Eva for her part had seemed not to notice, she was looking at the portraits around her, the Icons and legends Leon had insisted on paying tribute to. They hung like idols, eyes on the ring, looking down on the mere mortals who might try and walk in their playground.
I haven’t wrestled at all since the last show. I haven’t even laced up my boots to train……Odin knows where my title is n’all. I haven’t looked at it, I can’t……fifteen years I’ve been doing this Will. That’s fifteen years of blood, sweat, tears and sacrifice……Of shitty hotels, stipulations, matches and shittier people. Years of constantly giving more than I can reasonably afford to give, of waking up, going to sleep and dragging yourself through your days hurting. The pain doesn’t stop….the people they don’t stop clawing and wanting and taking. There was some bloody awful lows, moments where you suffer so much you find that line between life and death and cling to it. I’ve been beaten, bloodied, objectified and abused and no matter what happened, no matter what I endured I pulled myself right back up and demanded more. No matter what level I was at I wanted to be better, to do better. Yet standing here now, with all these bloody wrestling legends staring down at me…..it’s like……it wasn’t enough. It was never enough. I’m the bloody queen of a dead division, holding a rotting relic nobody cares about. Even I don’t care about it…..and that’s a scary thought in itself.
Ev’s this isn’t you…..
She hadn’t meant to shout at him, but her tone rose along with the colour to her cheeks. She was losing her cool. Losing steam and energy trying to make him understand, he’d never really get it though, none of them would. No matter what she had achieved, she had ultimately failed.
No, no it's not is it? And that’s the issue. I’m the girl who spent nights sleeping in her car because she couldn’t afford a hotel and petrol at the same time. I’m the girl who got lost on the underground while trying to get from one side of the London the other to wrestle at two different shows on the same night. I’m the hearse driving, cloak wearing entity who got tagged as an alt-diva in a world where women flailed and screamed instead of wrestled. I’ve been on fire in Japan, had my face stapled in Germany, been wrapped in barbed wire in Mexico. I’ve bled across more of the globe than most folk ever see. Yet every time I got right back up and demanded more. Let me give you more, show you more, be more. I'm the girl from the shattered home with the broken mind who wanted to be something, anything and found her calling in the wrestling ring. So to stand here now, with no pride left in what I do, no faith left in my own skills and the eyes of people I can never match up to staring down on me……….There's nothing left Will. I failed, I did my best and it wasn’t good enough. Fifteen years is a long arse time to throw away, crapping all over it with whatever the hell this title reign is….that's bad enough…..knowing it's going to get no better and I’m eventually gonna have the flush it? Heh, a fitting end maybe?
This, this right here is depression talking Eva. You’re better than that and you know you are.
Shaking her head she actually smiled, it was almost cold on her once again pale face.
It is what it is, darling. The most expensive and damaging mistake I’ve ever made…..I don’t know what I was thinking coming back. I have nothing to offer the wasteland anymore…..and if they don’t take that damn title off me soon I really will bury it…..and we both know how much I hate digging.
It was worse than he had initially suspected when he left his plush office to stagger over here. A phone call from Leon was never a good thing. They didn’t always see eye to eye but they were united in most things when it came to Eva and her bloody moods. She’d been hiding this one well enough. Leon was a little thrown off by the fact that she was avoiding physically involving herself with the rookies during training, but he suspected an injury she was trying to ignore. He had no idea she’d been avoiding other responsibilities too. Scratching at the stubble on his jaw Will could do little more than watch her. Even now her game face was back, her mask slipping into place with an ease that made him wonder how long she had been doing this. She’d always carried her failures with her, easily forgetting any accomplishments in favour of beating herself up. How long had she been dwelling?
Eva……You should talk to Leon….or Trystan……or even Munin.
Hmm, Leon doesn’t need the distraction and Nin and Trys will both try to feed my ego. That bitch can starve…..it doesn’t need any false sense of accomplishment.
Think you killed it way before now, Pet. You’re holding yourself responsible for killing a division that was dead before you got there. It’s not a failure on your part. You can’t carry other people's mistakes too…...Well….you can, but you shouldn’t. Fact is you are good at what you do. As much as it pains me to say it…..You can’t see that right now because the state of the world you pretty much grew up in, is so murky and polluted you’re finding it hard to see it the same way you once did. It’s like a lover you’ve been with for too long. Sure, you still screw but nobody enjoys it really. It's more a duty where you just go through the motions….
Looking at him for the first time since he’d stumbled into the ring, her expression softened. When she looked at him like that, his heart swelled with love for her. This annoying, complicated creature was momentarily back to being his sister. Whatever this was, she wasn’t too far gone to come back yet.
Everything alright with you and Trina? That was an odd analogy to use….
He tried for a smile, he hoped it was a smile. He wasn’t always sure what his face was doing these days. Though she still found it too easy to read him, he briefly found himself wishing he’d left his hair down. It would have given him something to hide behind if nothing else.
Course……why? Has she said something? She hasn’t has she?
Nothing you should be worried about, love…..So why you worried?
His hand had brushed his tobacco again, a frustrating reminder that he wasn’t allowed to smoke in here. Mercifully, because she really did know him too well Eva was ushering him out of the ring. There was nobody else here, nobody to overhear them anyway.
I know the signs……she’s bored. Which means either another man or another kid, you know how her brain works. I’m frankly not sure I could deal with either.
You two are as bad as each other I swear…….
What's that supposed to mean?
You both flirt shamelessly with whatever takes your fancy, then get jealous when the other does it and try and get me to play spymaster.
Well……you do insist on being best friends with my wife…..
Aye, and I also insist on staying out of your relationship. Love you both, but that whole open relationship thing is loony as fook and I’m not playing official when the claws come out.
So she is seeing someone?
No! Bloody hell, William. Nut up and go talk to your wife. Take her somewhere nice, do something special for her. Wine and dine her…..and tell her I don’t need details. I’ll even babysit your kids. Just don’t drag me into this.
Huffing in a way you’d expect one of the kids to when they were told no he simply nods. They’d found their way outside. It was getting cold, the evening creeping in with enough of a chill to make you forget it was summer. His pipe had materialised from nowhere, along with the tobacco he was happily pushing into it.
You really need to speak to Leon, Ev’s. You can’t carry on in this frame of mind. It’s dangerous…..
I’ll think about it…..
Or, you’ll pretend everything's okay and just ignore it. You guys train together, you don’t think he’ll notice you avoiding him before too long? He’ll take it personally you know……probably think he’s done something wrong. Won't that affect his mindset as much as whats really going on?
Watching her through a thin haze of smoke he knew she wouldn’t answer. She was bloody stubborn at the best of times.
Listen Evalyn, I’ve been there since the beginning. I’ve watched you grow and evolve as you found your feet in your business and made it your own. I don’t like what you do, but I can’t deny you are bloody amazing at it. If you won't talk to the hubby, I might have to. I’ve watched you get hurt too many times. You go out there distracted it could happen again.
Nature of the beast, love.
True, but you tamed that beast, nurtured it. You go out there in this frame of mind and screw whatever you’ve done for it. It’ll eat you alive. Just…….be careful Ev’s I’m getting too old and creaky to deal with any more near deaths…..or actual deaths….
Watching smoke spiral away from him she simply nodded. His elbow rested on her shoulder as she rested her back against the wall behind her. Switch the pipe for a cigarette and give them both block highlights, floppy hair and too much denim and the image could be from any point in their past. The silence that fell between them was safe and comforting, it came from and time and place when it was the only thing that was. Sometimes, times like now and without intending to. They both took refuge there.
