Post by Lady Munin on Aug 21, 2015 18:54:15 GMT -6
The screech of packing tape interrupted the lyrics of the classic rock song, and the sound had never sounded more satisfying to Munin's ears.
Travis: "That smile looks almost evil...there aren't any body parts in there are there?"
Munin chuckled at the words, and peeks over her shoulder to see her adopted son leaning against the door jam.
Munin: "No body parts Travis, just one of the last boxes of Alex's stuff."
She could have bit her tongue off after the words left her mouth, and the teen's eyes dimmed a bit with emotion.
She sighed and sat the tape gun on the now sealed box.
Munin: "Travis...I'm sorry."
She turned to face him fully, but stayed where she was. Travis didn't take well to feeling coddled, and she wasn't inclined to baby him.
Munin: "I shouldn't have said it like that."
Travis raised his eyebrows at her words, and appeared to be slightly amused by them.
Travis: "There aren't really many other ways to say it, and it's not like Alex going crazy is your fault. You know that mom, you founded a foundation that dealt directly with abuse in all its forms. Alex made his own choices, and even if there is a part of him that's the old Alex it doesn't change all the choices he made."
Munin was quiet for a moment allowing the music to fill the sudden silence. She knew he was right, and she didn't exactly blame herself for Alex's actions. Blaming herself for the pain it could be putting Travis through was another matter, but she wasn't laying it all on herself. No this was yet another thing that Alex would eventually have to take credit for...where ever he was.
Munin: "I'm not worried about Alex as much as I'm worried about you, as you said Alex made his choices. What really bothers me is that you are having to go through this."
With a snort and eye roll pushes away from the wall, and walks up to start putting things in boxes himself.
Travis: "The situation sucks and there is no getting around it, but we have both been through worse. Besides it's not like either of us are going through it alone, and personally I think we're dealing with it pretty well. At least as well as two people that had a loved one that went bat shit crazy can be. You know it's not like I've never seen it happen with drugs, but over pride, petty one upmanship, and a stupid gold plated belt? "
A head shake of disgust lets her know exactly how he felt about that.
Travis: "I don't know which is worse, having him Hyde out over addiction or over his work. I guess they're both just as bad in the end, neither are worth it at least...You caught that literature reference by the way? I would like to point out that I have done an excellent job at keeping up with my summer work while you've been gone."
Munin gave a small laugh at that. Her eyes were still worried, and a bit sad, but at least he had made her laugh.
Munin: "Yes I noticed, and your work is duly noted."
He pauses to look at her with eyes that are older than they should be, and a small smile that is meant to comfort her.
Travis: "I'm working on forgiving Alex for the things he's done, though I'm sure it's going to be awhile, and I'm doing my best to not be involved."
Munin began to hand him a box as he spoke, keeping her peace until he was done.
Travis: "If I need to talk about anything I know I can come talk to you...you're doing everything right mom so stop being so hard on yourself."
She gave him a skeptical look as he gently bumped her shoulder with his.
Munin: "You think so huh, and how do feel about me being in a relationship with Jericho?"
She watched him carefully from the corner of her eyes as she said this.
Munin: "Don't give me a brush off answer Travis. I want you to think about it and give me a real answer."
Travis: "Hmm, how do I feel about my mom sleeping with a man that is quite possibly the most legendary Hardcore Champion of all time. A man who looks like he could eat barbed wire for breakfast, and go back for seconds...Well I'm all for it."
His grin let her know for sure that he was just being an outrageous smart ass, and she simply rolled her eyes at his antics
Munin: "Travis..."
Travis: "Fine...fine, I have thought about it in depth actually, because I knew you would corner me eventually."
He smirked over at her knowing that the hinting of her being predictable would slightly annoy. He wasn't disappointed when she rewarded him with a small huff.
Travis: "Honestly all I can say is that I wouldn't be ok with him moving in right away, but I know that isn't something you plan to do. I can't say that I trust him because I don't know him, and honestly it would take me awhile to do so...all things considering."
Munin nodded in agreement, his feelings were understandable. He was handling everything far better than she could have hoped. It never ceased to amaze her how much fortitude and strength he could exhibit.
Travis: "You know what would help me cope immensely?"
Eyebrow arched and gaze wary, Munin met his hazel eyes over a freshly made cardboard box.
Munin: "What?"
Travis: "It would help if I knew that my dear mother was getting the proper rest she needs. The crazy woman has been functioning on about four to five hours at a time, and while she did manage to throw me an amazing paintball birthday on said lack of sleep, with energy left to pack up her crazy ex's things to ship...I worry about her. Could you do something about that?"
Chuckling Munin nods her head in acknowledgement, it was silly to think he wouldn't notice how much sleep had eluded her over the past few days.
