Smooth's got plenty to say!

[Billy Bond]

It's another official Smooth promo with the Smooth logo in the back, and Smooth sat on the chaise longe in a tux and the usual sunglasses. Baz is filming: he counts in Smooth.

8) Smooth:
"The name's Bond, Billy Bond, and I've got something to say!"

Smooth pulls down his trademark oval sunglasses with square lenses, and peers over them with a smirk. After a couple of seconds, he indulges himself with a raised eyebrow. He pushes the specs back up his nose and sits up, looking directly into the camera.

8) Smooth:
"I guess you're all wondering where the Smooth One has been over the past few days! Well I could tell you... but I think Crystal would kill me! I know how much you all missed me, especially Pimp and Deacon. You pair really have said a load of bollocks while I've been away haven't you? Dear me, I... get preoccupied for a few days and you pair start spouting even more crap than usual!"

Smooth poses once more with a raised eyebrow and a mock puzzled look.

Smooth:
"Oh who to address first... who to address first. Gaudy, talentless guy who can't win without screwing someone or the incredible bulk who's mouth is nearly as big as his arse..."

Smooth pulls out a penny.

;D Smooth:
"Heads for Pimps big head; tails for Deacons big arse..."

Smooth flips the coin, smacks it onto his hand, and then looks at the result.

8) Smooth:
"Heads it is... Pimp, you're so deluded it scares me! You genuiniely believe that you deserve the title that is around your waist! You make me laugh garibaldi boy, you really do. You've actually managed to convince yourself into genuinly thinking that you're a legitimate champion! Pimp! Look at the damned tapes! You needed a commentator with a steel chair to do the job you couldn't do, to steal MY Intercontinental championship from me! You haven't defended the belt properly ONCE yet! You're a sham of a champion, and whoever faces you next for the IC belt... I'll get back to that... will utterly destory you! You patronise people like Maxx Pain, claiming you are an icon to look up to, but all you are is a tragic figure with dress sense that would make Doctor Who blush! You are a ridiculous, talentless, pathetic, disillusioned, foolish, figure of fun, that even your peers in your stable can't respect! Pimp, take a good, ahrd look in the mirror, and tell me I'm wrong!"

Smooth is really getting into the swing of the promo, and there is a constant smirk on his face.

;D Smooth:
"Pimp, you are so preoccupied with your self-adoration that you can't see the truth. You still have the Intercontinental Belt because Troublesome is wrapping you in cotton wool! Where the hell was my rematch for the title? Ask the locker room, ask the fans, I deserve a rematch AND it is traditional for champions to give them too to prove it wasn;t a fluke. Your win wasn't even a fluke, it was a fix, a setup and a travesty! I can't BELIEVE I got no rematch! Meanwhile, instead of putting me or another worthy man in a match with you for the belt, a convenient Contest of Champions pops out of nowhere, and we're all forced to fight for a shot at the damned thing. ANOTHER week where you get away with not defending! Meanwhile, Jason Macavelli defends the TV title on almost every show! Who's the great champion, Pimp? Who's the man to look up to? If you really think it's you... then the mental asylum is down the road!"

Smooth leans forward, raises the eyebrow, smiles genuinly, winks, and points to the camera.

Smooth:
"Respect to you Jason, respect!"

[Billy Bond]

Smooth looks down for a moment, then looks up with anger.

Smooth:
"And as for the Contest of Champions, well I'm angry! I'm angry that I had to go in there to prove myslef when I should have got my damned rematch!"

Smooth hangs his head.

Smooth:
"And what makes the pill so damned bitter to swallow is that I failed. I failed miserably, and I'm ashamed. To be thrown out by Maxx Pain is so hard to take. Then Deacon Cu... sorry this is a family show isn't it... Kane decided to attack the Smooth One... but I'll come back to that. So someone that you and Troublesome don't want to win wins it: T-Rex. so what does he do for you? He makes it difficult for Rex... hell, your title reign just gets better and better doesn't it Pimp?"

Smooth shakes his head in disbelief.

Smooth:
"So I get screwed out of my rematch, then Rex gets screwed out of the shot he earned. Why do we stay in this business, when there's people like you and Troublesome in it? So the Smooth One gets put into a tournament on Manslaughter to determine whether or not he can face the number one contender for the belt he was screwed out of. I don't mind proving myself again after my bad showing at the Contest, but once again, it's made almost impossible for me! Look at my half of the draw!!! First of all it's me versus Magic, then Gideon! This is the first time I will face Magic since the ESP and Forsaken days when you were pulling me back Pimp. Things change, but in-ring ability doesn't. The match with Magic is going to be harder than any match I could ever have to against you! I will be gunning for anyone in my way, even a friend like Magic, to get to you Pimp! But I know, that I'm gonna have to work damned hard against the men i have to face before you, but the bottom line is that I want my title back, and I will put all my efforts into getting it."

Smooth pauses momentarily, crosses his legs looking thoughtful, then looks at the camera again.

