Post by Billy Bond on Sept 4, 2002 8:33:39 GMT -6
"Oh Please!"Hi!
The name's Bond, Billy Bond, and here is the latest edition of my exclusive Hotwire column: "Oh Please!".
I've pretty much presented all the tragic lines said by chumps who think they're smooth, so how do you react to the tragic lines that make you say "Oh Please!"? Well, you go with a put down. Call me cruel, but these chumps deserve all they get, so I've pulled together a special list of particularly mean responces to chat up lines that make you say: "Oh Please!".
So here we go, I give you this week's edition of...
"Oh Please!".
1) You have the body of a god.... Buddha.
2) How about never? Is never good for you?
3) I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
4) I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5) No, my powers can only be used for good.
6) I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7) I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
8) It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
9) You sound reasonable... Time to up the medication.
10) I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
11) You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
12) I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
13) I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
14) I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
15) Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
16) The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
17) What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
Until next time: It's gonna be Smooth!
Billy Bond