Munin: "I'll take some nite aide tonight, that should do the trick."
Travis Grinned triumphantly as he finished sealing up the box he had been packing.
Travis: "Good, was that the last box."
Munin scanned the room before allowing a satisfied smile.
Munin: "Yes I believe it is...I'll have them all sent out before we leave for Japan."
Drumming out a short rhythm on the last box Travis's grin broadens.
Travis: "That sounds like a plan, I'm thinking blueberry pancakes tomorrow."
Blueberry pancakes that definitely sounded like a trump card...
Munin: "And would you be making said pancakes oh darling son of mine?"
More than ready to play along, Travis adopted a dignified demeanor and gave her his most mockingly sincere voice.
Travis: "Why yes dear mother I would be...if you get some sleep tonight."
A look of shock and horror overcomes Munin's lovely features, and her voice is aghast.
Munin: "Oooh, bribery!"
Unable to stay in character completely Travis begins to chuckle, while trying to maintain a smug smile.
Travis: "What can I say I learned from the best. On that note I think we could move these boxes tomorrow, because it is now 10 o'clock. I am ready for bed..."
He says this while looking down at his watch and tapping it dramatically. There was also nothing subtle about the pointed look he gave her.
Munin: "Ok enough, I get your not so subtle in the least hint, I'm getting the nite aide now."
His only reply to her surrender is a satisfied smile, as he moved one box to the floor so it wouldn't fall.
Munin watched him with a smile, feeling a hundred times better than she had since leaving Japan.
Munin: "Travis...thanks for helping with the boxes."
He looked up at her with an amused boyish grin.
Travis: "You're welcome, that's what family is for right?"
They both headed for the door to the hallway, his words touching her more than he realized. Travis was right the boxes could be moved tomorrow. It wasn't like they would need the guest bedroom anytime soon. She felt like she could actually sleep well for the first time in days, but she would still take the nite aide. It was better to be safe than sorry after all.
Munin: "Yeah...It is"
After glancing at the stacks of boxes one last time, Munin turned of the music and the lights, before shutting the door. She felt something twist inside her at the sight. To think that this was all really happening still made her feel sick sometimes. It would take time to properly move on...
Travis: "Night mom I love you."
Munin snapped back from her thoughts at the words.
Munin: "Night, I love you too."
She would move on though, she had already started, and eventually she would be able to stop reminding herself of that.
She fell asleep without tossing around for the first time in awhile. She missed Jericho being beside her, but was still able to slip into a comfortable sleep. The house was quiet with only the sounds of frogs and crickets to make up for the lack of white noise.
That is until the sound of a door being unlocked and opened could be heard.
The man who stepped in was not a welcome guest, despite owning a key to the front door. Part of him rationalized that if she didn't want him to come back she would have changed the locks. That some part of her must still love him, but in truth he knew that he had gone pushed them too far. Too far to ever go back to what they were, and too far for him to ever go home. And for what? He had nothing to show for everything he had lost, and nothing to compare to it. Dwelling on those thoughts didn't end well, in fact they had led to some of the darkest moments in his life as of yet.
It was easier to be angry, easier to smother that rational despairing voice underneath a righteous fury. To lose himself in it...he had become really good at that lately.
He paused for a moment after closing the door softly behind himself.
Thinking back to the event that led to his termination from the company. His hands around a slender throat, it was an ugly moment his more rational side didn't want to look at. When his thoughts turned to his hands around another woman's throat. A woman with dark hair and exotic dark eyes, and he visibly flinched from the memory.
Alex: "It wasn't my fault, she pushed me to do it, and Leon. Leon is the one that put the doubt in her head in the first place."
The silence of the house offered him no comforting reply, and the pale green walls that had once seemed so calming to him gave him no peace today. Oddly enough it was one of Munin's morbid paintings that helped him get a grip on his emotions, before he lost himself to them again.
He had never understood the appeal of the picture before.
It was a lovely Autumn woods scene, with leaves of the trees appearing even more rich and vibrant in contrast to the pale green walls of the entrance way. All the trees that is except for the one in the center of the wooded clearing. The center tree was dark with its branches gnarled and bare, beneath the tree sat a gentleman in a suit and top hat. You could not see the man clearly he was practically a dark silhouette against the vibrancy of color around him.
For the first time Alex could almost imagine what his face would look like if he could see it clearly. Would his expression be one of tortured grief and anger over everything he had lost, or would it be one of hopeless resignation.
He hadn't come here to admire the artwork though, and so shaking himself from his thoughts he moved on.
He knew that all the lights in the house were off, and at this hour both Munin and Travis would be asleep. It was better that, better not to risk the confrontation. God knows he wasn't sure what he would do if they had another confrontation, which was one of the main reasons he was there.