Smooth:
"So it's you and me in the first round Magic. I know you're going to give me a hell of a fight, and you know I'm gonna do the same for you. So we'll finally find out if a ride in the storm or a smooth beating is superior, and to be honest, I really don't want to. Either way, I'm going to go away from out bout an unhappy man. I'll either have beaten on a person I respect, or I'll have lost my chance to get back my title. For me, our match is a lose/ lose situation. But you know that I will put one hundred percent in and won't pull my punches... I know that of you too. The only match we ever had was a farce... which ended up with you through a table, and me getting disqualified. Well that isn't gonna happen this time: it'll be you and me, mano y mano, one on one, and may the best man win!"

Smooth touches a small cut on his forehead, and scowls.

Smooth:
"And finally, Deacon Kane. Since you used Pimp to cheap shot me and cheat to win a match, you seem to have a problem with me! Could it be that you are worried that you have finally met a man who can beat you? Do you fear the Smooth Operation Deacon? On the mat, with your ankle at breaking point, you're not 7 ft tall Deacon, you're a screaming child, like everyone else who has felt the Operation! Attacking me in the parking lot on Monday annoyed me Deacon! So I got me some revenge! How'd you like your second Smooth Beating Deacon? Then you cheap shot me AGAIN at the contest of champions, Deacon. Why? Why, why, why? You're soooooo big, and sooooo strong! So why do you have to attack someone who is 7 inches shorter and over 100 lbs lighter than you when they're vulnerable, Deacon? You are SCARED Deacon, scared! Your huge dump truck arse knows it's gonna get kicked by the Smooth One! And as for not accepting your open challenge, pah! I don't need a handout from you! I earn my title shots... and don't take handouts 'cos I don't need or want one! You know you were struggling against me until Pimp interrupted in our match. You also know that you and I are drawn 1 - 1 in our matches. I've beaten you once; you've beaten me once. We will meet again, and you know as well as i do, it's gonna be smooth!"

Smooth does the eyebrow, smirk and sunglasses pose as Baz fades the camera.

[Mike]

(Pimp is sat in an armchair, he sat back, with the remote, on his left side of the armchair, Pimp slopes back into his chair, as Smooth Operator Billy Bond's promo begins to air)

Pimp: well, well, well what do we have here?, We have a Mr Smooth Legs back on air, and may I remind you that you have still not fulfilled my contract that states that you must Wax your legs live oln air, infront of the fat scum of america, that are not worthy to even be called fans! they are not realy fans, they are all idiots with no sense. If they had sense they would cheer for me, as I am the intelligent one around here, I am the one with the plans, and Intelligence is very much a great thing to have, and Smooth Legs, that is something you don't seem to have much of!

also too right Crystal "the HEBEAST" would kill you if you said what you have been up too while you have been off-air! Ol Crystal Balls, wouldm't want everybody knowing that she has the same dress size as you! XXXXXXL, and thats just for your damn ego!, i mean look at you. You actually seem to believe that you should be holding my Intercontinental title! I earned it you know through itelligence, something that you don't understand! and that Billy is why you don't understand that I am the most worthy Champion here in GZW! i mean look at Big Country for instance, nobody wants to see him on television, he ruins the ratings! so why not have a champion that boosts the ratings, and deserves to be a champion? somebody like ME!

Hell you must have the intelligence of a PE teacher 0.5, I meaqn calling our Heavyweight cahmpion Deacon Kane a  Gaudy, talentless guy who can't win without screwing someone, and an incredible bulk who's mouth is nearly as big as his arse. That isn't too smart, saying stuff like that will certainly get you arsed kicked by Deacon Kane! hell I kick it for fun, but Deacon I'll leave his destruction to you. Not that I couldn't do it myself just I might get blood on my brad-new Lime waistcoat! and You aint worth, as much as my waistcoat boy!

Smooth I looked at the damn tapes again, and I thank you for telling me to do so!  hell watching you arse get beat, by such an intelligent plan like myn from a "Living Legend" such as myself! My plans truely are great, and watching them again just makes me realise what a Killer I truely am. Nobodys plans come off quite like myn, they are unique as they have never failed! ulike you, who must be the biggest failure I have ever seen!, why the GZW continues puting you on TV i'll never know, hell you come on and the ratings flunk!

and you wana know why the ratings drop? 'cos nobody wants to see your ugly mug on TV, so please leave so the GZW can prospar, hell after watching you last promo, I have noticed something about you...... Your tongue is tooo damn big for your mouth, ya freak! hehehe its kinda funny though, cause it kinda just flaps around, as you talk jibberish! hehehe, pitty none of the fans think so in TV land, hell your ratings prove that!

oh and onto the reason why I haven't defended my title yet! the reason you haven't had a re-match is 'cos you suck, and i'm looking for a challenge! and the challenges are set so i truly do get a man that deserves the chance to face me, and m,ake a name for himself by fighting me the "Mid-Card Killer" a "Living Legend" and he can then go on to tell his grand children about wrestling a great like me, You on the other hand, already have that privellage!, and judgeing by how old you look, with your grey hair, your proburbly telling them now!

anyway whoever does win this shot at MY Intercontinental title, will be Played-a-live

(scene fades)