Thoughts on Pimp, Pain and Deacon

[Billy Bond]

Smooth is in his flat, and has a video tape in his hand. He looks at it, smiles, rolls his eyes, and says...

Smooth:
"Been a while since I saw one of these!"

He puts the tape in the machine, and presses play. He sits down, and starts to watch the latest set of promos from GZW.

{fade}

[Billy Bond]

The scene opens in Smooth's flat as he unsteadily gets the camera recording. He steps back and sits himself in his chaise longe. (he has one at home AND in his dressing room! Mark A would just like one ) He is wearing jeans and a Smooth Operator 'It's gonna be Smooth all over again' promotional T-Shirt (only $19.99 fro . He runs his hand through his new look short, spiky hair, and then strokes his designer stubble. Finally he composes himself.

8) Smooth:
"The name's Bond, Billy Bond, and I've got something to say!"

Smooth raises his left eyebrow, cocks his head slightly, and smirks for the camera.

Smooth:
"What can I say? I've only been back a few moments, and I'm already the object of people's promos! I guess I did make an impact... mostly on Bad Influence's craniums with a steel chair! First of all, Maxx Pain: you keep out of my business, I'll keep out of yours! I will take on Bad Influence myself and don't need the help of some overgrown idiot who thinks I'm a jobber! You call yourself the main event? Wait until you get a load of me! I have a victory over Deacon Kane! Can you match that? No, you can't! You steal my friend Baz from me, and then fail to protect him when he needs you most. I can't forgive that! Baz is still having tests for goodness sake! He might never be able to walk without a limp ever again! Pah! And Troublesome wonders why I don't trust him! Well Troublesome: you cripple a good friend of mine, I tend to mistrust you! I digress, I was addressing Maxx Pain. Pain, I don't like you. I don't like your callous attitude. And I don't like you thinking that just because the Smooth One is away for a few months, you are the only man who can take on Deacon Kane! Let me reiterate... I don't need or want your help, or Troublesome's help, against Bad Influence! I can and will defeat them on my own. Sure you both have your vendettas against them, but just keep out of my way!"

Smooth wrinkles up his face, and takes a momentary pause. he then looks back at the camera with a look of disgust.

Smooth:
"And as for you Pimp Bizkit, you really are the lowest of the low, a piece of dirt, pond scum. Actually, looking at your attire, you look like pond scum in those ludicrous outfits! Do you really think you look good? You make Joan Collins as Alexis look tasteful! You call the GZW roster chicken do you Pimp? Well lets look at the facts shall we? When I was Intercontinental Champion for a month, I defended more times than you have in two! You've got a bit of metal around your waist that you're so scared of losing, you avoid fighting anyone! If I were officially back on the books I would happily take you on and take your precious title off you and wrap it back around the waist where it belongs! All this time does not alter the fact that you needed the help of another man to beat the Smooth One and you screwed me out of the title you undeservedly wear around your lazy, chicken shit waist! And as for your self-proclaimed title of 'Living Legend', do you know how many people are laughing at you? Tate Troublesome, Union Jack and Sho Murakame don't even respond to your ridiculous claims as they were Bad Company and you were the tagger on. They have better things to do than respond to 'that stupid guy in the lime green who was that other guy when they were Bad Company'. They know that they can do more than issue self-aggrandising proclamations about themselves that makes them the laughing stock of fans and wrestlers alike. They made something of themselves after Bad Influence beyond pathetic, insecure claims. Hell, even Happy Sumo laughs at you! You then have the audacity to mock the Smooth One and Eric Montair... I'm Billy Bond, the man who held the extreme title when we were ESP; he's EZ Money, the man who held the light-heavyweight title when we were ESP. What did you hold Pimp? Nothing but your own dick when you wanked every night! You're nothing Pimp? Living Legend? Barely living joke more like! You're gonna make my life hell are you? What you gonna do, make me look at your hideous suits? Talk more crap and make yourself silly on national TV? Wait a minute! Congratulations! You've already done it! But if you think you can do anything more, then try me, I'm ready to take you on, chump!"

Smooth takes another brief pause having got himself worked up over Pimp.

[Billy Bond]

Smooth:
"And finally, Deacon Kane. The world champion... the world champion who can see his title slipping from his grasp! You'd better hope I never get my contract back, because when I do, your arse and your title are mine! You took me out of the game, and damn near broke my neck. Even if I never get my contract back, I am going to be constantly behind you Deacon! Constantly, I will make your life and your title reign difficult! We're entering a new era in GZW and a new year, and guess what kind of an era and year it's gonna be? Got it in one: it's gonna be Smooth!"

Smooth does the eyebrow and the smirk, and the scene fades.

[Mike]

(the scene opens up with Pimp, he's got his usuall lime green attire, he grabs hold of a camera, and brngs it onto focu on him, as he does, you can see the cameraman fly off the camera to the side)

Pimp: Smooth Legs is back eh? the moron, who refused to have his legs waxed on air, the man WHO wakes up with Crystal Balls by his side everyday..... I thought that being blown away by the sheer force of being Played-a-live and me taking your title would have been enough humiliation, but no I have to hand it to you. you humiliate YOURSELF!, and you abuse your eye sigt, whe you wake up next to that chap you calll a girl every morning! now that must be a sight to shock you out of bed every morning! But that's enough ttalking about Crystal balls I don't want to throw up now do I!

You like to mention the fact that I didn't hold a title in E.S.P don't you! well lets look at facts here shall we? hmmm you two both held lowly titles, that were titles given to new comers, meanwhile I was wrestling in main event, getting my way to the top, Hell I even had a shot at the Heavyweight title, that somehow someway T-Rex managed to pull one over on me! But you see if I wasn't busy making E.S.P actually look good, then I would have been the Heavyweight champion, and I would still be the heavyweight champion now, as there is no way anybody would be able to take it from me! just like nobody is going to be able to take my Intercontinental title frome either! the one I defeated YOU for Smooth Legs.

Now you also like to make ridiculous accusations that my top designer suits are daft? hahaha you never had a sense of fashion did you Smooth? people idolise me, they love my suits, and yes maybe they don't like the suits all that much, but instead they want to be like their hero! me th "Living Legend" Pimp Bizkit. Now you see I may not have defeded my Intercontinental title all that much and do you know why that is? it's nothing to do with what you said that I'm Chicken shit, scared, no I'm nothing like yhou Smooth. No it's because the great GZW booking comitee see what a great Intercontinental champion I am, and they don't want to risk me loosing the title, although that's not going to happen! I can see why they like to be safe rather than sorry. You see Smooth you will get a shot at this title again, maybe not this week or the next, but sometime you will get a shot at MY intercontinental title again! and you know why? It's because I want you, and I want to tear you apart! I want to Play-You-A-Live once again Smooth. I want to humiliate you again! and I will HUMILIATE you Smooth. I will make you were on of my cutomary made outfits that you like so much! It won't just be an everyday mout fit though It will be this outfit.

(Pimp holds up a lime green thong, and a top with two holes cut out for were the pecks go, there is also a string with a ball in it there too)

Pimp: Smooth feast your eyes upon this beastish outfit! as when I Play-You-a-Live again, this will be your forfit, and you will have to wear it in front of the world, and this time there will be no escapeing it! That I will make certain of!

(the scene fades to black)