With that in mind he did his best to be quite, as he made his way up the stairs, and down the the second floor hallway.
The door at the end of the hall loomed before him. He took a breath to calm himself before quietly opening the door and slipping into the dark room.
Pausing he inhaled the faint smell of: cedar, spice, and vanilla. It was Munin and he had taken for granted how sweet the smell was before.
Quietly walking across the room he opened all the curtains allowing moonlight to illuminate the the room...and the rooms small occupant.
Munin laid in the center of the bed lost to dreams, and unaware that her space had been invaded by an unwanted guest.
Alex approached the bed and watched the small woman sleep peacefully for a moment. He wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and hold her, but he couldn't lay beside her anymore...that place belonged to someone else now.
Alex's hands clenched and he could almost hear the sound of his blood rushing with his instant fury.
How could she let that bastard worm his way into her life? Why couldn't she just let things go, and stay by his side?
Hadn't he forgiven her when she left him? He had remained loyal to her and only her? She let them poison her against him, she purposely provoked him into a fight and judged him for it?
All these thoughts and more raced through his mind. He started to lose himself to anger once more. It was easier, so much easier than standing there and admitting all the things his rational side whispered to him was right.
For a moment he wanted to hurt her as much as she hurt him, and that thought was like a bucket of ice water over his head.
He ran one shaking hand through his hair.
Hurt her? He wanted to hurt her?
Since when was hurting her even an option to think about?
Walking over to the decanter of whiskey by the fireplace he poured himself a drink. Noticing as he did so the nite aid and cup of water beside it.
Alex: "Well...that explains a lot."
He had wondered how he hadn't woken her up.
Alex: "Waking you up wasn't part of plan you know. Though at this point I have to kinda wonder if it was. If I came here tonight wanting you to catch me in the house and...I don't know be forced to deal with me, to talk to me."
He took a deep drink from the crystal tumbler. The amber liquid a mellow burn down his throat.
Alex: "I promise that wasn't what I told myself my intentions were when I came here tonight Nin. That's the problem though lately, I don't know what I want."
He spoke softly a bare whisper that perhaps sounded louder to him than it truly was in the silence of the room. His voice was rough with emotion, and it would have been impossible to distinguish it from grief or anger.
Alex: "No that's a lie. I know I want you, but everything else is such a mess. That even that one clear want...need...has become convoluted."
He pours himself another drink and sips it, instead of downing it this time.
Alex: "I went to far Nin, and now I can't go back. I don't even know who I am sometimes when I look in the mirror, but I do know one thing. If I stay around I could be dangerous to you, and that is something I can't live with."
He placed the mostly full tumbler back on the small board table, and walked back towards the bed to watch the woman that slept so peacefully.
Alex: "You once left me because you claimed it was best for both of us. I admit that even though I forgave you I never could understand you thought process behind that. I do now though..."
Reaching down he moved her hair gently away from her face so he could see her clearly.
Alex: "I could find a way to stay in the company. Do you honestly think me choking a vice-president would keep me out of the company if I fought it? Hell the vice-president hit her own sister with a care to get the position. No, I am leaving because its the only right thing that I can do for either of us, butt..."
Reaching into his pocket he withdraws a hammered gold heart charm that hung on an old gold chain. There were words etched into each side of it that read.
(I keep a close watch on this heart of mine, because you're mine I walk the line)
Alex: "I'm too much of a bastard to let you remove me from your life completely. This my dear is one thing I will not let you send back to me."
He set the necklace down on the nightstand beside her, and leaned down to brush a soft kiss across her forehead.
This lead to her shifting in bed from the disturbance, and Alex patiently waiting for her to drift back into a deep sleep, before saying his goodbyes.
Alex: "I will always love you Munin...good bye."
He had forced himself to turn away from the bed when an idea struck him.
If he was going to leave he ought to give Jericho some food for thought before doing so. The fecking ass hole So pulling out his phone he took a picture of Munin illuminated by moonlight. His message was composed as clear screw you to The Dread King.
(You think you can keep me away from her?Maybe you shouldn't let someone so precious to you out of your sight for so long.)
He hit send with a smile, and exited the house with less care to being silent than when he entered. He didn't notice the young man watching him leave from his window. His previously sleepy eyes suddenly wide awake.
Travis rushed to wake his mother from her deep sleep, and an hour and 3 cups of coffee later Munin was filing a police report. Only after she had explained yet again did she finally convince them to leave.
She had managed to stay calm and collected throughout the ordeal. Calm through all the officers suffocating concerns and intrusive questions, and calm through Travis's rage.
He was finally in bed at nearly five in the morning, and that was only because he had exhausted himself.
Now that everything had calmed down, Munin finally picked up the phone to call the person she had wanted since being woken by Travis's frantic shaking and yelling...Jericho.
Jericho: "Hey."
Munin:"Jericho?"
For the first time that night tears stung her eyes, and she hated herself for the way her voice broke a bit saying his name.
Taking a deep breath Munin nodded her head, before remembering that he couldn't see her.
Munin: "I'm ok, but Alex came into the house while Travis and I were asleep."
"I know, I'm on my way to you".
Munin bit her lip for a moment slumping into her chair with relief. She could do this alone, she would handle everything to make sure this didn't happen again. But the thought of not having to do it alone...that meant more to her than she realized it would. Then his words actually registered, and her brow creased in confusion.
Munin: "Wait...how did you know?"
"He sent me a picture. I think he has a death wish."
His voice was cold and controlled, but she could almost feel the undercurrent of fury beneath it.
Munin's voice hitches for a moment. If anyone had been watching her they would have seen all the blood leave her face.
Munin: "He...what? He took picture of me while I was asleep?"
She suddenly felt light headed and slightly ill. She had felt like taking a shower before, but now she felt like scrubbing herself raw. Things were never supposed to be like this. It was Alex, the man she had loved for years, before things had changed...Even still, was it normal to feel so violated?
"Yep. Jumped up wee prick better stay gone or he's dead."
She couldn't reply she had no words at the moment. She refused to break down, and cry on the phone. She was too strong for that, and had lived through to much to let this get the best of her.
But something broke a bit inside of her at the thought that Alex would do something like this.
"You there?"
His voice gentled slightly with concern, but not by much. She didn't need gentle right now she needed calm and logic.
Munin: "Ye yes..."
She took a deep breath to calm herself again.
Munin: "I'm here, I just needed a moment."
She could hear flights being announced in the background, and a child crying.
"It'll be ok. Change the locks and do what you normally would. Don't let it get to you"
She looked down at the numbers scribbled down in front of her. One number was for the locksmith,while the other was for a security company.
Munin: "I plan on it, I will be calling the locksmith and security company as soon as I get off the phone with you."
Her voice was steadier as she spoke, and some how looking at those numbers and listening to his calm voice helped her nerves settle. Some how being reminded that she was taking logical steps, and that she wasn't falling apart helped her keep from unraveling.
"Good. I should be there in a few hours. Now, go and take your mind off of it. Well, once you've made those calls."
While his words were still short, his approval was evident in those short words.
Munin: "I'm going to take a shower and try to get some sleep. Did you need to be picked up, or did you already take care of that?"
A boarding call could be heard in the background. This one sounding louder than the others.
"I'll get something with a sat-nav or just follow signs. I'll get there. My flight is boarding now."
Munin: " Ok, I will see you then..."
"You can count on it."
For the first time she could hear the smile in his voice, and she found herself smiling with him, before the line went dead.
She hung up the phone and immediately dialed the locksmith. No need to lose momentum it was best to get everything handled now.
Munin: "Hello, I would like to have someone come out to change a few locks on my house."
Her voice was cool and collected, no one would guess that she was running off roughly three hours of sleep. Nor that she had just had a very personal home invasion.
Munin: "I would like the agent to come out now please."
While usually she would be amused over the local wheeling and dealing, she now had no patience for it.
Munin: "Sir money is not an issue. I want someone out here within an hour, and I will pay for it."
She rolled her eyes at the sudden change of attitude of the locksmith. Funny how quickly that happened when money was involved.
Munin: "I'm so happy we understand each other, and look forward to seeing you soon."
She hung up the phone after giving her address, and called the security company. Only to have almost the exact same conversation with them.
When she finally got off the phone there was nothing to do but wait, and she realized that in keeping with the laws of the universe her coffee was now cold.
Oh well, she probably shouldn't drink anymore anyways.
Next to her mug, resting in a tiny heap was the necklace that was left behind. The cops had wanted to take it for evidence or some such, but for some ridiculous reason she couldn't let them do that. What would be the point when she wasn't pressing charges. Technically she couldn't press charges anyways, but the police seemed more than willing to try. She settled on simply filing a report instead.
Idly she picked up the necklace, and fiddled with it. Part of her wanted to believe that even though Alex had invaded her home he had good intentions in doing so. It was ridiculous and beyond, but a small part of her had to believe that some part of him meant leaving this as a good bye. Instead of some cruel attempt to punish her. She wanted to believe that some part of him was still...him.
She closed her hand over the necklace, and came to a decision.
She would not let this be a violation or punishment, whether it was meant to be or not. She would tuck this necklace away and let it be a good bye to a memory.
Munin: "Yesterday is but today's memory, and tomorrow is today's dream."
With a shrug of her shoulders she decided to drink her cold coffee. After all she seriously doubted that she would be going to sleep anytime soon.
Travis: "That smile looks almost evil...there aren't any body parts in there are there?"
Munin chuckled at the words, and peeks over her shoulder to see her adopted son leaning against the door jam.
Munin: "No body parts Travis, just one of the last boxes of Alex's stuff."
She could have bit her tongue off after the words left her mouth, and the teen's eyes dimmed a bit with emotion.
She sighed and sat the tape gun on the now sealed box.
Munin: "Travis...I'm sorry."
She turned to face him fully, but stayed where she was. Travis didn't take well to feeling coddled, and she wasn't inclined to baby him.
Munin: "I shouldn't have said it like that."
Travis raised his eyebrows at her words, and appeared to be slightly amused by them.
Travis: "There aren't really many other ways to say it, and it's not like Alex going crazy is your fault. You know that mom, you founded a foundation that dealt directly with abuse in all its forms. Alex made his own choices, and even if there is a part of him that's the old Alex it doesn't change all the choices he made."
Munin was quiet for a moment allowing the music to fill the sudden silence. She knew he was right, and she didn't exactly blame herself for Alex's actions. Blaming herself for the pain it could be putting Travis through was another matter, but she wasn't laying it all on herself. No this was yet another thing that Alex would eventually have to take credit for...where ever he was.
Munin: "I'm not worried about Alex as much as I'm worried about you, as you said Alex made his choices. What really bothers me is that you are having to go through this."
With a snort and eye roll pushes away from the wall, and walks up to start putting things in boxes himself.
Travis: "The situation sucks and there is no getting around it, but we have both been through worse. Besides it's not like either of us are going through it alone, and personally I think we're dealing with it pretty well. At least as well as two people that had a loved one that went bat shit crazy can be. You know it's not like I've never seen it happen with drugs, but over pride, petty one upmanship, and a stupid gold plated belt? "
A head shake of disgust lets her know exactly how he felt about that.
Travis: "I don't know which is worse, having him Hyde out over addiction or over his work. I guess they're both just as bad in the end, neither are worth it at least...You caught that literature reference by the way? I would like to point out that I have done an excellent job at keeping up with my summer work while you've been gone."
Munin gave a small laugh at that. Her eyes were still worried, and a bit sad, but at least he had made her laugh.
Munin: "Yes I noticed, and your work is duly noted."
He pauses to look at her with eyes that are older than they should be, and a small smile that is meant to comfort her.
Travis: "I'm working on forgiving Alex for the things he's done, though I'm sure it's going to be awhile, and I'm doing my best to not be involved."
Munin began to hand him a box as he spoke, keeping her peace until he was done.
Travis: "If I need to talk about anything I know I can come talk to you...you're doing everything right mom so stop being so hard on yourself."
She gave him a skeptical look as he gently bumped her shoulder with his.
Munin: "You think so huh, and how do feel about me being in a relationship with Jericho?"
She watched him carefully from the corner of her eyes as she said this.
Munin: "Don't give me a brush off answer Travis. I want you to think about it and give me a real answer."
Travis: "Hmm, how do I feel about my mom sleeping with a man that is quite possibly the most legendary Hardcore Champion of all time. A man who looks like he could eat barbed wire for breakfast, and go back for seconds...Well I'm all for it."
His grin let her know for sure that he was just being an outrageous smart ass, and she simply rolled her eyes at his antics
Munin: "Travis..."
Travis: "Fine...fine, I have thought about it in depth actually, because I knew you would corner me eventually."
He smirked over at her knowing that the hinting of her being predictable would slightly annoy. He wasn't disappointed when she rewarded him with a small huff.
Travis: "Honestly all I can say is that I wouldn't be ok with him moving in right away, but I know that isn't something you plan to do. I can't say that I trust him because I don't know him, and honestly it would take me awhile to do so...all things considering."
Munin nodded in agreement, his feelings were understandable. He was handling everything far better than she could have hoped. It never ceased to amaze her how much fortitude and strength he could exhibit.
Travis: "You know what would help me cope immensely?"
Eyebrow arched and gaze wary, Munin met his hazel eyes over a freshly made cardboard box.
Munin: "What?"
Travis: "It would help if I knew that my dear mother was getting the proper rest she needs. The crazy woman has been functioning on about four to five hours at a time, and while she did manage to throw me an amazing paintball birthday on said lack of sleep, with energy left to pack up her crazy ex's things to ship...I worry about her. Could you do something about that?"
Chuckling Munin nods her head in acknowledgement, it was silly to think he wouldn't notice how much sleep had eluded her over the past few days.
Munin: "I'll take some nite aide tonight, that should do the trick."
Travis Grinned triumphantly as he finished sealing up the box he had been packing.
Travis: "Good, was that the last box."
Munin scanned the room before allowing a satisfied smile.
Munin: "Yes I believe it is...I'll have them all sent out before we leave for Japan."
Drumming out a short rhythm on the last box Travis's grin broadens.
Travis: "That sounds like a plan, I'm thinking blueberry pancakes tomorrow."
Blueberry pancakes that definitely sounded like a trump card...
Munin: "And would you be making said pancakes oh darling son of mine?"
More than ready to play along, Travis adopted a dignified demeanor and gave her his most mockingly sincere voice.
Travis: "Why yes dear mother I would be...if you get some sleep tonight."
A look of shock and horror overcomes Munin's lovely features, and her voice is aghast.
Munin: "Oooh, bribery!"
Unable to stay in character completely Travis begins to chuckle, while trying to maintain a smug smile.
Travis: "What can I say I learned from the best. On that note I think we could move these boxes tomorrow, because it is now 10 o'clock. I am ready for bed..."
He says this while looking down at his watch and tapping it dramatically. There was also nothing subtle about the pointed look he gave her.
Munin: "Ok enough, I get your not so subtle in the least hint, I'm getting the nite aide now."
His only reply to her surrender is a satisfied smile, as he moved one box to the floor so it wouldn't fall.
Munin watched him with a smile, feeling a hundred times better than she had since leaving Japan.
Munin: "Travis...thanks for helping with the boxes."
He looked up at her with an amused boyish grin.
Travis: "You're welcome, that's what family is for right?"
They both headed for the door to the hallway, his words touching her more than he realized. Travis was right the boxes could be moved tomorrow. It wasn't like they would need the guest bedroom anytime soon. She felt like she could actually sleep well for the first time in days, but she would still take the nite aide. It was better to be safe than sorry after all.
Munin: "Yeah...It is"
After glancing at the stacks of boxes one last time, Munin turned of the music and the lights, before shutting the door. She felt something twist inside her at the sight. To think that this was all really happening still made her feel sick sometimes. It would take time to properly move on...
Travis: "Night mom I love you."
Munin snapped back from her thoughts at the words.
Munin: "Night, I love you too."
She would move on though, she had already started, and eventually she would be able to stop reminding herself of that.
She fell asleep without tossing around for the first time in awhile. She missed Jericho being beside her, but was still able to slip into a comfortable sleep. The house was quiet with only the sounds of frogs and crickets to make up for the lack of white noise.
That is until the sound of a door being unlocked and opened could be heard.
The man who stepped in was not a welcome guest, despite owning a key to the front door. Part of him rationalized that if she didn't want him to come back she would have changed the locks. That some part of her must still love him, but in truth he knew that he had gone pushed them too far. Too far to ever go back to what they were, and too far for him to ever go home. And for what? He had nothing to show for everything he had lost, and nothing to compare to it. Dwelling on those thoughts didn't end well, in fact they had led to some of the darkest moments in his life as of yet.
It was easier to be angry, easier to smother that rational despairing voice underneath a righteous fury. To lose himself in it...he had become really good at that lately.
He paused for a moment after closing the door softly behind himself.
Thinking back to the event that led to his termination from the company. His hands around a slender throat, it was an ugly moment his more rational side didn't want to look at. When his thoughts turned to his hands around another woman's throat. A woman with dark hair and exotic dark eyes, and he visibly flinched from the memory.
Alex: "It wasn't my fault, she pushed me to do it, and Leon. Leon is the one that put the doubt in her head in the first place."
The silence of the house offered him no comforting reply, and the pale green walls that had once seemed so calming to him gave him no peace today. Oddly enough it was one of Munin's morbid paintings that helped him get a grip on his emotions, before he lost himself to them again.
He had never understood the appeal of the picture before.
It was a lovely Autumn woods scene, with leaves of the trees appearing even more rich and vibrant in contrast to the pale green walls of the entrance way. All the trees that is except for the one in the center of the wooded clearing. The center tree was dark with its branches gnarled and bare, beneath the tree sat a gentleman in a suit and top hat. You could not see the man clearly he was practically a dark silhouette against the vibrancy of color around him.
For the first time Alex could almost imagine what his face would look like if he could see it clearly. Would his expression be one of tortured grief and anger over everything he had lost, or would it be one of hopeless resignation.
He hadn't come here to admire the artwork though, and so shaking himself from his thoughts he moved on.
He knew that all the lights in the house were off, and at this hour both Munin and Travis would be asleep. It was better that, better not to risk the confrontation. God knows he wasn't sure what he would do if they had another confrontation, which was one of the main reasons he was there.
With that in mind he did his best to be quite, as he made his way up the stairs, and down the the second floor hallway.
The door at the end of the hall loomed before him. He took a breath to calm himself before quietly opening the door and slipping into the dark room.
Pausing he inhaled the faint smell of: cedar, spice, and vanilla. It was Munin and he had taken for granted how sweet the smell was before.
Quietly walking across the room he opened all the curtains allowing moonlight to illuminate the the room...and the rooms small occupant.
Munin laid in the center of the bed lost to dreams, and unaware that her space had been invaded by an unwanted guest.
Alex approached the bed and watched the small woman sleep peacefully for a moment. He wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and hold her, but he couldn't lay beside her anymore...that place belonged to someone else now.
Alex's hands clenched and he could almost hear the sound of his blood rushing with his instant fury.
How could she let that bastard worm his way into her life? Why couldn't she just let things go, and stay by his side?
Hadn't he forgiven her when she left him? He had remained loyal to her and only her? She let them poison her against him, she purposely provoked him into a fight and judged him for it?
All these thoughts and more raced through his mind. He started to lose himself to anger once more. It was easier, so much easier than standing there and admitting all the things his rational side whispered to him was right.
For a moment he wanted to hurt her as much as she hurt him, and that thought was like a bucket of ice water over his head.
He ran one shaking hand through his hair.
Hurt her? He wanted to hurt her?
Since when was hurting her even an option to think about?
Walking over to the decanter of whiskey by the fireplace he poured himself a drink. Noticing as he did so the nite aid and cup of water beside it.
Alex: "Well...that explains a lot."
He had wondered how he hadn't woken her up.
Alex: "Waking you up wasn't part of plan you know. Though at this point I have to kinda wonder if it was. If I came here tonight wanting you to catch me in the house and...I don't know be forced to deal with me, to talk to me."
He took a deep drink from the crystal tumbler. The amber liquid a mellow burn down his throat.
Alex: "I promise that wasn't what I told myself my intentions were when I came here tonight Nin. That's the problem though lately, I don't know what I want."
He spoke softly a bare whisper that perhaps sounded louder to him than it truly was in the silence of the room. His voice was rough with emotion, and it would have been impossible to distinguish it from grief or anger.
Alex: "No that's a lie. I know I want you, but everything else is such a mess. That even that one clear want...need...has become convoluted."
He pours himself another drink and sips it, instead of downing it this time.
Alex: "I went to far Nin, and now I can't go back. I don't even know who I am sometimes when I look in the mirror, but I do know one thing. If I stay around I could be dangerous to you, and that is something I can't live with."
He placed the mostly full tumbler back on the small board table, and walked back towards the bed to watch the woman that slept so peacefully.
Alex: "You once left me because you claimed it was best for both of us. I admit that even though I forgave you I never could understand you thought process behind that. I do now though..."
Reaching down he moved her hair gently away from her face so he could see her clearly.
Alex: "I could find a way to stay in the company. Do you honestly think me choking a vice-president would keep me out of the company if I fought it? Hell the vice-president hit her own sister with a care to get the position. No, I am leaving because its the only right thing that I can do for either of us, butt..."
Reaching into his pocket he withdraws a hammered gold heart charm that hung on an old gold chain. There were words etched into each side of it that read.
(I keep a close watch on this heart of mine, because you're mine I walk the line)
Alex: "I'm too much of a bastard to let you remove me from your life completely. This my dear is one thing I will not let you send back to me."
He set the necklace down on the nightstand beside her, and leaned down to brush a soft kiss across her forehead.
This lead to her shifting in bed from the disturbance, and Alex patiently waiting for her to drift back into a deep sleep, before saying his goodbyes.
Alex: "I will always love you Munin...good bye."
He had forced himself to turn away from the bed when an idea struck him.
If he was going to leave he ought to give Jericho some food for thought before doing so. The fecking ass hole So pulling out his phone he took a picture of Munin illuminated by moonlight. His message was composed as clear screw you to The Dread King.
(You think you can keep me away from her?Maybe you shouldn't let someone so precious to you out of your sight for so long.)
He hit send with a smile, and exited the house with less care to being silent than when he entered. He didn't notice the young man watching him leave from his window. His previously sleepy eyes suddenly wide awake.
Travis rushed to wake his mother from her deep sleep, and an hour and 3 cups of coffee later Munin was filing a police report. Only after she had explained yet again did she finally convince them to leave.
She had managed to stay calm and collected throughout the ordeal. Calm through all the officers suffocating concerns and intrusive questions, and calm through Travis's rage.
He was finally in bed at nearly five in the morning, and that was only because he had exhausted himself.
Now that everything had calmed down, Munin finally picked up the phone to call the person she had wanted since being woken by Travis's frantic shaking and yelling...Jericho.
Jericho: "Hey."
Munin:"Jericho?"
For the first time that night tears stung her eyes, and she hated herself for the way her voice broke a bit saying his name.
Taking a deep breath Munin nodded her head, before remembering that he couldn't see her.
Munin: "I'm ok, but Alex came into the house while Travis and I were asleep."
"I know, I'm on my way to you".
Munin bit her lip for a moment slumping into her chair with relief. She could do this alone, she would handle everything to make sure this didn't happen again. But the thought of not having to do it alone...that meant more to her than she realized it would. Then his words actually registered, and her brow creased in confusion.
Munin: "Wait...how did you know?"
"He sent me a picture. I think he has a death wish."
His voice was cold and controlled, but she could almost feel the undercurrent of fury beneath it.
Munin's voice hitches for a moment. If anyone had been watching her they would have seen all the blood leave her face.
Munin: "He...what? He took picture of me while I was asleep?"
She suddenly felt light headed and slightly ill. She had felt like taking a shower before, but now she felt like scrubbing herself raw. Things were never supposed to be like this. It was Alex, the man she had loved for years, before things had changed...Even still, was it normal to feel so violated?
"Yep. Jumped up wee prick better stay gone or he's dead."
She couldn't reply she had no words at the moment. She refused to break down, and cry on the phone. She was too strong for that, and had lived through to much to let this get the best of her.
But something broke a bit inside of her at the thought that Alex would do something like this.
"You there?"
His voice gentled slightly with concern, but not by much. She didn't need gentle right now she needed calm and logic.
Munin: "Ye yes..."
She took a deep breath to calm herself again.
Munin: "I'm here, I just needed a moment."
She could hear flights being announced in the background, and a child crying.
"It'll be ok. Change the locks and do what you normally would. Don't let it get to you"
She looked down at the numbers scribbled down in front of her. One number was for the locksmith,while the other was for a security company.
Munin: "I plan on it, I will be calling the locksmith and security company as soon as I get off the phone with you."
Her voice was steadier as she spoke, and some how looking at those numbers and listening to his calm voice helped her nerves settle. Some how being reminded that she was taking logical steps, and that she wasn't falling apart helped her keep from unraveling.
"Good. I should be there in a few hours. Now, go and take your mind off of it. Well, once you've made those calls."
While his words were still short, his approval was evident in those short words.
Munin: "I'm going to take a shower and try to get some sleep. Did you need to be picked up, or did you already take care of that?"
A boarding call could be heard in the background. This one sounding louder than the others.
"I'll get something with a sat-nav or just follow signs. I'll get there. My flight is boarding now."
Munin: " Ok, I will see you then..."
"You can count on it."
For the first time she could hear the smile in his voice, and she found herself smiling with him, before the line went dead.
She hung up the phone and immediately dialed the locksmith. No need to lose momentum it was best to get everything handled now.
Munin: "Hello, I would like to have someone come out to change a few locks on my house."
Her voice was cool and collected, no one would guess that she was running off roughly three hours of sleep. Nor that she had just had a very personal home invasion.
Munin: "I would like the agent to come out now please."
While usually she would be amused over the local wheeling and dealing, she now had no patience for it.
Munin: "Sir money is not an issue. I want someone out here within an hour, and I will pay for it."
She rolled her eyes at the sudden change of attitude of the locksmith. Funny how quickly that happened when money was involved.
Munin: "I'm so happy we understand each other, and look forward to seeing you soon."
She hung up the phone after giving her address, and called the security company. Only to have almost the exact same conversation with them.
When she finally got off the phone there was nothing to do but wait, and she realized that in keeping with the laws of the universe her coffee was now cold.
Oh well, she probably shouldn't drink anymore anyways.
Next to her mug, resting in a tiny heap was the necklace that was left behind. The cops had wanted to take it for evidence or some such, but for some ridiculous reason she couldn't let them do that. What would be the point when she wasn't pressing charges. Technically she couldn't press charges anyways, but the police seemed more than willing to try. She settled on simply filing a report instead.
Idly she picked up the necklace, and fiddled with it. Part of her wanted to believe that even though Alex had invaded her home he had good intentions in doing so. It was ridiculous and beyond, but a small part of her had to believe that some part of him meant leaving this as a good bye. Instead of some cruel attempt to punish her. She wanted to believe that some part of him was still...him.
She closed her hand over the necklace, and came to a decision.
She would not let this be a violation or punishment, whether it was meant to be or not. She would tuck this necklace away and let it be a good bye to a memory.
Munin: "Yesterday is but today's memory, and tomorrow is today's dream."
With a shrug of her shoulders she decided to drink her cold coffee. After all she seriously doubted that she would be going to sleep anytime soon.
